Post # 1
I am 24 weeks pregnant (YAY!) and the plan come January is for me to Stay-At-Home Mom with the baby as well as work from home with my side job while he works FT and 1 weekend a month, 2 weeks a year in the Air Force. By January my job will be roughly 14 hours a week at home from my computer while Mother-In-Law watches our son or takes him out for a few hours.
We don’t have a very clean house TBH and now spend 4 hours together every Sunday with dishes, bathroom, vacuuming, laundry and half-ass cooking (we buy a lot of pre-made food or 1/2 cooked food.)
I never considered staying at home before- but excited to, but wonder what I am “expected” to do. Granted this is a conversation to have with my husband as well, but I wanted to know what other women do? I have never been around a baby before so I also don’t know what I can do time wise with a newborn at home. The other thing is we both grew up w/ SAHMs and they did everything and TBH have co-dependent husbands of 30+ yrs who couldn’t feed themselves- Hubs is very independent as am I.
So what do you do around the house; cleaning? cooking? errands? household tasks? mowing lawn? If you stopped working FT were you “expected” to do more?
Post # 3
@aliciapdx: I basically do everything. Lol, SO will help when I ask him to but I do everything most days. I find it’s easier to spread out housework daily as in like 30 mins a day doing little things instead of all of it one day on the weekend.
Post # 4
I am not a Stay-At-Home Mom, but I am a teacher. When I am home during the summer or on school breaks, I do everything. When I am working Darling Husband will help out, but only if I ask him. He is fine with the house being a mess and since I have been back to work, it has been.
Post # 5
I was unemployed for a year while I lived with my then FI/now Darling Husband. I cooked or prepared dinner every night, cleaned up from dinnner, made him breakfast before work, did laundry, swept & dusted, vacuumed, cleaned bathrooms, and ran household errands. But we didnt have children! And I loveeee to cook. I felt the cleaning & laundry was my ‘contribution’ to our household since I wasn’t earning any money. Now that I”m working, we split cleaning & laundry, but I still take care of dinner (but thats mostly because I enjoy doing that).
I’m working now, but when baby comes along, I will stay at home for a while. Then my ‘contribution’ will be taking care of baby. FI and I will continue to split cleaning & laundry, and we’ll see who takes care of dinner.
In my eyes, raising a child is a full-time job just as much if not more than going to work everyday, so parents should split household work.
Post # 6
@aliciapdx: I am not working part time from home and 33 weeks pregnant. I took more stuff on when I went to part time because I have more time. We never had a discussion about it and Darling Husband would do anything I ask him to do, I just have to ask. It was the same when I was FT. He didnt volunteer to do chores, I just had to ask and he would do his share. I guess you could say I “manage the labor” and I adjust it to time available to complete it.
More or less my jobs are
- cleaning (except for the shower which Darling Husband does due to the fumes)
- some yard work (weeding, bush trimming etc)
- grocery shopping and cooking. I cook dinner and pack his breakfast and lunch for him to take to work 90% of the time. If I dont actually physically pack it there is stuff cooked/prepped for him to take and he will pack it.
- pool maintenance/cleaning
- manage house maintenance (contracts, service people, touchups, car maintenance)
Darling Husband does/helps with
- after dinner dishes. We do it together.
- mowing lawn, edging. Anything outside that uses something with an engine. He wont let me at the moment. Any heavy lifting.
- anything I ask him to do really, which at the moment isnt a lot
- Finances (mortgage docs/insurances, retirement investing, cash flow etc) with consultation from me.
When I was working FT out of the home we split the chores much more evenly, but I was always the chef. If he did grocery shopping (not often, but it happened) I would give him a list. We will return to this when I go back to work next year.
I do enjoy cooking, but dont think I have a gourmet dinner every night. Quick dinners do not have to be involved. I do a lot of prep, thinking ahead, freezing etc. For DH’s breakfast I will often make a large egg bake with veggies in the oven on Sunday and hell eat that. Or I make home made yogurt (cheaper and healthier often than the sugar laden stuff with out preservatives) in the crockpot on Sunday. Takes no time and I can add frozen berries to it. Or when I make some rice one night Ill make a double batch and freeze some of it to take out another week to use with dinner. I make extra dinner and that turns into lunch the next day. etc
Post # 7
I do all the cleaning…cooking and laundry as well as grocery shopping. i also have two small children…so i don’t get a break. i have to always have an eye on my kids…cuz they will destroy and make tons of messes…lol. i rarely get to watch tv and just relax during the day. im a stay at home mom and i don’t mind doing all of those “duties”…it’s my responsibility because i am home. my husband will try ad help…but i don’t like the way he does things…i usually have to do them over.
Post # 8
@aliciapdx: I do everything at home, all cleaning, errands, shopping etc. I have a 4.5 month old that I do most everything for as well. My husband works ridiculous hours and rarely even sees the baby during the week. Luckily I have a pretty easy kid with predictable and long naps who also sleeps 12 hours a night. I have her on a decent schedule and am able to get all my household stuff done during the day. I have my mom babysit one day a week for a few hours and I get “me” time to go shopping, get my nails done and whatever. If I ask my husband to do something he does it 100% of the time but he works hard and I’m fine w doing the house stuff plus when he does have free time I’d rather him spend it with the baby.
Post # 9
I do pretty much all the inside stuff, unles I’m exhausted and he makes an offer to help. I do a ton of laundry (I don’t know how one man can have that much!) dishes, cleaning kitchen and bathrooms.
He does the kitty box and mowing the lawn. He loves doing the outdoor stuff. He also cooks b/c he loves to cook. If I try and help I get pushed out LOL
Post # 10
@ThreeMeers: I’m jealous of your pool maintenance, though i’m sure it’s a chore you hate ;). I’d love to have a pool, but it would have to be indoor here in the UK.
Post # 11
@CatyLady: Its actually not a lot of work surprisingly. We have a small dipping pool with a spa and its in a screened in area so not a lot of junk gets in it. Still have to do chemicals weekly, but other stuff is done monthly or even yearly. I dont mind it so much. But yeah, if the pool and outdoors big it would probably be a lot more work.
Post # 12
@aliciapdx: I work full time plus. (66 hours/week) and somehow I end up doing everything. My oldest daughter has chores she rarely does on nights I’m not home. I’m pretty annoyed about it. I feel the man should step up more. This old lady is tired!
Post # 13
I do everything but lawn and car maintenance. All cooking, cleaning, laundry and errands plus caring for Dirty Delete.
Post # 14
OP: I’m a stay at home mom with a 6 month old.
I have a routine going that works for me. In the morning, I do the dishes and clean off all wipe down all the countertops in the kitchen in the morning. At some point in the morning, I dust or vacuum the house. I alternate days with those chores (we have a dog that sheds like crazy and my husband is sensitive to dust). I start preping for dinner around noon and try to have it done by early afternoon before my husband goes to work (night shift). I make his lunch for work. I also clean the bathroom once a week or so. Before I go to bed, I do a quick sweep of the house and pick things up and put everything in order. I don’t seem to have time to deep clean, but I can maintain the house.
Our bedroom is crazy messy because I can hardly get in there to clean and our laundry seems to always be backed up. I do menu planning for the week and check out sales for groceries. I do make everything from scratch and am trying out lots of new recipes now. I do all the grocery shopping and shopping for gifts for birthdays/Christmas/weddings.
Our house used to be messier, but I’m more organized now that I’ve had my son.
My husband does the garbage and cleans the dog poop. Those things gross me out.
Post # 15
I currently work PT and my Darling Husband works FT. I wasn’t planning on working PT for the last two years, but it has worked out that way and we’ve adjusted. I’ve taken over a lot of the household chores and maintenance since I’m home most of the day. I also sew a lot for selling, so I spend rainy days in my craft room (and some sunny days as well).
cooking, groceries, gardening (flowers and veg), dusting, floors, laundry, dishes
yardwork, building things/fixing things, bathroom and toilet, rubbish and recycling
He is supposed to do dishes as well, but oftentimes doesn’t do them in the morning before he goes to work. I don’t mind doing them so I’ve let them slide a bit. We’re currently TTC so I am curious how things will change when/if I get pregnant and have a child. I do know that when we start our family, I’ll be a Stay-At-Home Mom.
ps- notice how my Darling Husband does all the grimey jobs? Yeah, that’s what I like.
Post # 16
Im a stay at home mum, but both my children are at school now so I take care of everything house related from car washing, gardening, cooking, cleaning etc.
My husband however pays all the bills and does our banking. It works really well for us.