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Now that I'm a newlywed, it seems I've been drawn to the newlywed/babies/pregnancy boards. Not that I'm pregnant, or TTC, but I guess that's what's next!
We have talked about if and when we have kids and I've said that I would like to be a SAHM and DH would like that as well. We were both raised by SAHM's and believe that if parents are able to so, they should. I'd probably be similar to my Mum in that once the kids are old enough I'll take on a casual job and then just take on more hours until I'm full-time again when they leave.
So, with that, are you or will you be a SAHM or Working Mom? If you don't mind, explain why.
@CherryWaves: This is always an interesting topic. I would absolutely want to work full-time. I have worked hard to get a good education in a good field. Career success is very important to me personally and that makes it very hard for me to contemplate being a SAHM. Also, I'm not willing to make the lifestyle adjustments required to live on only one income.
If/When I have kids after graduate school, I will continue to work. A) I can't imagine doing 5 years of graduate school to just sit on the degree, B) It's truly my passion and I really WANT to work in my field, and C) I watched my SAHM get divorced after 18 years unexpectedly (my father cheated on her, but they were unhappy before that) and really struggle not only figuring out how to support herself, but figuring out what her own passion and fulfillment was outside of the home & kids. I'm lucky enough to have that passion already and I don't want to waste it. I'm not knocking SAHMs, they do wonderful things with their lives and their homes/kids/spouses/anything they choose to do to supplement that. I just know that I need that outside-of-the-house, academic, paid fulfillment to be happy.
ETA: I want to work bad enough that I don't care if every last dollar of my paycheck goes to a good daycare/nanny. How's that for decisive :P
I will be a full time working Mom.. there is no other way we can pay our mortgage and unfortunately I make too much to consider saving daycare costs, lol!
I joke about this with my friends, because I don't make enough to cover daycare and the mortgage, but I make too much to stay home, lol! The money is going to have to come from somewhere, we will make it work.
I am a full time working mom with 2 girls (8 years, and 4 months old). I was raised by a SAHM and admire those who want to do it, but it is not for me. Both maternity leaves I went back to work early. I enjoy my job and feel that I make a difference in people's lives through my work. I want my daughters to grow up knowing that I make money and do important work in the community. I don't feel that I am any less of a success as a mother because I work, some days I feel like superwoman. Also, as a side note, when my ex-husband walked out on our marriage, I was pretty damn glad that I worked and could support myself and my older daughter.
I think I'll eventually hit all those categories, lol. I currently work full-time, but once baby #2 shows up, I'll be a full-time SAHM and grad student. I plan on taking a few years off to finish my degree and do some occasional/side work. When I get back into the workforce, I'll probably go part-time for a while, and not go back to full-time until the kids are older.
I'm just not sure I could live on only one income. I live in a very expensive area. DH and I make about the same amount of money, so he'd have to double his income...
I also just can't imagine staying at home all day with kids and cleaning nonstop.
We've talked about this and now that I'm pregnant we know what we'll probably do. My husband makes more than enough to support us and keep us going. So I'll probably stay at home until our youngest is around four or five and then go back to work. I've also considered trying to get at least a part time, work from home job at some point.
Also, once this one is around six months old, I'm going to apply to go back to graduate school or possibly get another bachelor's degree.
When we had my youngest daughter I went back to work part-time. It saved us a lot in daycare and I got to be home with the kids more then at work. It was all about the numbers and seeing how I could make the most while reducing our monthly bills at the same time.
Now I work two 12 hour night shifts a week. It feels like I am a SAHM that just works every once in a while. It works great for us. I get to be there for all the kids stuff and we have my income to cover the bills.
I think I will try to work part-time while my kids are young...I think that would make me happiest. Being home full time would wear on me, I think, while working full time would be stressful/difficult for other reasons. I think working 2-3 days a week would be the best of both worlds. Luckily, I think my current job would be flexible (and probably prefer for me to work part time) and DH makes enough to support us without my income.
full time working mom. We make about the same and could just barely get by, which isn't enough for us so we're not willing to give up my income.
I don't think there is anything wrong with being a SAHM, but personally that is not something I would want to do. I worked too hard in school and have worked my way up in my career that there is no way I would let that go. I plan on being a full time working mom, because I actually enjoy my job. Both of our parents have offered to watch our future kids so we wouldn't have to pay for daycare, which is a HUGE bonus for us. Luckily we do not plan on having kids for another 6 plus years.
I'm a stay at home Mom and have been since my son was 8 months old he is now 3. It's not for every one and sometimes I wish I still worked. I also have 3 other children and 1 daycare girl she is 1 1/2. I do think I sacrificed any social life I had before becoming a SAHM but my son is a very spirited child and I wasn't happy with the way he was being handled in daycare so the sacrifice is worth it to me. At least 2 out of 7 days a week I think I'm going to go crazy but I survive and know it's the best thing for our family and my son. I also have really good days and I'm thankful to be able to be a SAHM.
I am a SAHM. My FI works hard so I can stay at home. We plan to have a houseful of kids both biological and adopted (in addition to the two we have) so it makes no sense for me to go to work. Salary would soon equal childcare costs. :) Besides I think it is a wonderful gift to give your children. If I was working I wouldn't be able to be as involved in their lives as I am now. I am a give your all kind of person and struggled to split my efforts between work and home.
I struggle with the decison between working mom and SAHM. I would love to stay at home but I also worked really hard to get where I am and I couldn't imagine putting that on hold, especially since the work field is so competitive. My goal is to be a full time working mom but work from home 2 times a week, that way I get the best of both worlds. My boss doesn't believe in part time, and honestly part time doesn't really exist in my career field, so working from home seems like a great option.
I plan on doing part time. I have a side business right now that is more of a hobby, so i plan on keeping that going when we have kids and get out of the corporate world. it's mostly research and planning then doing events on the weekends. Plus i will be able to have more time to get into the campagining in my area which is my passion.
We are really lucky because DH has a great job with great bennifits so i have the ability to stay home and raise our kids (when we have them). My mom was a SAHM and i loved it but DH was a daycare kid and he hated it, so it made the choice for us really easy.
Fingers crossed that i'm able to build the business so when the kids are in school it has turned into a full time gig.
I will be a SAHM. Part of the prerequisite to us having children is being able to afford to have me stay home. We could technically swing it now but that would mean giving up a lot of the extras that we enjoy (like premium cable & fancy toys) and neither of us are really willing to do that. With the cost of daycare, it often isn’t even worth it for one parent to work. If it’s between taking home $200 a week after paying for childcare or being home with my kid, I would pick the latter.
The plan now is I will be a working mom.
Couple reasons: I'm not sure if I can stay at home 24/7. I absolutely love love love kids. But staying at home 24/7... I might go crazy.
I LOVE my job. It's not just a job that pays. I've wanted to be an architect since I was a young girl. It's my dream career. Mind you I'm not a hugely career driven person but I do love my job. If it was just a paycheck kinda job I might feel differently.
We can not afford our mortgage and bills w/o me working without making huge sacrifices.
Day care is not taking a huge chunk out of our paychecks. If it were I would re-consider.
I think the other thing is I grew up in a family where both parents worked full time, long long hours. When I was old enough I picked up a lot of the household slack, it's just how it is in my culture. Moms don't stay at home, we could not afford to. So working mom is a norm to me. Whereas my husband's mom did stay at home but he's totally on board with me working after baby as well.
That being said the thought of putting my infant in daycare makes me want to throw me up. I'm really hoping my boss will allow me to work from home on day a week. Then my husband is off one day a week as well so that will bring it down to 3 days a week in daycare for baby.
But that's the plan for now we'll see how I feel after baby comes! I know plenty of moms who planned to go back full time after baby and just could not handle it and ended up quitting!
I want to be either a SAHM, or possibly work very part-time. One great suggestion that I've heard, that we plan on doing, is while you both are able to work, live on only one salary, and put everything else straight into savings. Then, when you do have a baby, you not only have a nice chunck of savings, but you are completely free to decide how much to keep working, without worrying that you will have to cut-back on your lifestyle or else feel forced to keep working.
We all work full time as parents; there is no such thing as a part-time mom. I also work full-time outside of our home because I need it for my own sanity. I need the mental stimulation and challanges and adult interaction that my career provides. I couldn't wait to go back to work after DS was born. Being a stay-at-home-parent is right for some people and wrong for others. It would definitely be wrong for me.
I don't currently have kids, but have full intentions of being a full-time working mom. My career is very important to me. Also, I wouldn't want to give up my income. I make an amount that would not equal childcare.
I will stay home until they are 5-6. I plan on finishing up my degree online while staying home! It will be hard but worth it :)
I'm hoping to transition back into work with 4 weeks of part-time before going full-time after the baby is born. I don't think I'm cut out to be a SAHM, and DH also says I make too much money to stay home, and that when I am off work I cost him money because I get bored and go shopping 
Our ultimate plan is that I'll stay home until our youngest child goes into school K-5...assuming we have 2, and they aren't too far apart. We'd love to have one soon and then have another 1-2 years later. That's what my Mom did and I think it was highly successful and hasn't hindered her career AT ALL - she makes a lot more than I ever even aspire to, I'll just say.
I'll start working on my Masters during the last few years I'm at home as well, and then look for jobs related to that. I would also try and make some sort of part-time/casual working money. My Mom sold Pampered Chef and worked at our playgroup's the 2 days a week that we went.
The plan is for me to be a SAHM and I couldn't be more excited about it :) My husband is completely on board and excited about it too so I think that definitely helps. We won't be rolling in the dough with just his income but we'll be making it and the monetary sacrifice is worth it to us.
We could afford for me to stay home once we have kids but it would mean giving up a lot of the little luxuries that we enjoy and to me, staying home isn't worth giving up that AND my career.
I voted casual working mom? Technically I'm a SAHM but I do a casual daycare out of my home caring for a friend's two children. One just for a few hours after school, the other is a toddler and that's full time Mon-Fri from 9ish-5ish. It's a really good compromise for us. I don't make a lot but between that income and what we save on not paying for daycare we are able to live comfortably on DH's income. We're not rich by any means but we can pay all our bills, go out to eat, take vacations and not feel strapped for cash. I know a lot of families really scrimp to get by with only one parent working and if that was the case for us I'd probably go back to work, at least part time. I like that my daughter has friends to play with during the day, yet I get to stay home and hang in my pjs if I want, lol. I did work full time till my daughter was 18 months old and I do miss socializing with adults, I have to admit. Also dressing up in cute outfits, haha.
I just started back up full time from maternity leave. We are going to see how it goes. I have to say I miss my son a lot!
I'm a SAHM. I love it. Once my son is in full time school, I'll go back to work. I'd rather be making money, than spending it.
It'll depend. We haven't quite decided b/c we aren't sure where we'll end up. It looks like we might be going to San Francisco which is like triple the cost of living we're accustomed to. So for now, I'm going to say that we'll hold off on our TTC plans until we move out. If I do end up pregnant, then I'd likely stay home for a little while and then eventually go back to school or work part time. Eventually I want to go to medical school but there are few professional/school related things I need to accomplish before then.
I'm hoping to work part-time after we have a baby. (Like 3 full days a week or 5 half days a week) My company is very flexible and my boss has already told me this would be fine. (She knows I'm going through IVF and miscarried last year so we've already talked about my future work plans after having a baby) I couldn't stay home full-time because I need social interaction and enjoy working. I think I'd go nuts at home. But if I worked full-time I think I'd miss my baby/child too much. So I think part-time will be perfect! :)
I'm probably not going to have kids, but I know that if I do, I will be stay at home. I get tired so easily, I just don't think I could handle a job and a kid. I don't know how working moms do it! I hope they all get mom-of-the year awards.
In my career this really isn't an option. If I want to stick with my career path, then I have to work full-time. If I take more than a few months off for maternity leave it will almost definitely damage my career prospects. I think if I really had the choice, I would prefer to work 3-4 days/week and have some more time with my kids while they're little, but unfortunately that just won't work out.
I definitely want to be a SAHM. I want to be with my (future) kids 24/7 and make a fun home-life for us and the DH. However, my student loans make that life a joke 
I need to work full time for 10 years to have my loans forgiven. Luckily, in my current position full-time is considered anything over 30 hours. I'm hoping to be able to decrease my hours to 32 and work from home 1 day per week. My husband can work from home one day as well, so that will leave only two days of day care.
We'll see what happens when the time comes!!
I am a SAHM of two girls. We were both determined that this is what we wanted from the very beginning and can afford to do it. I don't being with them for even a second.
I'm a SAHM. And I LOVE it. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I didn't hear the proverbial clock ticking until my mid-30s, so in some ways I never thought I'd have kids. But when my husband and I got married, I started to envision a life with children. And we both agreed that we would rather I stay home and raise our children -- at least until school age. Day care is a fine choice. But it's not for me. I'm thankful that we're in a position where we can live on my husband's salary for a few years.
That said, there is a small amount of freelance work that I do periodically. But that's pretty rare, and it's something I do to simply to keep my contacts and my mind engaged.
Edit: I should add that I have a master's degree that I worked hard for and paid dearly for. I love my chosen career path. But at the end of the day -- and at the end of my life -- I have a feeling that what will give me the greatest satisfaction will be my family, not my career.
Another edit: When my daughter screams because she's tired, I want to be the one to soothe her. Not because I think someone else couldn't do it; I believe that day care agencies are staffed with loving, caring individuals. But I want that opportunity myself, because I'm selfish. :)
I just had to chime on this thread because I JUST found out today that I'm going to be a full-time WAHM (work-at-home mom). I'd never considered that option before because it just seemed too hard to swing in my field (I'm an attorney). But an opportunity just fell in my lap to work from home full time. I'm super excited about it, especially since we're having our first baby in June. We're going to hire a full-time nanny to provide childcare during my work day, but I'm super happy that I get to avoid commuting and daycare pickups and drop offs. And buying maternity office clothes.
If it wasn't for this opportunity, I'd be working outside the home full time.
Unfortunately my income in our primary one so I'll need to go back to work (I really like my job, though). My husband works mornings only (like 5:30-11ish-he's a barista) and so our plan is to do daycare in the mornings, maybe a nanny if we can find someone for mornings. Luckily we are in a smaller town and neither one of us commutes very far.
i never thought i would be a stay at home mom, but it's looking like that's the way it is going to be.
Financially not sure that we can swing it, so I probably end up being a FT working mom. Ideally, I would like to be SAHM --but only for the first 1 or 2 years max. However, I'd feel more comfortable earning an income by either working from home or with a PT job. I will need interest outside of the home a few days a week and I like being control of my income. We defintely plan on starting a business together so ideally any work I do will be for the 'family' anyway.
Maybe I could stretch juggling being a W/SAHM up the preschool years, then its defintely its back to work FT. I don't see the point of being SAHM once the kids are in school. Frankly most of the women in my family were working women so its model that I'm comfortable with.
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