Save the date questions!/Cocktail Style Reception

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Save-the-Dates are not invitations, so people don’t usually reply to them… you’re simply asking guests to “save the date” of your event.  So, anyone you send a STD you need to send an invitation.  If there are people who are on the fence or you aren’t 100% certain will end up being invited, don’t send a STD.

I can’t answer your second question since we had a sit-down lunch (plated meal)… our venue did all the catering and their appetizer prices were just as much if not more than their plated meals.

Post # 4
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@DaneLady:  +1

You send invites out to everyone you sent Save The Dates out to.  They aren’t replied to.

If someone happens to tell you they won’t be able to make it, then you might consider not sending them an invite, but that’s probably against etiquette.

Post # 7
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MangoLover4Life:  Well, hey, I’d go with that, then!  That way you don’t have to buy as many invites.  Win-win!

Nope, you don’t need to know your venue.  We’re just putting our date, wedding website, and the city, state. 

Are you actually getting married on January 18th, 2014?  If so, I’d get your STDs out ASAP if you’re planning to use them.  They’re typically sent 6-9 months in advance.  Or, you could skip them and just send your invites out in November.  STDs are definitely not a requirement.

Post # 8
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014
Post # 9
Member
2209 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

ETA:  Baleted

Post # 11
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Brazil Room

I put my location down because half my guestlist was coming in from out of town or out of state (so they needed to know where they were flying out to!). I agree with the others that you have to send an invitation to anyone you send a Save the Date to.

 

Post # 12
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I say definitely have a venue before sending save the dates. A lot of the time places booked up fast and the date has to change (happened with us). Also you will want to include the city on the save the date. Everyone who you send a save the date to needs an invitation, but not everyone who receives an invite has to have been sent a save the date (you can add later on, but no subtract). 

Post # 13
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I included the city on my save the dates since it is a destination wedding. Even though we had the venue booked I still did not include that information (in case I changed my mind). We did have a few people tell us they would not be able to make it. However, we still sent them an invitation. We sent the save the dates out at 10 months and a few people who initially said they could not make it, are now joining us. Things can change for people between the time they receive the save the date and the time they receive the invitation. If someone receives a save the date, they should also receive an invitation.  

I am having a cocktail style reception and the cost is more than a sit down/plated dinner. I am having my reception at a meal time so, I am serving heavy appetizers and will have several action stations and a carving station. The amount of food we are serving is as much if not more than what would normally be served during a plated dinner or buffet.

Post # 15
Member
1599 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MangoLover4Life:  we did our save the dates via email, and referred people to our wedding website which had the details of the wedding.

Our cocktail party is def less expensive than a plated, sitdown meal around here- $15k for 5 hours includes the venue, staff, setup and takedown (we anticipate spending another 5k or so on food.) I don’t think its too bad for NYC for 110 people

 

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