Post # 1
I am looking for some advice on the wording of a portion of my save the dates. The background info- we are planning a small (for my family) wedding in a venue that only seats 150. We are inviting people that we are 90% certain won’t come (cousins from out of state whose children won’t be invited, etc). We would like people who know now that they won’t be coming to give us a heads up so that we can invite other people (since we don’t want to send out 200 invites for 150 seats we have to do the “b-list” even though we dislike it). I was thinking of including something along the lines of:
“We are planning an intimate wedding at a small venue. If you know that you are unable to attend, we would greatly appreciate advanced notice.”
That seems more formal than we would like, but I’m having a hard time coming up with anything better. Also, I want to make certain that it doesn’t come across as rude… I was thinking of just spreading that I wanted people to do this by word of mouth but we tried that at my sister’s wedding and it didn’t work 🙁 Only one person told us ahead of time (even though she had an almost 80% decline rate from out of state family).
Post # 3
@Spartanbee: It’s a bit unrealistic to expect peoplle to let you know if they are attending before they have received an invitation.
Post # 4
@Spartanbee: Guest usually don’t RSVP until the invitation. You could possible start you all a wedding website where they can rsvp on, there you could put the website on your std and maybe they will RSVP then before receiving an actually invitation.
Post # 5
@hillsab03: this is a good idea!
As someone who lives on a different state than all of my family… We would not know that far ahead of time of we were going to go. There are so many factors that play into it and we usually don’t know until right before the RSVP date when we are forced to make a decision.
Post # 6
Hmm… I hadn’t thought of it like that. In my family we’ve tried to let the bride and groom know as soon as possible if we couldn’t make it (if we had a date conflict or couldn’t afford the plane trip since the last 6 weddings in my family have been out of state!).
Do you think it would be better just to send the invites early with an early RSVP date? Is it okay to spread by word of mouth that we’d appreciate knowing in advance if people knew for certain they couldn’t come?
Post # 7
@Spartanbee: yes both are fine.
Post # 8
@MrsBeck: thanks, I did it on my std!