Post # 1
When making our guest list, we asked my future in-laws to give us a list of 40 extra people outside of family. My FMIL (who wears the pants) sent a list of 60. We asked again, please limit it to 40 as we don’t want a big wedding and can’t afford it. She came back at us with reasons why she needed all 60. We then asked again. She gave us a list of 50 (not without much complaining). We asked yet again, and she gave us a list of 46. We gave in.
When it came time for Save the Dates, my FMIL decided she wanted to include boyfriends and girlfriends of cousins that we hadn’t included before. We didn’t want to fight and gave it (4 more people).
My mom was just planning my shower and asked my FMIL for a list of 20 people to invite. My FMIL gave her a list of 24 people, but since some reside at the same residence she would only need 20 invitations still (she’s conniving like that). My mother emailed her back asking to please limit it to 20. My FMIL then called her and tried to bully her into allowing her to have 24. My mother finally said “just do the best you can”. My FMIL did email back a list of 20 that night.
So NOW one of my FMIL’s friends never got their Save the Date and she’s demanding we send another one. Had all this back story not happened, I would happily send another one. However, I’m sick of her bullying and expecting her to get her way all the time with this wedding (especially since they aren’t contributing much and are occupying half of our guest list numbers).
Do we send another Save the Date and oblige her yet again, or do we use this as a chance to let her know she can’t just demand things of us constantly? I can see this maybe coming up again if an invitation gets lost in the future…
Help me, Bees!
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Say you mailed all of them and they’ll just have to wait for their invitation. Things get lost in the mail and a Save the Date is not required anyway.
Post # 3
beachbride1216: agree. Tell her it’s in the mail somewhere but if she’s concerned she can tell her friend the date/location herself.
Post # 4
Tell her you no longer have any STDs in stock and that all of them have been mailed. You are not responsible for them getting lost in transit and that the person in question will recieve an invitation when they go out.
Do not let this woman continue into having her way or you’ll be setting a very bad prescedent for the actual marriage and your interactions with her and her family.
Post # 5
Thank you beachbride1216, BluebonnetBride, and Trilly!! You’re all right, I just need to tell her there aren’t anymore to send out. Her friend already knows the date anyway (my FMIL can’t stop talking about it). Trilly – those were my thoughts exactly! We already set a bad prescendent by letting her get away with the guest list stuff already. Guess we just need to nip it in the bud now.
Thank you ladies!!!
Post # 6
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
Same thing happened to me, we got about 3 cards back. I sent them out digiatlly to those who claimed they didn’t get them. Some people said they never got them at all. I am going to verifiy the address before I send out the actual invitations. Hopefully they are all recieved.
Post # 7
Your FMIL is being ridiculous, but that’s besides the point. You agree to invite these people. You sent a STD. She probably told them one was on their way to them (or how else would they know they didn’t get it?). It would be rude of you to not send one, and would reflect poorly on you (because now they know they were supposed to get one, so they would be very confused as to why you wouldn’t just resend it).