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I have a hard time with the idea of spending buckets of money on one day ... so I would (and will be) having the wedding we can afford next summer, because there are so many bigger things I would rather (and have) spent my money on (new house, new car, laptop computer) ... we we want to get on with having babies ...
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I vote wait and save. True, a wedding is just one day, but it's a very important day. Better to make it one that you look back and remember fondly, rather than regretting your choices years down the line. Plus, it will give you more time to plan which means you can get the vendors you want and fill the day with special details.
I would probably have a wedding that I could afford. I'd wait 2 years top from being engaged, personally. Any longer and I'd go nuts, but I would of course want a nice wedding too!
i voted wait and save..... FI and I are waiting because we are footing the bill and would like a nice wedding
i voted now and what you can afford - reason being i was ready to begin my life with my FI NOW and wouldnt like the idea of waiting for a year or so
but then again 1, money isnt too much of an issue for us and 2, we eloped so im not most brides here on WB
How important is an expensive wedding to you? Are you someone who has been dreaming of a big, fancy wedding since you were a little girl, or are you the kind of girl who would prefer a small, intimate affair? Try to picture yourself in 5 years, perhaps with some kids, and think about whether you are more likely to regret not having an expensive wedding or are you the kind of person who will eventually wish you had spent that money for a down payment on a house? Unfortunately, only you and your FI can decide this one since it is your priorities that will affect your memories of your wedding day.
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Well, it depends. I could have a "platinum wedding" in 5 years or so, but that's absurd! We'll have a perfectly nice wedding next year. But we can't afford to have one, say, next month.
Is your dream wedding something out of a "Platinum Weddings" episode, or is it something you could save for in a reasonable amount of time? I think you have to weigh how much you can save against how long you want to wait.
We're waiting, and for financial reasons, but we could afford the wedding we want now ($5000 budget, and our estimates are coming in under budget)...just not all the stuff afterwards (rent/mortgage, groceries, etc.). We both still live with our parents rent-free, and can (and will) until we graduate from university (three more years!), so we're waiting and saving. But not because we want a $50K wedding -- because we want to be able to be financially stable for afterwards.
I said now with what you can afford as well, but as there is an amount of planning involved it may still be 6 months or so out so you can save a tad bit of money with that. It isn't about the wedding day, it's about the union of two souls into one. In the end that's really all that matters no matter if you spend 100,000 or 1000. Remind of this when I get engaged!!
My fiance and I have been talking a lot about this lately. I'm unemployed and his job is kind of in limbo but we've decided that no matter what, we are getting married this year. Whether we continue with the wedding we are planning in September or just decided to just have a quick ceremony in his parents backyard and no reception-we just want to be married. Now. And start having babies next year ;)
This is tough, depending on what you like... and how much money you have saved up for a NOW wedding.
If your not a crazy spender and dont want to spend lots of money on your wedding, than maybe this is a reason for you to do it now. You can DIY and lots of brides have had less than 10K weddings.
I waited though, but thats cuz Mr.Flamingo was in school the whole time.
For us, we couldn't justify spending all that money on a few hours, especially in this economy and with both of us being teachers. Instead we went ahead with the budget we had and allocated 50% to the wedding, 30% to our honeymoon, and 20% to savings. No regrets. Shoot, we couldn't even wait until summer vacation!
there's so many ways to save and still have your dream wedding, i'm living it right now, and i would hate the idea of waiting another year or more just because i want more money to spend on wedding details.
I didn't vote because I want to be married, I love my FI so much. However, wedding's do cost money, so during our engagement we have been saving like crazy. We splurged on some aspects, but cut corners on others. I could save forever if I wanted everything under the sun, I think most people could, I'm just happy I get to have some things and get to marry the man I love.
I vote neither. I think you can have the wedding you want right now. You just have to be really creative.
I also think if you had asked me this two years ago, right before we got engaged, I would have said wait. However, now that I've been planning for a year and a half, I KNOW there are ways to have an amazing wedding on a budget. Just splurge on two things or so that you must have (for us, it was venue and photography), and cut back on everything else (we're not having lavish centerpieces, a DJ or fancy bouquets and bouts). It's amazing how your perspective can change once you realize what's out there, and really, once you start planning, you'll realize that if you have two things you love, all the rest becomes unimportant.
We're having the wedding we can afford right now, and I have no regrets, and I'm getting everything that's important to me.
I'd set aside what i was comfortable spending and leave it at that.
Sure you can always save more....but the wedding is one day. You can spend that extra money on a house. You know, the home you build together as husband and wife. And to me, that would take priority.
But, that's the cut and dry of it. I'd find a way to make my budget work with what I want.
We probably could have waited longer and tried to save more money. It's not that we had to sacrifice too much to have the wedding that we did, but I think it would have allowed us to do a couple of extra things that we didn't have room for in our budget. We went back and forth a little, but ultimately, we didn't want to wait any longer to get married! Sure, we compromised a little, but I wouldn't have had it any other way.
I understand why couples have long engagements and save for their day. That said the last thing I wanted was a long engagement. When we get married in two months we'll have been engaged a little over a year. We are having a lovely wedding. It's not the wedding of my dreams, but I also didn't want to be paying off the wedding for the first year of our marriage.
I think it all depends on your situation. FH and I have been LD the majority of the relationship. My parents are more old fashioned (I am a little too) and prefer I don't permanently move-in with him until we are married. We couldn't be sure how soon I would get a job after grad school (and as it turns out I'm still looking) and so I spend about half my time living with the parents and half the time living with FH (though it feels like I really live in my car, haha).
While I would prefer to save and wait we are very tired of being LD and so are having the wedding we can afford now. I can't complain a whole lot though since both sets of parents are helping to pay for it. FH just has a large family so there are lots of people to invite.
I voted for have the wedding you can afford now. IMO you get engaged to be married, not to be interminably engaged and have a fairytale blowout. There are tons of ways to compromise and make it work. :)
I agree completely with what Chelseamorning said. You're having a wedding in order to get married. if you're sure this is the right person, than the right thing to get married.
Besides the fact that I believe in waiting to live and sleep together until marriage and there is not point in waiting 5 years for that if you know you've found the right person.
A wedding is a fun amazing day where you declare your love to eachother, make a covenant promise with eachother and then celebreate with your closes friends and family at the biggest party you'll ever throw. It's still an amazing day with or without 2 years of savings to get there!
I'm with LatteLove! I also am waiting to live together and T and I don't sleep together when the kids are around at all (unless my son is gone to his dad's house for a day or so).
I'll prob save a few months for the amazing dress, but that's gonna be it.
I voted wait and save. If we didn't do that we would have had a courthouse ceremony with just a few ppl because that's all we could afford. I don't think there is anything wrong with having a courthouse ceremony but it is just not what we want. So we are saving some money, but also don't want to spend a ton of money on one day. To be fair we are also saving for other future investments not just the wedding. We are currently saving for wedding/honeymoon, house, and even future kids.
If my FH and I were paying for our wedding, it would have already taken place at the courthouse in Tribeca and we would have onlly invited our parents for a nice steak dinner. I actually suggested that to my Mom when we got engaged and she wouldn't have it. Everyone is different, that's just what I would have done.
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Would you wait and save money for the wedding that you want or would you just have the wedding you can afford right now?