Post # 1
I’m hiding under an alias, because it’s easier.
FI and I haven’t exactly been being careful. But I’m on the pill. However, as everyone knows, the pill isn’t 100%. There’s always those exceptions. I take it religiously, every day. But knowing my luck, I’d be in that .9% of people who get knocked up on the pill.
I feel like shit. I’m exhausted, I have no motivation to do anything. I had a negative test a few weeks back, but then we slipped up again. And now I’m really worried. My appetite is gone, the thought of food makes me gag. I’m just… gross. My period isn’t due until a week from yesterday, I’m still on my last week of active pills. I have a test, I bought a 3-pack when we had the first scare. Do I take it now?
We can’t afford a baby. We can’t have a baby where we live. We’re not getting married for another few years (long engagement by choice). He’s totally not ready for a baby (I could be, if I wanted to). He’s freaked out. He doesn’t want kids yet.
I’m just freaking out. And I can’t talk to anyone without getting lectured. I just want to know what my options are. I’m not a child, I’m in my late 20’s. I just don’t know what to do.
Post # 3
Are you past the window to take the Plan B pill?
Post # 4
First, take a deep breath! I know you’re worried, but you don’t have to make any decisions right this second, especially since you don’t even know for sure if you are pregnant.
Feeling exhausted and having no appetite could be caused by the flu or a plethora of other things. You are still almost a week from your expected period, which is probably too early to test. This also means it is probably too early to have such strong symptoms. I know some bees said they had symptoms from the day of conception, but this is very rare. Usually, you don’t feel crappy until there is a certain level of pregnancy hormones in your body, and that takes a while. If your symptoms are caused by pregnancy, you should already have enough HCG in your body to be detected by a pregnancy test, so take one now.
If you end up being pregnant, then you and your FI need to sit together to make some tough decisions. Will it really be impossible to raise a child now? How do you feel about abortion or adoption? I haven’t been in your situation, but I know many other bees have. They can probably give better advice about this. But first, find out if you are actually pregnant. I think you might not be.
This sentence stood out to me: “I had a negative test a few weeks back, but then we slipped up again.” If you take the pill religiously as you said, what exactly do you mean by “slipped up”?
Post # 5
@AprilJo2011: I was wondering the same thing. Are you skipping pills, or just neglecting to use backup methods? Even if you miss one day, as long as you take them both the next day you’re covered. It’s only if you miss two or more that you start to run the risk. And if you’ve been on the pill for a long time, odds are you’d have to miss a hell of a lot more than that before your body started ovulating again (like, MONTHS off the pill).
Also, the symptoms you’re describing don’t sound like pregnancy. I’d say you’re probably fine
Post # 6
thanks ladies, i appreciate it.
@MadameTussaud: yes. sadly, i am too far out for plan b.
@AprilJo2011: @iarebridezilla: “slipped up” means we didn’t use a condom. which we usually do. i was on my last day of my period when we forgot. and yeah. now i’m on my third week of active pills in the pill pack.
and i hate the idea of abortion. for me. for anyone else, it’s a personal choice and people can make it for themselves. but for me, i don’t like the idea. we totally aren’t ready for kids yet. and i know he’s all gung ho about abortion if i am. because there’s no way i could carry a baby to term and then give it up.
i really hope it’s just the flu or something. i’m just worried. i’ll wait and see if my period comes. and if it doesn’t, i’ll take a test.
Post # 7
when i was on the pill, we NEVER used a condom. with any of my boyfriends (except in the beginning) and i never got pregnant. you are probably fine. i know when i thought i was pregnant a few months ago (i’m off the pill now) i felt every single symptom. you can imagine my shock when i got my period. don’t stress!
Post # 8
@beenonymous765: If you didn’t miss a pill, you just didn’t use a back up method, then it’s pretty unlikely you would’ve gotten pregnant. You’re still protected during your period even though you aren’t taking the active pill as long as you’ve been taking them regularly.
Post # 9
your symptoms might also be attributed to the fact that you’re stressing out like crazy about this, and that may delay your period 🙁
Post # 10
@beenonymous765: I think your chances are slim, if you are taking the pills regularly. A lot of us don’t use condoms while on hormonal birth control. Continue to test, but like I said, I think it’s very doubtful. Breathe. Best of luck <3
Post # 11
@beenonymous765: I think if “slipped up” means that you didn’t use a condom in addition to the pill that you take rigorously, then the chance that you are pregnant is extremely slim. Sure, nothing is fool proof, but more often than not the pill works really well. That and the timing of your cycle/symptoms make me think that you are not pregnant.
Post # 12
I concur with what the other Bees said – take a deep breath, wait for your period to come through. If it doesn’t, take a pregnancy test. If it is negative, it’s probably stress and nothing to worry about. If it is positive, sit down and have a talk with your FI about the possible options. Abortion is one – whilst it is not something you might want to do, it might be the best option for this point and time in you and your FI’s lives. Adoption is another one, but you mentioned that you do not like the idea of carrying it to term and then giving it away.
If it does come down to you being pregnant, I would book an appointment with an OBGYN to discuss your options. It will be very helpful and enlightening. Good luck with whatever happens. I doubt you are pregnant, and I do think you should only cross that bridge when it comes instead of working yourself up to it. But we all jump to conclusions in similar situations – I know I have many a time.
Post # 13
Besides which, the VAST majority of people who “get pregnant on the pill” are people who missed multiple days or who were taking antibiotics that make the pill not effective. If you’re taking it how you’re supposed to, it’s nigh on impossible to get pregnant. I never ever used condoms as backup birth control and I’m still batting a thousand on not getting knocked up I’m actually far MORE concerned about how hard it will be to get pregant once I get off the pill, because it nukes your insides a little so your eggs don’t want to play ball!
Post # 14
First off all: Relax. I know its hard, I skipped periods while on the pill and bought many a pregnancy test.
Second of all: Take a pregnancy test when you actually miss your period.
Third of all: Talk to your OBGYN about other forms of birth control that would be better for your situation.
Post # 15
I’m a bit confused what you mean by you’re not being very careful. Taking the pill religiously IS being careful. I had a similar scare a few weeks back… and I took a test and it was negative… but I can sure relate to how you’re feeling. I guess I just still have doubts the pill can be effective… even though I’ve been on it for years.
I think that some pregnancy tests can detect it a few days before your time of month is due. You might want to try that.
Realistically though, you’re not pregnant. I know I convince myself I have X disease or am pregnant, and my body produces the symptoms. Joys of being a hypochondriac. Is something else bothering you? If you had a similar scare a few weeks ago maybe you need to re-think your birth control method so that you’re not freaking yourself out constantly.
Post # 16
I agree with PPs, you’re probably not pregnant. I’m on the pill and haven’t used a backup method in over 5 years! You’re covered during your period, too. I think it’s highly unlikely that you’re pregnant.