Post # 1
My guy and I met at work. Happens to lots of people, no?
Almost three years later, we still work together, and in many ways, it’s wonderful. One thing that isn’t so wonderful, however, is dealing with successes and failures. I make more $$ than him, and I have generally had more success on the job than he has. Overall, he is incredibly supportive and celebrates my successes and commiserates with me when I fail. I also celebrate his successes with him, but–and I hate to say this–he has not had as many. It is difficult because he prides himself in his work, and he is very dedicated to the job–perhaps more so than I am. And yet, the job is easier for me and comes more naturally to me. I know my Fiance often struggles with comparing his own job performance to mine. I, then, struggle with comforting him, and feel guilty for my own successes (some of which are, I admit, lucky rather than totally deserved.) Anyone else ever been in a situation like this? What can/should you do to work through these situations?
Post # 3
I haven’t been in the same situation but I guess its loosely similar. My Fiance and I both studied forensic psych and we now both do social work (so, we’re not using our undergrad degrees at all… score :/). We met in college but when we graduated I was able to find a great job first. A year later I got him the job he now currently has. He was making less at first but he’s been busting his butt and has gotten a zillion raises. He makes more and we’re both happy about it. I’d rather it traditional in that sense. It all happens to work out well because we work in the same building with some of the same people but we’re not next to each other all day. And we can car pool, yay environment 🙂
Post # 4
Ohhh hard situation! Our circumstances aren’t quite the same, but when he started college for Graphic Design, I was working activly as a graphic designer. (and had been for three years.) I have been trained in fine arts since i was 4 or 5, and had extensive work experience in my fields by the time he’d just started in college. He’s extremely creative, but didn’t have much formal training until college.
It was an “issue” at first, because he would say something quite definitively that he heard in class, and I would say “But clients don’t always want that.” Commence arguments. Our first huge blowout argument was about the definition of trompe-l’oiel.
Fortunately, my passion lies in painting and photography, and have since been able to shift my career focus, so I’m not stepping on his toes (he’s exceeded me in Graphic Design, anyway, mostly because he’s much more interested in it and passionate about it.), and we’re both much more content in our jobs.
I hope that it works out for you, it can definitely be the cause of tension.
Post # 5
my Fiance and I are both chemists within the same field of chemistry no less. He has his PhD and I am a year from finishing mine. I used to compare myself to him all the time early in grad school because he was 2 years ahead of me (and still do sometimes!) but realized that he knows more than me because he’s had more experience. But it’s been really nice as I’m getting ready to finish my degree because we are closer to the same level with different expertises dependent on the research topic. I guess we deal with it by not comparing ourselves to eachother but instead relish in the fact that we can communicate so easily with each other about our work where we can’t do that with just anyone else. And it helps that our career paths are so different – he wants to continue doing research as a faculty member or in the chemical industry and I want to do IP law!
Post # 6
I am in the same situations! we didnt really meet through work however we worked for the same company doing the same thing. We might at my birthday dinner with co workers which were mutual friends. Since then we both have moved up recently our companies had some lay offs and changing. well he was one of the ones that got demoted (same pay different job title). Recently, i have been wanting to move up within the same company and he is thrilled for me however he knows i will be making more money and my title will be above his. he started looking for new jobs but in the economy it is tough. we love working for the same company and its great so we can schedule vacation together and talk about anything going on.
What we do is just talk about where we see ourselves in the future. our goals and help each other strive for success. it is working so far and we have no jealous spats. we always say we are doing this for OUR future…
Post # 7
Thank you all for your responses and insight. I really appreciate it.
It’s tough to work together, but thank you also for reminding me about all the totally awesome things that come with working together… Eating lunch together, helping each other with job stuff, commiserating, getting the same days off, etc. Guess life could be worse 🙂