Scared of being the weak link..

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You’re not being crazy, it’s totally understandable to feel this way. Maybe some counseling will help? It sounds like your FI is helping you to build a strong foundation and your relationship sounds great. You are not doomed to a life of divorce. The fact that you recognize this as a potential issue for you is a great start, now run with that and be the one that changes the path for your family and your future children. The thing about tools and knowhow is that they are learned. You may have learned bad habits up to this point but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn good habits and make the best of your life!! FWIW, my parents had a great marriage for 31 years, then it fell apart. It scared the hell out of me, I thought for sure if they couldn’t make it, then I wouldn’t be able to make it with my DH either (his parents are also divorced). You can’t predict the future, but you can work hard to make the present count and set yourself up for the best future possible.

Post # 3
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

You’re not crazy, but I feel like your fears are a bit irrational 🙂

Think about it this way- he comes from a “normal” family that knows how to have healthy relationships AND HE IS CHOOSING TO BE WITH YOU. Obviously you’re doing something right!

Post # 4
Member
2210 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

Every marriage is individual and new and special..  It’s just you and your husband.  The relationship is unique and there will be issues to work through but love will win the day..

My best advice is that every single day of your married life you should both tell each other how much you love each other.

Good luck.

Post # 6
Member
4896 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

jny1179:  

Very well said.  We all have the power to chart our own futures.  I think the fact that you are so aware of your family history & it’s possible impact on you is huge.

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