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a friend of mine did her bachelorette at the teatro zanzinni (sp?) show which is downtown on the way to pier 39..they had a really good time (though I didn't get to make it).
i would go up to napa for the day and do wine tastings (there are lots of companies that you can hire to drive you around) and maybe go to a spa.
in the city, i don't know so much about clubs, but you're right that the bar scene around union square can be kind of sketch (although bourbon and branch is close, and has the benefit that you reserve space so it's not too crowded). For wine I also like yield, in the dogpatch, and bar bambino in the mission. Beretta has great cocktails and pizza, and with six or more people they will let you make a reservation. Velvet Cantina and Elixer are also good cocktails choice in the Mission.
The biggest concentration of stuff, though, would probably be in SOMA, which is a short taxi ride from downtown - District and Press Club come to mind as good options for a lowkey party. I don't know that area as well, though.
There are lots of great bars, restaurants, and clubs in San Francisco. Asia SF is a popular choice for bachelorette parties: http://www.asiasf.com/index.php. Also, if most of the girls are not SF natives, you may want to start off with drinks and appetizers at a place with a great view, i.e., Beach Chalet, Grand Hyatt bar, or Top of the Mark.
Beach Blanket Babylon is a fun and campy evening out. And it is in North Beach, which I think is where some clubs are. I don't go into SF that often, but I do know that my friends who like to go to clubs tend to go to the ones in the Castro area.
The Clift Hotel is also really modern and chic. It has Asia de Cuba to eat at and the Redwood Room to drink in a loungey atmosphere.
I used to work at Teatro ZinZanni and would also recommend it, although it's a very pricey evening. Definitely bring feather boas for everyone and get your faces painted.
The Supperclub is also an amazing venue- dinner served in bed! Plus, it turns into a clubby scene in the wee hours.
I've been to a bachelorette party where we had dinner at Cha cha cha in the Mission (tapas and sangria). It was a fun atmosphere and not too pricey. There are also some bars within walking distance in the Mission District.
Thanks, guys! As a note, that friend decided that she didn't want to do a traditional bachelorette party after all :((( But this will be really useful for MY party later on :-D And also just fun weekends.
@kitimana - I was at Cha Cha Cha in the mission a few weeks ago. It was super fun and delicious... I was very sad I had to drive home afterwards and had to lay off the sangria.
I'm in the Bay Area, and I plan on having my bachelorette party in Calistoga, just north of Napa. A group of us will head up there for the weekend and sit by the pool, drink wine, etc. It'll be a more low key and relaxing weekend. :)
Napa would be great for bachelorette activities. There's also a place somewhere on the peninsula that does pole dancing classes - I can't remember the name but I'm sure you can google it if you're interested.
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My best friend is flying out from New York to have her bachelorette party in San Francisco (a lot of our friends live in CA, so this is more convenient for them especially since they're flying east for the wedding). Being her maid of honor and in the area, I'm putting together the party. BUT I have only lived here a little while AND live out in the burbs and don't go out in the city much. So I am hoping the local hive can help me out.
Does anyone have suggestions for places to go/area to stay in? Fun, not-too-loud, interesting bars / restaurants? She's probably going to rent a hotel room for a couple of nights, but it seems most hotels are in the downtown/financial district area which in my experience has been kind of sad nightlife-wise.