azzie17: I’m not a SAHW, but I recently stepped down from a well-paying yet miserable job to a far less stressful one that’s almost part-time, has generous vacation time, and pays beans.
Basically at this point I’m working for medical benefits for DH and I, and that is my contribution to our financial situation. After medical benefits are taken out, my salary is basically enough to buy a tank of gas and a couple bags of groceries.
All of this is to say that I’m pretty much fully dependent on DH financially.
And up until now, I’ve never depended on anyone to take care of me. It’s an odd feeling because I was raised on the idea that it’s critically important for a woman to have her own money and the means to take care of herself — to never be fully dependent on a man, or helpless.
I used to have assets, savings and investments but it was all lost in a bad real estate decision that I made prior to meeting DH.
DH on the other hand is extremely well off. When we got married, he paid off all of my bills and my car. I’m not bothering to save anything because on my current salary, I would only be able to save a laughable amount of money. Plus, it would be silly for me to stash money away in my own name while DH is giving me grocery and gas money to supplement my pathetic salary.
While my name is not on any of his assets that were acquired prior to us meeting each other and getting married, his mother recently passed away and DH is in the process of settling her estate. He has told me that his mother’s real estate will be listed in both of our names.
There is no way DH and I are going to be splitting up, but let’s just say that in a hypothetical situation, if we did — I would not ask for or accept any offers of alimony. That’s just not how I was brought up. If we decided to part ways, I would leave the marriage with my boxes of things and that’s it. I would tell him to take my name off of his mother’s property and go on my way.
Even though I would be flat broke, I have the education and experience to go back to higher-paying work if necessary. So that is my security blanket and I’m OK with that. I also have a generous pension coming to me at retirement, due to my former career.
But we’re NOT splitting up, lol.