SAHW/SAHM do people give you trouble?

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Hostess
14997 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is your mom not paying the mortgage with the money? You might want to check into that. What about the taxes? 

Nobody gives me crap about being a stay at home wife. Most of the people we know have been, would be, or would prefer to be/have a stay at home wife. Your brother needs to keep his nose out of your relationship, it’s really none of his business. You’ve made decisions for your family and he is welcome to make decisions for his family. 

Post # 3
Member
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

allyfally:  First off all, this is NONE of your brother’s business. If you or husband have not asked for his help or opinion, he is irrelevant in this situation. I am 21 weeks pregnant and I guess I could be classified as a SAHW. I was working full-time, but my husband and I decided to relocate to another state for his job. The job market here is terrible, and after looking for months, we have decided to just hold off on me working until our sweet baby is here. I, personally, have not received any negativity over our decision for me to stay home, and COULD NOT care less what people feel about it. I figure that as long as we are supporting ourselves, people need to mind their own business. 

As for your mom, I think that you should talk to her about losing the house and see if there is any validity to that story. Hope it all works out! 🙂

Post # 5
Hostess
14997 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

allyfally:  you need to talk to her and find out about the house. That part is your concern or you could come home one day and find an eviction notice. Maybe make arrangements to pay the mortgage and property taxes directly. Mortgage companies don’t care who the check is from as long as you send the account information. 

If your brother brings up you not working again, simply tell him it’s none of his business and if he mentions it again your going to end the conversation. It’s not easy because it’s your brother but you have to set limits and keep to them. I just don’t understand that meddling mentality.

Post # 6
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

If I were a stay at home mom I’m sure my family would be fine with that, but I think I would get loads of shit if I were going to be a stay at home wife. 

I wouldn’t want to be a stay at home wife though just because I get stir crazy and I would be so bored. There isn’t enough to do here to make me being home all day valid

Post # 8
Member
12781 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think being a SAHM is very different from being a SAHW.  Honestly, I could not understand being a SAHW unless we were very wealthy and had zero money concerns what so ever, beyond just paying the bills and having a little left over.  However, I couldn’t care less what someone chooses to do and would never openly question their choices unless they were complainig to me about money, in which case I admit I’d have to roll my eyes and quesiton their choice to not work.  But it sounds like your brother is just butting in so I’d just ignore it and or tell him to mind his own buisness.

Post # 10
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

allyfally:  I think it comes down to different lifestyles, as most things do. I only work part time though, so I am usually home when he gets home from work and I have enough time between working to do most things that need to be done around here. But I enjoy that occasionally when I am not home, when I come home my FI has cooked dinner for me, or cleaned the house or whatever. Its a nice trade off. 

I’m not trying to argue that you shouldnt be a stay at home wife or anything, so please don’t get that impression from my post. I am just of that mindset where I couldn’t be, and I think a lot of people are of that mindset, so I can see the perspective of why people might have problems with it. Not saying its right, but I can see where it comes from and I can say in my situation if I did choose that for myself I would DEFINITELY get shit from my family for it. 

That said, if you are planning on getting a job before your baby comes, your brother is sort of right in that the longer you are unemployed the harder it will be to find a job when you want one. Add to that most employers arent super keen on hiring pregnant women.

Post # 11
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

allyfally:  If your husband is OK with it then your brother needs to mind his own business. Is there a reason you don’t want to work?

Post # 13
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper

allyfally:  Sour grapes! The people who are going to give you the most crap are probably the ones that would most like to be in your position. I’d LOVE to not have to work and go to school for what I want. I am totally not one of those people who are like “I could never be a SAHW/M, I’d get so bored.” Not me. There is so much I’d fill my time with.

You do you, and let everyone else worry about themselves. 

Post # 14
Member
8666 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

No one cares I’m a STAW. In fact, a lot of people take advantage of it, I don’t mind, though. I’m always the first to call for house or pet sitting and if there’s ever an emergency (Like when our friend’s house alarm went off when they were 3,000 miles away) I am always free to check it out, or pick them up from the airport, or whatnot.

 

 

I have lots to do, and am never bored. This situation works out best for my husband and I and we haven’t heard anything negative about it. His parents asked me if I was going to work and initially I intended to, but I didn’t intend for my husband to deploy so much, so our time together was precious.

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Post # 15
Member
6621 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m a SAHM and no one gives me crap. But something doesn’t seem right with your brother and mom- I’d hate for you to get evicted when youve been giving your mom the money.

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