Scared but excited about life changes, advice??

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You picked up and moved to a new country with no family around–sounds like you’re a person totally capable of handling a little stress and transition!!!

I am about to move across the country to be back near family, start a new job, etc.  It is definitely stressful–but the stress is mostly around the logistics of the move itself. Once you arrive you’ll have family around to help you settle into a new routine and with some of the logistics.  If you can afford it, outsource the most stressful aspects of big life changes (hire professional movers, hire a good realtor, etc).  Make lots of lists and decide approximate times to get each thing done so that you don’t feel overwhelmed.  Moving within the country is easier, and you’ll get very good at the process if you have to do it a lot.  Look to websites that have info for military families making multiple moves for a lot of really great emotional and practical support and ideas (it won’t be exactly the same, but it can help you see that lots of people are making it work somehow.

And breathe! You’ll be so happy to start that new chapter!!

 

Post # 4
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LaPetiote:  I understand where you are coming from in many ways. I am from the states, my husband is from Ireland and we currently live in canada. 

However, we have no friends, family or roots in canada – which sounds very different from your situation because you have made your “home away from home” into a true home by now.

Do you want to be closer to your family – or are the friends you have built up in your new place enough support when your husband is gone? Do you have to move back there or is it possible to stay where you are and buy a new house and settle there? I’m just wondering if your family is pressuring you to come back. 

I know for me, we are desperate to move back where we have friends and family and have ultimately agreed to live in the states because there is more opportunites there for both of us and I am much closer to my family than he is to his family.  

Post # 6
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LaPetiote:  Well it sounds like you guys have made a decision that you both know will be the best in the end. its just about taking the actual steps now. Any change is always scary. I think its completely normal to be scared of such a big change – especially if you have been living in paris for 10 years now. 

But if you know what you’re doing is best for you both – then ultimately it will make you happy! Its just getting through the yucky part of moving (never a fun process) and the unsettling aspects of change. Once you feel surrounded by your family and have no roots put down, smaller moves wont seem as scary. Plus, the more you do it, the more you realize what you can handle and the better you get at navigating such things.

🙂 *hugs* 

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s way harder moving away from family than it is to move back near them!

So that’s the good news!

The bad news is that selling your house to move occasionally feels like losing a small part of your soul. But only until you guys can buy your fancy house! And fill it with babies!

Post # 9
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@LaPetiote:  Ugh, there is nothing worse than having to do that stuff when your SO isn’t there. My husband travels a lot too. I hate that. Right after i moved up, he litteraly was gone during the week every week for a month. It was miserable. 🙁

He got a great job up here with really good pay, so we couldnt really refuse. Even though its not really a job he enjoys and I still havent been able to get work. Hence why we are hoping this is a short term move and not a forever one.  

Post # 10
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You literally describd mine and my husband’s exact situation to a tee: we spent our adult lives building our careers in a city that was away from our famlies, and with me in a job I hated. The city we were in had a ridiculous cost of living, horrible commutes, and we knew if we stayed a lot of our plans (buying a house, having kids) would be pushed back way further than we wanted them to.

We ended up moving back to where our families are about a year after we got married, and it was literally the best decision we could have made. Our lives here have way less stress, we have more time for family, friends, hobbies, and each other. We’re starting to look at houses in the new year, and will probably start TTC then too. 

The biggest advice I can give you is to let life happen. Change can be a great thing, and you two are a team. Embrace the changes, because they’re what makes life interesting. 🙂

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