(Closed) Save the date Survey???

posted 6 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly I think it is kinda rude. Expecially since they may be basing there guest list on survey sent out 6-8 MONTHS in advance. What are the other questions?? Are they logistical or food or something else?

Post # 4
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Never seen that before…very strange.

Post # 5
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

How awkward…I’ve never heard of that.

Post # 6
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

It’s not personal, if the people aren’t close to me, I wouldnt go, or even respond…. really, a survey?

And if they are close friends or relatives, I would ask them “WTF”?

Where do people get these stupid ideas from?

Post # 7
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

never heard of this and I wouldnt respond because honestly I dont know what I’ll be doing that far out. Its their job to pick a date and just inform the guests of it, can they honestly accomodate every single guests schedule in choosing the wedding date?

Post # 8
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 Save the dates are meant to be exactly that regardless if the guests are planning to go or not. That’s awkward to have a Save the Date survey….never heard of that before in my life– and most importantly it’s extremely rude.

It seems apparent for the couple to ask “if you can attend or not” that’s how they are gathering their guest list–as I am on the same page with you it’s rather  insulting. I just wouldn’t respond, period. Because of that alone, I probably wouldn’t go. 

@bells:  I second that! 

Post # 9
1761 posts
Buzzing bee

That seems quite rude. I have to say, I think every couple in the history of time has wished they had exact numbers at the beginning of the planning process, but that’s just not how it works.

Post # 10
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I seems a little impersonal if practical. I’m planning on doing this by phone to find out what weeks people COULD take vacation (info on school breaks, etc) before sending save-the-dates.

Post # 11
674 posts
Busy bee

I’m with PPs who said they wouldn’t respond. It’s absurd. It’s one thing to inquire with your absolute closest friends or family before setting a date and creating a plan, but to send out a mass email? It’s rather obnoxious.

When we started tossing around the idea of a destination wedding, we did the crazy thing of picking up the phone and calling people or talking to them in person. We mentioned it to our parents first, and asked if they would come if we funded their flights and housing expenses for a week. We also mentioned it to his aunt who, even if she can’t make it, would like to feel involved since she feels it is her place to represent his mom’s side of the family ever since she passed away when he was young. That’s how we found out our initial idea of this fall would conflict with his cousin’s wedding – at least in terms of expenses and travel hassles for his family. I also told my closest friend what we were thinking just to put it on her radar.

Beyond that, we’d like more people to come, but we set the date and the plans. We’re not going to refuse to send an invitation just because someone says they may not be able to make it. I think that’s actually the rudest part of the email that PP described. “We only want your address if you’re willing and able to shell out money to come to our party. If not, you don’t even make the holiday card list.”

Post # 13
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

we were asked the same thing, if we would come to a wedding in october of this year. still javen’t gotten an invite or std or anything, and i don’t even think they are still planning for this year, but now i feel locked in something. so aggravating.

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