(Closed) Save the date – possible to decline?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Reasonable to decline?
    Yes : (39 votes)
    74 %
    No : (14 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Is there something to decline to?  I mean a Save the Date isn’t actually an invitation.  But to answer your question, I think it is completely reasonable to decline an invitation to any event for whatever reason.  The invitation is just that, an invitation, not a demand!

    Post # 4
    1408 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would explain the situation to your friend so they know that it’s possible you won’t be able to make it. Yet, I wouldn’t give them a definate yes or no yet since your plans aren’t final.

    Post # 5
    9618 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2019

    i would wait until you get the actual invite before declining.

    Post # 6
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I would wait for the invite but if you don’t think the friend’s wedding is reason enough to change your plans now it is surely reason to declin. Not that you owe someone a reason but being out of town is clearly legit.

    Post # 8
    3092 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @DizzyFairy:  Totally legit.  And if you’re close and can talk to your friend about it before the invites go out then you probably will help ease the pain of getting a decline.

    But if not, then I would just decline asap once you recieve the invite and send a gift!

    Post # 9
    1686 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    You have other plans. (The tickets actually being booked is irrelevant. 🙂 If it were me, I’d just give my friend a heads up that I’m going to be on my honeymoon then so that if she had to cut her guestlist she can invite someone else, but I wouldn’t worry about officially declining unless you get an invite. 

    Post # 10
    665 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    They will be happy that you are able to get back to them sooner rather than later.

    Post # 11
    12877 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think you should mention verbally that you’ll be out of town, but don’t make a huge deal of it by pointing it out several times and giving multiple reasons, because that just looks fishy then.  Apologize that you won’t be there because you’ll be away on your honeymoon, and end it there.  But you can’t officially decline until you get the invitation.

    Post # 12
    209 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I’ve had a couple decline the STD- and I appreciated it, because I was then able to invite someone I originally hadn’t had room for

    Post # 13
    3264 posts
    Sugar bee

    You do not reply to an STD.  It’s a heads up, not an invitation.

    Even if you decline the hosts will still have to send you an invite (if they wish to remain polite) so it’s not like they can invite anyone in your place.

    Post # 14
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    You don’t have to reply, but since you already know you can’t make it, I don’t see a problem with giving the bride and call and letting her know you can’t be there.

    Post # 15
    65 posts
    Worker bee

    I think it would nice to give her a heads up the next time you talk to her.

    Post # 16
    6124 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    The STD means you’re GOING to be invited, but at this point in time you do not have to respond at all.  Even if you did say you cannot go, she still has to send you an invitation etiquettely speaking so you can decline then.

    The topic ‘Save the date – possible to decline?’ is closed to new replies.

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