- Miss Peach Tree
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
We have been engaged for almost a year at this point. Our engagement will be 15 months total. We have had the date set since the first month. We told everyone the date and the plan instantly since most people aren’t local and we wanted to give our families enough time to plan. 2 months ago, at the 6 month until wedding mark, I contacted FI’s brothers/groomsmen to give them the updates (reconfirm date, what they should be wearing, let me know if you have questions, etc.) Everything is on track.
This weekend, 4 months out, as I get back from my first dress fitting and am in the midst of mad crafting, Fiance gets a call from his brother who announces that he is planning a surprise engagement/marriage celebration to his girlfriend, since they are going to elope. The day they haave picked is LESS THAN 3 WEEKS before our wedding. I should also mention that we live halfway across the country from FI’s family. So not only are they having their wedding/engagement party less than 3 weeks before our wedding, they are expecting us to fly out to be there.
1. We do not have extra vacation time, we are using it for our wedding and honey moon which is already booked.
2. I do not have an extra $700 for plane tickets this close to my wedding
3. It is less than 3 weeks before my wedding. I have things to be doing. I needed those days.
4. ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS!?! You are announcing your wedding/engagement party 3 months out, 3 weeks before mine!?!?! This is not a friend, this is his brother.
5. FIL’s have known for a while and not mentioned it because “It wasn’t their place” even though I have been trying to co-ordinate a ladies bonding/shopping weekend with my Future Mother-In-Law, Mom, and bridal party, which will conflict with FBIL’s wedding thing AND SHE NEVER MENTIONED IT.
Now his mom is upset, I am vascilating between total freakout and total cold acceptance, Fiance feels completely insulted and disrespected, and everyone is asking me to “Please don’t be mad, it’s not his (FBIL’s) fault” as if I’m the bad guy. And I just feel like I’ll never be able to have a relationship with these people. No one even had the courtesy or sympathy to apologize.
How do you forgive people that aren’t sorry?