Post # 1
I only have a few guests out of town guests who would probably like an earlier heads up about the wedding date so it okay to only send out about 5 to them?
I’ve never really liked the idea since I find it takes away from the excitement of the actual invitation but I understand that for people who need to make travel arrangments the invite might come too late.
Post # 3
If you only have five out of towners, why not just call them up and say "hey, I’m getting married on X date and you’re invited!" Simple, easy, and with getting only one thing in the mail, it won’t necessarily take away from the invitation excitement.
Post # 4
I agree with tanya2s. If there’s only a few people, I think a phone call is the best way to handle it. You never know who might end up getting upset over not receiving a save the date even though they don’t need one to make travel arrangements. Avoids a potential problem (at least it would be in my family!).
Post # 5
That’s a good point, I didn’t really think of other possibly finding out and then wondering about it. Then I guess I’ll just use the good old telephone.
Post # 6
Sounds good – but I sent out the save the dates cuz I was sick of getting "when is it again" questions. And those weren’t from out of towners…
Post # 7
i love this discussion. i’ve been thinking about cutting the save the date step out of my plan. i guess we’ll have to see how forgetful my family is. 🙂
Post # 8
I would send out handwritten cards to those 5 people to say hello and to give them a heads up. It’s a nice personal way to let them know you’d love them to make it to your wedding.
Post # 9
If it’s only 5 people from out of town, I think you can just call/write, as people stated above. I have to say, however, that it’s really frustrating as a guest when you don’t know the details for a wedding, whether it is in town or not, and invitations go out pretty late. I like to know about weddings way in advance, so that I don’t plan a trip or make other plans. Why not just send a simple Save the Date to everyone, with nothing but your names, the date and location, and then send travel information only to the OOT guests? I think that it tells your guests that it’s important to you to have them there.
Just my two cents….
Post # 10
I agree with Cricket. It’s always nice to get mail, but there’s no point in printing only five save-the-dates to send. However, like gaudior, we sent ours to everybody – so that they would have something to clip to the calendar or put up on the fridge, and stop asking us over and over when exactly the wedding was! For our actual out of town guests, I have not only sent the save-the-date, but also called them. Our main purpose in sending them was to prompt people who needed hotel rooms to get them early – because seriously by 8 weeks before the wedding there will not be a decent room left in town, as it is prime tourist season.
I can guarantee that people will talk. I sent all mine on the same day, which you would think would be the right thing to do, but of course the farther away people live the longer the mail takes. I actually got several phone calls once people got theirs, letting me know they had been watching out for them because they knew other people already had them… Thank heavens no phone calls yet from people we aren’t going to invite wondering if theirs is lost in the mail!
Post # 11
suzanno- a few of ours DID get lost in the mail- and wow that is embarrassing. a few took almost 3 weeks to get to their final destinations on the same coast! then one of FIL’s friends didnt get one & my FMIL couldnt remember if she actually invited her, it was a mess. turns out we did, she just didnt get it.
in the end we are glad we sent out save the dates to everyone, even tho our parents didnt think it was necessary. in the end though, we arent as rushed about getting out our invites. plus a lot of family from around the country are planning vacations around our date & declining other events. we also found out 1 or 2 of our addresses were incorrect. if we were late getting out invites (say 2 months ahead) they definitely wouldnt have been able to make it.