(Closed) Save The Date Etiquette

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@born2teachuga:  1) I would just put the BLANK family. A STD was sent to my boyfriend just to his name (It was from his cousin) but when the invitation came, it had both our names on it. So I wouldn’t worry about defining who exactly is invited until the invitations. 

2) I don’t think it’s wrong to print them.

Post # 4
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I had one cousin who communicated that people were or weren’t allowed guests bu filling out the “number attending” in advance. Some people were offended by this, but if you’re too subtle people just don’t get it. 

Post # 5
986 posts
Busy bee

We’re not having a formal wedding, so I can’t help with addressing them, but I don’t see anything wrong with printing labels if your handwriting isn’t the best!

Post # 6
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I addressed mine the same way their invitations will be addressed – to the names of the couple, or if they’re allowed a guest I wrote “XXX and Guest”.


This lets them know who’s invited without being blatant about it.

Post # 7
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013 - Callanwolde Fine Arts Center

I addressed them similar to how we’ll be addressing the invitations except that I wrote “The XXX Family” instead of listing out all of the names. For single people who are allowed a guest, I wrote “XXX and Guest” like a PP mentioned.

Post # 8
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I used a nice font that I traced over with a marker. They looked nice.

I addressed the Save-The-Date Cards differently than the invites. I put Smith Family when all in the family were invited and Michelle Smith and Kevin Jones for any couples (regardless if they were living together). For those who may or maynot get a plus one  (they are in a new relationship or are single now, who knows their status in 6 months), I just put their name.

Post # 9
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We just sent ours (postcard format, but very formal wedding) last week so this is FRESH for me…

**One thing to keep in mind: the STD’s are your one chance to have a departure from the formality of the invitations AND they don’t need to match if you don’t want them to. Don’t stress over these too much. That said, EVERYONE receiving an inviation should also receive a STD.

We addressed married couples the regular way, engaged and cohabitating the regular way (Mr. X next line Ms. Y)

Single/people who we’re not 100% if they’re getting plus ones (iffy relationships, etc) just received one with their name on it. The inviations will include the actual plus one should they receive a plus one.

Children were not included on the STD cards, just the parents. The only children were in our family, so we were able to communicate easily to the parents that the kids are invited, just not present on the STD’s.

Printing them out: Sure, I don’t see a problem with them not being hand-calligraphied. I pulled up Little Days font on the computer and meticulously hand wrote them out, but it was a PAIN.



**If I had to do it again: I probably wouldn’t go with postcards (even though I LOVE them) because they didn’t have a return address and I’m not busy freaking out that people may not receive them and I’ll never know because they won’t make their way back to me! Yikes!!!!

Post # 10
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@phillybride61513: That said, EVERYONE receiving an inviation should also receive a STD.


It’s the opposite, actually. Everyone receiving a save the date should receive an invitation, but you can send invitations to people you didn’t send save the dates to. 

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