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Yah... LDRs do suck. I don't know how far you would be from each other or how often you could visit. I have done a LDR with my boyfriend every summer and sometimes during the school year when we were in university. One summer for four months we were as much as 7 hours apart. I saw him three times for a few days each. The one GOOD thing I can say about it is that each time you visit, it's awesome. You have something to really look forward to and because you are seeing each other less it makes it that much more special. Sounds like it's super early to be planning anything like this and it may not even happen, but hopefully that bit of insight helps make you feel a bit better!
@Pinkmoon: Thank you! I have to be prepared because obviously he's very interested in other options, and our lease isn't up until July, so I know I will have to stay here.
Potentially he would be about 5 hours away. He already goes out of town every other weekend to visit his son, but over a week and I start getting a little antsy haha.
I'm currently 5 hours away from my SO for school so I feel your pain! Luckily, school has breaks-- you will get holidays and a nice long summer with him! Having the structure of homework and classes helps fill my time, too. Transferring schools wasn't an option for me-- I am in a 2 year MA program and am aiming for a PhD, and it's all about working with professors and building resumes so transferring was never an option. Plus, I get a lot more work done on my nights alone!
We make it work and I drive to him pretty often. He lives in our hometown and it's easier for me to drive up there and see my parents and spend time with him-- he works 40 hour weeks and I can sometimes get Fridays off to make the drive. He flies to me probably twice a semester for a long weekend (flies in Thursday night, works from my apartment on Friday mornings, and then flies back Monday morning and goes straight to work from the airport.) We also find places to go together-- in a few weeks we are meeting in a different place (we'll both have a 3 hour drive) because I'm presenting at a conference. It sucks because I put a lot of miles on my car and gas adds up quickly-- I probably spend $200 a month in travel expenses alone. It's definitely not as nice as living in the same place, but we make it work because we know we're going to get married eventually. (Recently, we've thrown around next summer after I graduate!!)
Are you in undergrad or a different sort of program? Is there a school near him that has a similar program? If you did decide to transfer, two years would be enough time to establish yourself in the program and meet professors and get experience/internships (I don't know what your field is, though, so you'll know better than I would). It can't hurt to put in an application and see where the cards fall.
Also, if your SO does get a job offer, sit down and talk with him about what both of your expectations are. You say you're worried about whether he still wants to go through with an engagement-- that's something to ask him. If you're both willing to put in the effort, LDRs aren't all that bad! I would definitely wait until he gets a job, though. No use trying to have tough conversations if you don't have to have them.
If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!
I would say come to the bridge when you come to it - start planning on how this LDR will work when he gets the job. I was in a LDR myself in a former relationship because of school for about 2.5 years - it was hard but anything is possible (we broke up because he wanted to move even further away, and I didn't want to wait anymore) but yours is completely different!
Good luck and just have that talk where you get all your feelings on the table and know where you are both heading, otherwise you will be second guessing everything.
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So my SO just applied for a position at another company... in a different state. Granted, we have talked about options if he took another job. He wants to be closer to his son, which I totally understand. I just didn't think it would happen... um... so soon. I'm still in school, and probably have another 2 years to go. We had talked about me staying here and him coming to visit me, but that is going to SUUUUCK. I know LDR's are hard, but couples somehow manage. I myself have never been in an LDR so I'm not really sure what to expect.
We have also talked about me moving and transferring schools... but I also think about starting over and that makes me nervous too. I know that this is WAY to early to be thinking about these things, but he just sent me his resume to tweak so I know he is thinking seriously about other career options. He is VERY qualified in the field he is in, so I know he will get something quickly.
I also know there is a pending engagement on the horizon.... but I don't really know how this is going to affect this either? Maybe he is rethinking that also. Ahhh! I don't know what to think at this point.