Post # 1
i just wanted to Thank all of you for all the great advice and comments. I think that I have come to the realization that it’s just not going to happen with my BF. As much as I want it to, it’s not going to. I just feel deep down that he is never going to want to marry me and I need to accept that and figure what me and my kids are going to do. I have loved him from the moment I met him and my kids have come to love him, but he is never going to marry me. Yeah, we looked at rings and he opened up his Kay car. Honestly I think he only did that to make me think he was actually going to propose. I got my hopes up and beleived it. His friend at work has told me that my BF has talked a lot lately about marrying me and all that but when he starts a fight with me for no reason and is just downright mean, it makes me think otherwise. I wish that I could convince my heart differently. I wish I could whole-heartedly believe that he is going to propose but I can’t. I am just so upset and can not stop crying. I am so sorry to burden you guys with my problems. I hope each one of you gets your dream ring and dream proposal from the man of your dreams. The man of mine doesn’t want me as his wife and I have to come to gripes with that.
Post # 3
waitingprincess- I’m sorry to hear that you think it is the end of the road. I think you need to relax a bit and give him time to do things in his own way. Your other posts have indicated that it is in the works. Be patient and like I told you yesterday, be excited that your on the verge of getting engaged!
Post # 4
NOOOOO! I think you are having a “waiting” breakdown! I thought a few days ago everything was fine! ***HUGS*** Just calm down and take a few deep breaths! I am sure everything will be fine!
Post # 5
waitingprincess – i have been reading your posts and i think you just need to calm yourself down a bit (((hugs))). i’m not sure why you’re giving up hope, maybe there is more to it than you’re posting, but it seems like your guy is on his way to proposing. i know how frustrating it can be to wait, i started many fights with my FI pre-proposal, many of which involved tears. he had the ring the whole time but didn’t want to just give it to me because i was upset.
try to relax and think rationally. it sounds like you might need to have a serious chat with your guy. don’t throw your love away over a ring! he needs to do this on his own time. why are you so convinced he’s not going to propose?
Post # 6
I agree with OttawaBride2011! I know it’s hard, but what brought all of this on now?
Post # 7
Good luck. I agree with vintage2010 that the best thing you could do is relax and just enjoy your time with him, it will happen when it happens. If you stress too much about it, then it turns all of us girls into emotional messes. If he really isn’t your prince charming, then I wish you all the best.
Post # 8
I thought that everything was going wonderful. We haven’t argued over anything since we went and looked at rings. Then all of sudden today he texts me while I am at work and starts a fight. He said some really mean things and it just hurt bad. I don’t know how he can one day say to his friend at work that he is going to go and buy my ring this month and then the very next day act like a huge d***! Excuse my language. I don’t get it. Guys do not get PMS. They just don’t. It just broke my heart to the point that it has me feeling like he is never going to propose.
Post # 9
Agree with pp’s that I think you need to just take a deep breath and relax. I don’t know what suddenly made you think he is not going to propose, but from your previous posts, it seems like the proposal is in the works. There’s no expiration date for rings or proposals or anything…it will happen when it happens. A lot of posters on here (myself included) were with their guys for years and years, living together, etc. before they got engaged. I think you’re working yourself up too much about what others are saying, what your fiance is saying to co-workers, fixation on “when” it’s going to happen, etc.
You looked at rings, he opened a Kay card. Normally guys don’t just do these things on a Saturday for fun. Relax…it will happen.
Post # 10
WaitingPrincess: SOME Guys do have PMS, They just don’t have a cycle! LOL
Post # 11
So you’re willing to give up on him just because you don’t have the patience to wait for him to propose?
If you ask me, him not proposing (yet) doesn’t mean that he loves you any less. Nor does it mean that he is not going to at all. If your relationship is going well and you’re both happy with each other, then why let something like the lack of a proposal get in the way of your true happiness? I think that you should take a step back and analyze why it is that you are willing to let go so easily.
Us women are way too emotional. I think you should just be happy with your relationship if it’s going well. Otherwise, as unstable as you come across here, if you keep letting that overpower your logical thinking, you’re going to push him away. Just my thought.
I wish you only the very best.
Post # 12
You need to follow your heart but you owe it to yourself to not make any rash decisions. I don’t know the whole story but if if it’s not working out then it’s not working out but I thought I read a post from you earlier today about him possibly trading in your ring for an e-ring tomorrow and you needed to leave it for him to trade in or something. It just seems like I’m missing something here.
Post # 13
You guys will be fine! You got into a lover quarrel and you are already emotional (speaking from experience and still going through it) so you are taking it a bit hard! Sing With Me ***Don’t Worry..Be Happy***
Post # 14
I have to throw my two cents in. One of the things I think is the very most important in our lives – whether it is a romantic or friendly relationship – is that we are being treated well and we are happy. It is such a blessing to have people who care for you, and for you to care for them.
I have been in many LTRs, and for the first time when I recently became single last year I began to actually “date”. I met many men, have a lot of funny stories, and genuinely came to the conclusion that “THE one” did not exist for me. I cried, but I came to terms with the belief that I was bound to have lovers and not a husband. This was a trying period in my life where I questioned my spirituality and my ‘plan’, and what exactly I wanted versus what was truly important.
When I met SO, I was broken but hopeful. And very skeptical. SO was similtaneously everything and nothing I had expected, and every hour that goes by even now I feel ridiculously blessed to have had the experience. If SO and I parted, I would be devastated – BUT – I would still be thankful that God brought us together, and that I got to EXPERIENCE love like I had always wanted. And that means I treated him the way I always envisioned I would treat the man of my life, even when I don’t feel like it and I’m tired.
Don’t get caught up in engagement and wedding fever. I would balk at anything ANYONE demanded or tried to manipulate me into doing, even if it was right. I am NOT saying that you’re doing this, but please understand any emotion or reaction you have – he will notice. You are so lucky to have a man who treats you well (from what I gather, since you have spoken highly and want to be with him for the rest of your lives). What is important is that we have each other. Everything else is symbolism. After the engagement and wedding, all of the problems you have will still be there… and all of the love and experiences to go with them. The real relationship is that you cherish each other every day, unconditionally.
I hope you decide to stay. I have no idea when SO is going to propose to me, and I even second guess it at times. But I realized what was most important to me is him. Regardless of anything else. He is my rock. And my ring, and my home, and my bestfriend. 🙂
Post # 15
Yeah, I’m sorry you’re stressed out but I think that’s all it is. There was tension between us and some fights before the proposal happened – I just felt a little insecure until I finally got the ring.
If you two were meant to be like you’ve been saying things will calm down and go back to normal. You will get your ring! Don’t worry, just take some time to relax!
Post # 16
@chaotic bliss: true dat!
@waitingprincess: i think if you get yourself worked up and you get it in your head that you want things to be over, you may end up self-sabotaging a good thing. a lot of us have been where you’re at, and at least from what i’ve read thus far from my short time of being on these boards, things on the whole will turn out the positive side. guys sometimes tend to act like dumbasses despite the fact that they are madly in love you. it seems like you need a vacation, or a least a couple of days to remove yourself from the environment and decompress. sometimes negative energy breeds more negative energy, so it might be good to get away for a couple of days, de-stress yourself, and come back with a fresh perspective. that way you might be better able to assess what’s really going on (you just being really stressed and freaking out, or if he’s really not planning to take the plunge with you). even if it’s just getting in your car and driving somewhere for a day with a girl friend or a family member. have any trips planned?