Post # 1
I am having my wedding on a Saturday night in early November of this year. We are having trouble deciding on the scheduling of events. My Rabbi said the ceremony can’t start until 8:30pm due to Shabbat ending at 6:45pm and allowing him to drive a hour to our venue. Is 8:30pm too late for a ceremony? Also has anyone had a cocktail hour before the ceremony and how does that look to others? Also- how do I not see my fiance during the cocktail hour- or could we both attend the cocktail hour. ( I would not be in my wedding gown at that time.)
If we did the cocktail hour 1st- how does this schedule sound:
7-8pm- Cocktail Hour
8-9pm- Wedding Ceremony
9-1am- Reception and Dinner
Also is 1am too late to end a wedding? The hotel has a 5 hour package for reception that includes the cocktail hour.
Post # 3
i think in your case, you may want to consider throwing some tradition out the window. i am also being a bad jew and doing a saturday night wedding, but we aren’t getting married by a rabbi, so we have more flexibility. =)
in your case, i would bend the rules a bit and see hubbs before the wedding…doing a first look or something of the sort. i love your idea to do cocktail hour before the ceremony, and the good thing about jewish ceremonies is that we know how to keep them nice and short!
Post # 4
That is a tricky situation! Personally, I have not heard of a wedding ceremony being so late, but that is a great idea to have the cocktail hour beforehand. Otherwise people would be starving! A lot of times, the bride and groom take pictures during the cocktail hour so they do not attend it. If you are comfortable with it, you can take “First Look” pictures and then do all the family/wedding party pictures. I don’t think you should go to the cocktail hour because guests love getting to see the bride in her dress for the first time and it might take some of the magic away if they see you beforehand. But if you really want to be at the cocktail hour, I say don’t wear your wedding dress!
Good luck with the planning!
Post # 5
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
In traditional Jewish weddings (usually Conservative or Orthodox), the bride and groom will always see each other before the wedding to do the bedeken – veiling. This can be done during the cocktail and attended by all or some of your guests, or done in private with a small group. We did our cocktail hour first and invited all the guests for these traditions for the first hour, and then had the ceremony. It is unlikely that your ceremony will be an hour long, unless you are factoring time for people to get from one space to another. I would talk to your Rabbi – s/he may not be willing to officiate a wedding if it starts before sundown at all, unless that is not an issue because it will be sundown, it’s just a matter of the rabbi traveling. Is is possible for the Rabbi to spend Shabbat closer? I’m linking to my posts on the blog about our cocktail hour, in case you’re interested in how we did it. People saw me in my dress and it was very powerful, even then, and again at the ceremony.
L’Chaim is for Lovers: Marriage License and Ketubah Signing
L’Chaim is for Lovers: Bedekin – Veiling and Kippah-ing
There are many more that show the whole morning, if you’re interested
Post # 6
Thanks everyone… We have decided that we are going to have the cocktail hour 1st…. I will be in the bridal suite with my bridal party during that time… I want to suprise everyone with my dress at the ceremony:-)