(Closed) Scared of being alone in new home- help!

posted 4 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
526 posts
Busy bee

i got an alarm system installed, best $30 a month I spend.

Post # 4
Member
10508 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

Get to know your neighbours, play some music or have the tv or radio on to prevent it from being too quiet, turn on some lights and just give it some time.

Post # 5
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Stop running away. How will you ever get comfortable there if you allow yourself to take these extreme measures? Indulge in your favorite things while at home alone. Watch marathons of your favorite cheesy TV show, strut around in a feather boa and sing along to loud music like you’re performing, find the most comfortable spot and read your favorite book, whatever floats your boat. Give yourself the chance to love being alone in the house instead of allowing yourself to avoid confronting the issue. 

Post # 8
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Jw1724:  Good! Plan something fun for yourself tonight and get started as soon as he’s out the door. As for sleeping alone, I hear ya there, that might be tougher. 

Post # 10
Member
10369 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

By yourself in a parking lot = WAY more dangerous than by yourself at home.

Getting into a routine is probably the most important thing. Have you gotten completely unpacked? “nesting” by hanging up pictures, etc might help, as well!

Post # 11
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

What are you afraid of exactly?  Are you scared of the isolation?  Or of robbers?  Try keeping music playing or the tv on.  As silly as this sounds, I pretty much always have the TV on when my FI isn’t home.  It makes me feel less alone, I guess?  And strangely (granted, irrationally) safer, like there are other people in the house with me.  Like others have said, give it time.  You need to get used to the house, so spending as much time there as you can is probably the best route, as opposed to driving to a parking lot to escape. 

Post # 12
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Jw1724:  Get a dog?

Post # 13
Member
526 posts
Busy bee

he would deny you it if it made you feel safe? Surprised

Post # 16
Member
8515 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If your H won’t spring for an alarm system, you might try getting the “fake” stickers as a deterrent.  There are also inexpensive security cameras that you can link to your computer so that you don’t have to answer the door, motion detecting lights that you can install, beware of dog signs, bark recordings etc. 

If you have any of your own money, maybe it can go to an alarm. I agree that sitting in your car in a parking lot is LESS safe by far. H used to travel for his job,  so I know how you feel.  

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