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I don't think that your STD has to 'match' your Invitations, but they should reflect you and your FI. I do, on the other hand, think that your Invitations should reflect the tone and vibe of your wedding, possibly utilizing your colors to help make the connection to your wedding itself. If red and black plaid are part of your wedding you want to include in your invitations, maybe utilizing an envelope liner or a belly band that has that design would be a nice way to incorporate it.
I don't think your invites and STD have to match at all. Nor do I think they have to match your wedding theme or style or colors. Honestly, we brides obsess over making everything so cohesive, but the only ones who notice...that would be the brides. Everyone else will probably glance at the STD and toss it (hopefully after marking it on a calendar somewhere), then get the invite, misplace it, throw it away, etc. We'd like to think our hard work and good taste is all noticed in the invitations, but reality is that most people don't look into it that much. Go for whatever works for you!
They dont have to match, but why wouldnt they? they set the tone for your event, dictate how formal it will be, and the same "theme" can be carried out through your entire reception to create an overal cohisive look.
I feel that mismatched stationery feels jumbled, un-thought out, and un-detailed. we put so much time, effort, and DIY into our weddings, i wouldnt want mine to feel mismatched and discombobulated because nothing actually matched from start to finish
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I am new to this whole wedding thing and need advice! Do your Save the Dates and Invitations have to match in style and design? Is it tacky to have your STD and Invites "match" your wedding and color scheme? What if part of your wedding scheme is red and black plaid? HELP!