A stay at home mom? Absolutely. But a stay at home wife? Hardly. I know a girl from high school who is a stay at home wife by choice, and I find it laughable how hard and stressful she thinks her life is...She was bitching the other day about their housekeepers vaccuuming while she was trying to watch The View. Give me a break.
No, I have nothing against people that do this, but I do like working. Granted I may be a SAHM soon....but without kids I just couldn't. I am on maternity leave now and I really can't stand it.
I am a stay at home mom.
I call stay at home wives lazy (Sorry if you happen to be one). Even if you are ridiculously rich, you could do something worthwhile with your time! Unless you are retired, but then you earned that right!
As soon as my kids go to school, I will be going straight back to work!
No, not entirely. My fiance wants me to stay at home [cook, clean and such], but I don't want to quit my job. Once we are financially stable, i have agreed to go down to 3 days a week.
@oneofthesethings: In theory it sounds lovely but in reality I think I would feel pretty useless.
I'd also worry that I would be completely screwed if he ever left me. It would be hard to get a job if I wasn't in the work force for a few years.
I don't love the 9-5 thing and I would love to have a job/home business etc that let me have more time at home or away from the traditional office setting, but staying at home doing nothing I would probably go stir crazy.
I'd go crazy, bore myself to death and then shrivel up and die. lol. But I currently kind of am :/ Desperately looking for a job though?
No way, I'd get so bored! Also you might as well make as much money to save up as you can now - even if your second income is just fun money! I can't imagine having gone through all the school I did and not using my degrees!
I'd consider being a SAHM or working part time then but while I have no kids I might as well. I love my job, going to work and interacting with my coworkers.
I'm currently a stay at home fiancee, but it's not by choice. I just graduated and now I'm applying for jobs, just haven't found anything yet. Hopefully soon, although it's a bit slow right now what with Christmas and everything.
I'd love to be able to be a stay at home mom when we have kids (though that won't happen because Vancouver is too expensive), but I don't really like being a stay at home fiancee. I feel so useless. I want to contribute!
No. I love my job and I love the independence that comes with contributing outside the home. I'm also not spending 5 years in grad school jumping through hoops to stay at home lol.
I think being a SAHW is putting yourself in a very vulnerable position. I saw what happened to my mom when my dad divorced her and she had not worked in 23 years. There is no circumstance under which I would put myself in that position. Way too wrapped up in having my own firm career foundation to hold myself up with.
No way. Several years back I was laid off. I was bored out of my skull! I could only clean so much - and then what? I crafted some, looked for jobs, ran errands. I felt like my mind was turning to mush. I hated it. I had no mental stimulation. Plus, I started resenting my life, my husband, everything. I felt like all there was for me to do was clean, do laundry, etc. And there's WAY more to life than that! I missed my job, I missed my work friends.
I've always said - even if I was independently wealthy and didn't have to work, I still would. I enjoy it.
I would be bored silly if I didn't at least have something part time. Plus what if something worst case happened, like he was fired, injured and couldn't work, died, etc. or if we split. It'd be one thing if we had kids, but for now I can't see any reason why I would not work if I am able to.
NO NO NO!!
I don't even intend on being a SAHM!!! We've already discussed what will happen when we have kids and he will quit work! I own more and I love my job, absolutely no chance of me sitting about at home!!
I am currently a SAH girlfriend (soon to be fiancee) and I'm going crazy. I moved cross country to be with my SO and have been job searching to no avail. I'm signing up to volunteer, and have a few projects in the meantime because like GFerg mentioned, I feel like my brain is turning to mush!
I always wanted to be in a situation where I could have the choice to be a SAHM, but even then I'd like to own a business, or have some way to contribute, because I live in Southern California and it's so expensive..so something with flexibility at least.
Sometimes I think it sounds fun, but I love my job and I would be really stressed out knowing that I could be contributing to our savings, retirement, and debt repayment and was choosing not to.
I basically was for a few months after college before securing my first job. I was bored out of my mind and was thrilled to get a job and be able to put some money towards the rent, I felt guilty every month my FI had to pay himself, even if he could afford it.
I would gladly be a stay at home MOM, if I could ever afford to do that and still live the lifestyle I would like to live, but that's not viable. Also, as a PP said, in today's world it can be dangerous to be a fulltime SAHM and be out of the job market for long, you never know when circumstances may change and you may need to work later, but won't be able to find a good job since your resume isn't current. Even my mom who is in an amazing 31 year marriage with my dad has told me to never stop working, even if it's parttime. She's seen too many friends go destitute after divorces because of this.
I don't see the point. I totally understand being a SAHM because that is a job, but what in the world do you do all day as a SAHW? You would go out of your mind with boredom.
@ellebeerob: Hey those shows she's watching might be serious lol.
@atlbride2013: I'm a stay at home/live in fiance, and I love it. Then again, ever since I was little, I always said I just wanted to find someone who would let me stay home, cook and do my hobbies.
I love the fact that I'm not really financially responsible for anything, but I get the perks of living on my own. Plus I never have to use the excuse of "no time" for the gym, cooking things from scratch, or getting the house clean.
I guess technically I'm a stay at home wife. We have a farm. I do the farm thing all day. If you want to call me lazy, go for it, but I'm sure I do more work than most people do in a day.
I would never. I totally get being a SAHM, as that is a job in and of itself, plus you provide utility to your family. I would feel totally worthless if I chose not to work for no reason. Work builds self esteem and gives one a purpose. I also think it would severely mess with our relationship dynamic. Right now, money and chores are 50/50. I would feel like his dependent rather than his partner. As an aside, I would be totally sketched if my FI suggested/was okay with this. Seems kind of isolating and controlling to me.
No way. I worked damn hard for my education and achievements, I'm not going to waste them sitting at home playing June Cleaver. Now, once I have children I have expressed to SO (who may be FI very very soon!) that I would prefer to be a SAHM until they are in school, but as soon as they are old enough to ride the big yellow bus I am getting my butt back in the workplace. I've got far too much I want to accomplish on my own before we have kids to be a SAHW/FI/SO, though I have immense respect for SAHMs.
I work part time, so I consider myself a part time SAHW. I love taking care of the house and running errands and cooking dinner. Luckily DH likes the idea of be staying home to take care of things. Financially, we can afford for me to work part time, but if we couldn't I wouldn't have a problem working full time.
Once we have kids, as long as we're able, I'll be a SAHM, at the most I'll keep my part time job.
@pecanpie: Well I think working from home is not the same as being a SAHW - I mean, lots of people work from home. And I'm sure that working on a farm is harder than most people's jobs!
Absolutely! I hate my job and the things that I am passionate about in life really do not pay anything. If I could be a SAHW I would use the time to keep our house in order, cook healthy meals and TBH I would probably spend a majority of my time volunteering at the local animal shelter as well as museums & theatres. These are things that that I have always wanted to do, but just don't have the time after 40+ hours of working and 12+ hours of commuting every week.
No way. However, I would love to work just part time, and I will be once our baby is born. I would love to be a SAHM, but I don't think it's possible for us - DH is very money conscious and likes us to be very comfortable.
@Mrs. Coyote: +1 for animals! I love being a SAHW with a house and a yard because it lets us do foster care for rescues. The hardest part of the job is not getting attached lol.
I will be a SAHW. He owns his own business and likes to wake up in the morning and decide to fly across the country for the day. If I work, I can't join him. We also have a pre-nup that will keep me comfortable if the marriage ends.
@housebee: Oh that's wonderful! We would love to foster furbabies one day as DH works from home full-time and would be around to take care of the little monsters. ;) Unfortunately we don't have the space right now, but we are looking to buy a home with a large yard in the next few years! :)
I'm currently a stay at home FI, but it's not my choice. I had a job, but they didn't want to work with my school schedule. I was going to finish this semester out and then try to work next semester, but my clinical schedule is 4 days a week from 7:30am to 4pm and then I have other classes on the other day and I need some time to study. Once I finish school and pass my registry I'm going to work full time. FH will make decent money after he finishes, but I never planned to stay at home. There might come a time when I go to part time work or something, but I don't ever intend to not work. While we could live comfortably on FH's salary alone and we plan to combine most of our finances, I like to spend the money I make myself on things that I want for myself. I wouldn't feel ok with buying myself a new outfit with the money FH worked for.
I was for quite a few months when I was unemployed and honestly, it wasn't as fun as people make it seem. It's fun to play hooky here and there, but to stay home day after day is actually quite boring, especially if everyone else you know works. I also hate cleaning so that wasn't actually something I wanted to do on a daily/weekly basis.
We know someone who is very wealthy and was a SAHW and now a SAHM. She was bored out of her skull every day and her DH worked constantly. She shopped on a daily basis and all the salespeople knew her by name. However, even when you are ridiculously rich, it gets boring buying stuff literally every day.
oh i totally would be one. i'm not that ambitious :)
and i'm kind of a creative/domestic type, so i'm sure i would occupy myself by decorating, cooking, writing, reading, etc. as well as cleaning, of course. and, um, sleeping till 8 AM.
however, silly me decided to go to med school 10 years ago and now I have a massive amount of student loans to pay back.
but, i actually don't understand you all feel you would be bored! it blows my mind! i could SOO easily fill the time, it's not even funny :)
I did the "SAHW" thing for about six months because I couldn't find a job. In some ways it was nice- being able to keep everthing clean, cook good meals, etc. But I was bored and very unhappy 90% of the time! I felt like I didn't contribute to anything.
Now that I work full-time, there are days when I would love to stay home, but I can't put myself in that position again. Too miserable.
Plus, we love having the extra money and I like being able to buy things for myself guilt-free...
I will be shortly. We are moving to be closer to Mr. Aardvark's work (we're currently commuting almost an hour in opposite directions everyday). It will only be for a short time since in April I will go from SAHW to SAHM.
I am really looking forward to it. As it is now, I have a decent job but financially, it is not doing much to change our bottom line as a household. The work is OK but honestly I send a fair bit of time being less than productive (ooops weddingbee). I feel like I will be able to accomplish so much more from home.
Between keeping the house, preparing real food, gardening, working out, getting ready for baby and crafting I am not worried about being bored. I have big plans for a fruit and vegitable garden in our new yard. I think part of the reason that is so appealing to me is because by tending to that, I would be bringing something in not just consuming what DH buys us.
I think like anything, being a SAHW is what you make it. If the plan was to sit around and watch soaps I would rather work. But if I look at it as a job and put as much effort into it as I would a paid job, I believe (and hope) it will be totally fulfilling.
I totally would! I have spent all of our relationship pretty much being the bread winner... I would jump at the chance!! But I would want to start making babies though! LOL.
I could never do it. I would never want to put all the pressure on my husband to provide for both of us. Even if he made enough money that that wasn't an issue, why should I work to keep busy? It means we would have more money to save/invest/take vacations, and it would keep me from being bored.
SAHM I get, because that is a lot of work while the kids are young. But there is not enough stuff to do around the house for me to think it's a full time job without kids.
Ideally we'd both be early-retired already. Neither of us tend get bored when not told what to do. On the contrary, we have SO MUCH we want to do and not enough time to do it all.
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