Post # 1
When reflecting on the wedding day everything seemed wonderful as a whole. Everything came together, our closest family and friends were there, we laughed until we cried, and most of all we got married!
But now, while going over the pictures I hate every single one of them it seems. They aren’t the professional ones (which I pick up today) but oh my goodness I just hate the way I looked in them.
Now back about 4-5 years ago I was really overweight. I was averaging over 200lbs and then I got pregnant. I had my daughter and after she was born I got serious about losing weight and lost close to 90 pounds. With that weight loss came some body issues I wont lie. My biggest insecurity and the only thing I ever had an issue with after the weight loss though was my abdomen. I had/have a lot of extra skin and this pooch that no ammount of exercise can seem to help. So on the wedding day I was armed. I had a bra with a built in girdle, the slip which helped to pull in the belly and I wore an actual girdle underneath. Everything I could do to make the pooch unnoticeable. But apparently I didn’t do enough.
My God mother asked me right after the wedding if I was pregnant. Said I looked pregnant in the dress and that her and her whole table had a bet going on me being pregnant! A day where I’m supposedly supposed to feel beautiful and now I can’t look at any of my pictures without seeing the pooch. As a point of refrence, here is a pic of me in the dress
So now I don’t like looking at the pictures because I feel like I look overweight and pregnant in all of the pictures and am nitpicking the details. If an entire table was betting on me being pregnant, obviously I didn’t look as good as I thought.
And another thing that really irks me now thinking back on the wedding day… Our pastor approached me while we were getting ready. During the ceremony we were set to have a native american vase ceremony and my aunt was going to say a native american prayer after the vase ceremony. Something I picked out for her to read.
Well the pastor approached me and said it had been bothering him all morning that she was going to say the prayer and he didn’t even know what they prayer said. Said he didn’t feel right letting her say a prayer during the ceremony and asked if she could perform the vase ceremony instead. I agreed to her doing the vase ceremony and all turned out well but I’m a bit offended that he would assume that the prayer I chose for her to read would go against anything with the church as I am an active member of the church and would not bring something against the church into the church. And we had discussed the prayer for months with him before the wedding and he never had a problem until the day of the wedding. It’s made me think different to an extent of our pastor. And it makes me sad to think that just because it was a Native American prayer he did not want it in his church. Native Americans are often times Christians as well but I guess he missed that memo.
So other than these things everything was great with the wedding. A few mishaps but that’s to be expected. But now those two things seem to carry on after the wedding, I can’t look at the pictures without feeling hefty and thinking I looked bad at the wedding, and I lost some respect for my pastor who I am going to sit through and listen to today.
Anyone else have any rude or offensive comments during their wedding?
Post # 3
@kris325: congrats you’re married ! Definitely don’t look pregnant! you looked beautiful 100% TRUE!! Losing 90 lbs is quite an accomplishment way to go! I can relate to you regarding the after effects of losing a bunch of weight. I myself lost 65lbs after I had my daughter 17 years ago. loose skin, stretch marks etc…I was hell bent on getting surgery and ready to pull the trigger but realized the money would be put to better use in an investment account for my daughters college education. glad I did that she’ll be needing that money next year:) Chin up, continue your healthy lifestyle and be happy!
Post # 4
All I can say is if thats the picture where you look the most pregnant then you have nothing to worry about! You look lovely. And congratulations on the weight loss!
Post # 5
I think who ever made those comments should be ashamed of themselves! You look absoluely beautiful… and NOT PREGNANT! Yes there is a little bit of a belly (we all have one) but if your tummy is as bad as you say it is, you cannot tell at all! Untill i really has a good long hard look I honestly thought that you had a beautiful hourglass figure like beyonc’e 🙂 As a mummy of two, I can honestly say that your tummy never gets that washboard look again anyway.. well mine hasnt.. I now have a permanent little pot belly thatt always looks like i need a good fart or very over due for my monthlies… my hip bones have actually widened 3 inches since before having my babies too!
I think you (and your girdles) have done a great job in making you look like nothing but a stunning bride! Your stomach has lovely smooth lines and there is no obvious siign of a bump or little tummy fold that you see on alot of women who have lost a great amount of weight or had babies. You have a lovely narrow waist, which you dont have when pregnant; toned arms and shoulders and above all, you look so happy!!
I’m not married yet, but I would honestly be thrilled to bits if looked as beautiful as you do on your wedding day.
Post # 6
I think you looked beautiful. The person who said that is classless.
Post # 7
‘are you pregnant?’ still rates as the least tactful and sensitive thing to say to a woman unless you are sure she is preggo. Really, this is a such a mean and distasteful comment to make.
You looked stunning and most women have a belly. I have one, all my friends have one. You certainly are not the owner of a belly that should lead to pregnancy suspicions. Ignore and love your photos. No need to dwell on comments that are so incredibly needlessly mean.
Post # 8
I hated my pictures too, for the same reasons. After about 5 months I was able to look at them again and not hate them. I feel like you only need 4 or 5 good ones that you will actually display anyway. I know this doesn’t help you today, but several of my friends have had this problem too, and time seems to help. good luck!
Post # 9
Ugh some people! You look stunning and absolutely not pregnant.
We tend to be our own worst critics. I know I looked at my wedding pictures and nth ought that I must be walking around with a massive double chin without knowing it. Nope. I do something wierd with my neck for pictures. Never realized that.
But seriously, you looked fantastic. People can be so insensitive. I think too, because its a wedding, guests tend to like to speculate about future pregnancy and for some bizarre reason feel that it is some how appropriate to ask such a question that they may otherwise not in normal day to day conversation. I lost track of how many times we were asked “so when do we get to see some babies?” Umm…the ink isn’t even dry on our marriage certificate so butt off!
Post # 10
@kris325: wow you were a stunning bride!! Your godmother and her entourage were completely ridiculous and absolutely tactless to say anything. You look killer in that dress!!!
Post # 11
What a crazy,ridiculous thing to say. I would be really hurt that a table of people were talking about me like that, people are so dumb sometimes. After she told me that, I would have said “What a mean, hurtful thing to say. I’m not pregnant, and that was very rude of all of you.” I think you look curvy and lovely in your dress. Christina Hendricks is one of the sexiest women alive, and she doesn’t have a washboard stomach either, but still looks dang good. And so do you! And definitely not pregnant.
Post # 12
Ugh. I just despise that your family members said that to you on your big day, especially after everything they know you had to go through to get that weight off. By the way, congratulations on that. Weight loss for health or personal betterment is a big accomplishment…
However, we women are too harsh on our bodies. Everyone is shaped differently, and rarely, even the healthiest/fittest of women have perfectly flat stomachs. We do have organs and stuff in there. 😉
You were so stunning, and the dress was lovely. Don’t let them take that way from you. Look how happy you look!
Post # 14
I would have loved to have your body on my wedding day!
Post # 15
“…obviously I didn’t look as good as I thought”
Right…I’d say you looked BETTER than you thought. I seriously hope you are able to take a few steps back, reflect on how YOU felt on your wedding day, and then take another look at those pictures. You look gorgeous! Your hair! Your smile! Those arms! The dress hugs in all the right places and looks wonderful on you. Don’t let some self conscious ninny take away from your big day.
I’ll also ditto what others said: I HOPE I can have your body on my wedding day!
Post # 16
Oh hun! You look amazing and womanly and (most importantly) FIT. That’s quite awful of your godmother to say. I have aunties who do the same and think they’re being helpful, and I totally get how much it bothers you. I hope everyone’s responses on this thread make those thoughts go away.