Post # 1
Hey all! First time poster, long time lurker!
This is sort of long but I’m desperate for advice!
My sister/MOH has recently decided to start her own company selling wedding invitations etc, and offered to design my save the date. I gave her ideas and then sent her a very specific mockup of what I wanted. I had mentioned several time that I planned on ordering postcards on vistaprint because it was cheap and simple. She designed a save the date very early, before I had all the information available because she wanted to have a sample of her work for her website/to bring to tradeshows etc.
Recently when all the information became available I gave it to her and told her I wanted it done by a certain date in order to place my order with vistaprint by the date I wanted. She kind of blew me off and said that she hadn’t done it yet but it wasn’t sized correctly for vistaprint anyways and she wasn’t willing to change it.
I decided that I would just do my own design and order them myself to make my deadline, and avoid stressing over the situation. To date anything wedding related I’ve asked her for she’s not done, and made a big deal if I pushed the issue. It’s been really hard on me because I feel like I shouldn’t have to force her to do the smallest thing, and I’ve been really stressed and lost a lot of sleep over it. It seemed like the easiest thing and this way I had control over the situation instead of relying on someone who hasn’t been cooperating.
So now that I’ve already ordered everything I got an email from her saying that she completed the design. Since things have been rough and she finally did something for the wedding I’m scared to tell her I’ve already ordered. Also, the wording is still what she wanted, not what I asked for in the mockup, and she’s told me that I will likely have problems printing them correctly, and that when I do print them that she’d like me to add a sticker of her company’s logo to them before sending them out.
I feel really conflicted. I’m worried if I don’t use hers that it will make our relationship worse, and that my family will be mad at me (ie I should have waited longer, wording doesn’t matter). I hate to waste the stuff I ordered but I’m not sure what a good solution is. I’d love to hear any ideas!
Post # 3
I would let her know that since she didn’t get it to you before the deadline, that you already ordered some. I personally would quit asking her to do things for the wedding. It seems she does not really want that much responsibility.
I don’t think your family will be mad, maybe just your sister. This really is between the two of you, so I don’t see why they would get involved.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay
that’s a tough situation–i’m sorry! on one hand, she should have been more responsive to you in terms of timing, letting you know she would get things done on schedule, and using your wording.
on the other hand, like you said, this may not be worth igniting a feud over.
in order to keep the peace, would you be up for telling her that you’d be pleased to use her design, but could she please make a few changes to the wording and then order it from vistaprint?
i’m not sure how much you spent on the first vistaprint order, but if it’s not *too* much, it might be worth eating the cost so that your sister and family don’t become really upset. because family strife is not worth it for a save the date. usually.
on the brighter side–welcome, and i’m glad you came out of lurking!
Post # 5
She missed the deadline. Rule number one of owning a business: Pay attention to your client’s deadlines!!! It is not your fault that she messed up. You are going to have to tell her that you already ordered your design. She may be mad, but she’ll get over it. Maybe when you ask her for things in the future, you could move up the deadline that you give her to make sure you get it on time (like tell her you need it a week before you really need it). I know you don’t want to start a feud over it, but your sister dropped the ball on something pretty important. If you want to, you can still offer to put her company’s sticker on it (which is pretty darn generous if you ask me!)
Post # 6
This is a tough one. I would apologize and say you ordered them already. I think if you offer her a chance to re-make them, she will insist on having her way with the design, and you won’t be happy. Also, I’ve never heard someone putting their company’s logo on their Save-The-Date Cards or invites. I’m not an expert, but that sounds a bit tacky to me.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that yes, using your own design for Save-The-Date Cards may upset your sister, but trying to work with her to modify her design will just draw out the conflict.