Save the Date and Invitation help

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Hi @Tallulah_:  Lol, I am a bit of an Etiquette Snob here on WBee… in so much as I know too much about all the Rules of Etiquette (and how to break them gingerly)

Before I help you thru this…

You’ll want to start the process first by considering if STDs are even necessary…  I just did a post for another Bee that can be found here =

Read that, determine YES or NO… and have you covered the 4 MUST KNOWS BEFORE SENDING STDS and then I’ll reply to the Questions you have above.


Post # 5
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Well you are about 7 months out now…

So you can go either way… altho if it is a Long Weekend (now going to assume you are Canadian) then you’ll want to YES get the word out, be it via an STD or some other way (word of mouth – Wedding Website – Christmas Cards etc)

Lets go over some of the Wedding Basics…

The general rule of thumb is people in North America are invited to all the events… and if the Wedding is “tiered” then the rule is once you are there, you are there for the duration…

So Ceremony – Cocktail Hour & Reception Dinner – Dancing

OR Cocktail Hour & Reception – Dancing

OR Dancing

Generally speaking, you only exclude someone from the Ceremony IF you are planning to have a very small intimate Wedding Ceremony (ie a handfull of people) or the Ceremony is at another time (ie Day Before)

In so much as IF you are having a Church Wedding, you cannot really turn anyone away if they show up, as a Church is a Public Venue open to ANYONE who wishes to enter it (even other parishoners or people off the street… however that is rare)

Your STDs should only convey Date =OR= Date & Location

The Wedding Invite takes care of the rest… and a Wedding Website can cover the details

It is considered RUDE to write NO CHILDREN anywhere… the best you can do is put “Adult Reception to follow” on the bottom of your Invites… and then drive that point home by utilizing Inner Envelopes (only names of those invited appear on them)… and by creating an RSVP Card that uses the line ” X Seats have been Reserved in your Honour”

Hope this helps,

Have more Questions… ask away


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