SAHMs – do you get "me time" away from your kid?

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
4587 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t get as much me time as I would like but I get a little. I’m an introvert and I basically NEED time alone to recharge. I’m really fortunate that both sets of grandparents live fairly close by so I usually have my mom or MIL come by to watch DD for a couple of hours while I go do a little shopping or something. Occasionally I’ll go out on the weekend as well, while DH is home with DD. Sometimes I go to the park for a quick stroll and fresh air, or I get myself some frozen yogurt.

I’ve never done anything as elaborate as a massage, or even a mani/pedi or a movie. I usually limit my time away to about two hours. I would love to do something more indulgent but we don’t really have the budget for those kinds of extras right now.

Post # 3
Member
6744 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

My husband and I have scheduled in a “me” night- happens to be Mondays. Basically we have dinner and then I go out for the evening- sometimes to meet girlfriends for drinks, sometimes to go shopping for something fun- (groceries don’t count!). Last night I went shopping for a dress for an upcoming wedding. I really look forward to my night off- I think everyone needs one! My husband just has to put our girls to bed.

Post # 4
Member
2696 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I was a SAHM for the first year with DD (due to having 1-year mat leave in this country). With a baby that was so young, and EBF, it was hard for me to go out on my own for more than a couple hours. Most of the time it was just long enough to go do some shopping or something, so I don’t know if it was actually “me” time. DD is now almost 3, so I can leave her with DH, or either grandparents when I want to go do stuff with DH or on my own. I still seem to have a hard time leaving for more than a couple hours though. I usually just go get my hair done, get a pedicure, etc. DH pushes me to do more..but I guess I am just a home body.

I will admit, that during this pregnancy, I have taken a couple sick days just to be at home, by myself. DD in daycare, DH working, and me at home. There’s something very enjoyable about being in my house by myself.

I am about to start being a SAHM again here within a few weeks, and I am really looknig forward to it, but my opportunities to do things by myself are going to go away again!

Post # 5
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee

I think this question could apply to anyone – I’m sure working moms have just as tough a time getting “me time”, maybe even more so – being at work all day, coming home to a million things to do and having to go to bed early to get up early the next day.

I am expecting not to have time to myself once we have kids. That’s why DH and I want a few months to get “bored” of free time before we TTC.

But I am interested in reading the responses.

Post # 6
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

One option is to work out an arrangment with another SAHM you know where one day you drop your kid off at her place for 2-3 hours and the next day (or week) she drops her kid off at your place for 2-3 hours.

Post # 7
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I work, but my SIL doesn’t.  She used a mother’s day out at a local church with her kids. 

Post # 8
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

MrsCallalily:  I couldn’t agree more.  It drives me crazy when people think working moms have all this time to themselves just because they work!  IMO, it’s even harder to find some time to do anything when as soon as you want through the door your responsibilites at home begin.  Rant over.

OP, one of my friends is a SAHM and her church has a “mommy’s day out” program.  It’s not really a whole day out but you can drop off the child for up to 3 hours.  I don’t think my friend has ever done anything as elaborate as a movie or massage though.  She uses that time for doctors appointments, errands and small things like getting a haircut.

Post # 9
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

SnowInApril:  Add me as another working mom who has trouble finding a minute to herself.  You just have 2 jobs instead of one!!!

Post # 10
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  I’m not a mom yet but my mom is a working mom and she always said she had 3 jobs – wife, mom and her outside-the-home job.  I have the utmost respect for women that work and have a family.

Post # 12
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Does your husband have his own time?  (Not work related, that doesn’t count.)  How does he get it?

Post # 13
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’m sure OP is asking about SAHMs because a)she is one, and b)it often seems like the attitude is that SAHMs shouldn’t get any breaks because they aren’t working outside of the home.

Post # 15
Member
1487 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mrs.Sawyertobe:  me too and I get the annoyance but on the other hand I also get that for a SAHM me time often simply means time without the baby and I admit I am grateful that I get to go to work and use my brain in a different way and talk to adults about things other than nap schedules and preschool. It’s kind of me time but certainly not as nice as time spent relaxing/socializing. And I admit sometimes I feel sooo stressed with a job that’s rewarding but one where I often take home work with me. It’s hard to get everyhing done!

BUT, I went bonkers on maternity leave And having everything be baby baby baby. Now, I wish I worked part time instead of full time, then I’d have the best of both worlds: the work outlet and more time with my son!

OP, I almost exclusively get my true “me” time at night. I go out about twice a week with friends for dinner or drinks while my DH puts our son to bed. It works out great for us bc I’m an extrovert and he’s a bit more introverted and gets his time “alone” at home, while I catch up with friends. About once a month we have a date night, usually  dinner just the two of us then we meet up with friends for drinks. Our nanny is happy to do date nights so it’s fairly easy for us so we’re lucky. It’s more about the money as we don’t have family near us.

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