Save the Dates, to whom?

posted 3 years ago in Paper
Post # 2
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

STD are for needed when you have guests that must travel- take off from work, save up for flights and hotel or when your event may interfere with a busy, holiday weekend. Does this sound like your wedding or guest list?

If not skip the STD for everyone.

Post # 4
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

sfp:  STDs technically are not meant for anyone. You could just as easily call or email or send a letter to friends and family that you intend to invite.

If I received a STD I would expext to attend the ceremony. I wouldhope your international travelers are invited to the entire event because that is a big ask. I would skip local guests and part of day guests.

Post # 6
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

sfp:  I have to say your wedding day seems very complicated. Where are you getting married? What is expected and what is considered rude depends on your location. Most people would consider it rude or ‘tacky’ to be invited to the reception & party but not fed

It would be easier to split the day in two rather than 4 parts. How would the reception be different from dinner?

Here in the UK it is common to have the ceremony & reception (including the wedding breakfast, speeches and cake with ceremony starting early afternoon) with family and close friends but then invite colleagues and not so close friends to the evening (dancing till the small hours of the morning usually with ‘nibbles’)

From what I have learnt on this site, it is considered rude in the the US not to invite people to the whole thing (but weddings seem to be shorter)

They aren’t always needed. STD are still rarer in the UK and some of my older family members got confused thinking they were the invitations.Our wedding is when most people book their summer holidays so we needed to let people know the date and it was easier than calling everyone.

We sent STDs to everyone who would be invited to the ceremony and reception but not to the evening. If I recieved note to keep that day free I would expect to be invited to the whole thing.

Post # 8
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

This might be an evil idea, but…don’t send STDs “reception only” people if you’re just inviting them out of obligation. If they don’t find out about the wedding until invitations come, they’ll be less likely to make it. That’s fewer meals of people you don’t care about that you’ll have to pay for. 😉

Send STDs to people whose presence matters to you. And, of course, don’t send them to some people in a group (a group being a family, an office, or a group of friends) but not others, because word gets around. 

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