- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
So I guess this is sort of a spin off from the other "scared of delivery" thread. When I think about what I am afraid of during delivery, it is pretty much all related to the epidural. Yet, I am petrified of not having one. I have no idea what to do!
With the epi, I am afraid of (and I know some of these things don't happen to everyone, or even to most people):
-Chronic back pain afterwards
-The epi wearing off too early (and not having learned enough alternate pain management techniques)
-Not getting the epi on time and panicking when I realize I can't have one.
-Going numb on one side only
-The pain and risks involved in putting the epi in
-CATHETER (which I am wondering if you need regardless?)
-Not being able to get out of bed during labor
The main reason I want one is the RING OF FIRE! I feel like I could handle contractions for a couple reasons. I have always had bad cramps and stomach issues, so I know I have a high pain tolerance for that type/location of pain only (not for other types at all!!). Also I had a very painful miscarrage during which I asked in the ER "is this what labor feels like?" to which my nurse responded "no, labor shouldn't be this bad." (My miscarrage experience was definately an exception to how they normally are.)
But that ring of fire! I don't want to feel the baby come out down there. But is that really a reason to get an epi?? If I need an episiotomy or if I tear, I won't be able to tolerate that kind of pain.
What do you think???
Other natural moms I've talked to ALL (well all but 1) has said that the contractions were much worse than the pushing/ring of fire... And that being able to feel what was going on was actually very helpful in them feeling in control & not tearing.
For myself, being able to move in labor (to help it progress via gravity) is REALLY important to me. If I was having a hospital birth anyways. lol
Hmmm, have you looked into other options for pain management? There are a lot of meds and med-free options out there besides just getting an epidural or not! Specifically, I'm thinking you might start researching and ask your doctor about a pudendal block, based on your concerns. Not every doctor/hospital does it, but it's basically a local anesthetic shot applied very shortly before or after the actual birth (e.g. right before crowning or right after the baby is actually delivered).
Secondly, I'll say that I had an epidural and it was pure bliss, but I know not everyone has as good of an experience as I did. However, once you get to the point of an episiotomy or tearing or feeling the ring of fire, it's not that big of a deal. There is so much other stuff going on, and all of those things only last a split second, that it's literally the shortest part of labor. Plus, if it all of a sudden hurts, and the pain doesn't immediately dissapate, your doctors can still give you a local anesthetic that will have immediate relief. So it's not like you'll be in angonizing pain for hours on end from tearing/episiotomy/ring of fire. :)
I tore and needed many stitches (yuck) so yeah I was grateful I had that epidural while they were sewing me up. The plan this time is to go without an epidural, so ooooooh yeah... we'll see. I'll make sure to compare the experiences.
The epidural itself from my experience feels like a bee sting, and then a weird little cold zap goes down your leg. For me it wasn't painful, maybe a little unpleasant. But once it was in I could actually speak without crying, and even managed a nap. So by the time I was ready to push I felt well rested and ready, I'd brushed my hair and put some chapstick on and wasn't a disheveled wreck like before.
I needed a catheter during labor only because I was on an IV the whole time, and reached a point where I could no longer go use the toilet through the contractions. I couldn't feel it, I actually didn't notice it was in until I said "Hey I haven't had to pee for awhile." Once I had the baby I used the toilet on my own minutes after I was stitched up. But no chronic back pain. I got the epidural 6 hours before I started pushing and was sleeping most of that time. Before I got the epidural I was walking around (cussing), on the birthing ball, leaning over the bed while DH rubbed my back. At one point I was walking around in the hallways in my gown with all the other about to pop moms and we were all nodding at each other like "Hey, what's up. This is super fun right?"
The one thing that freaked me out was, my legs felt like they weighed 100 pounds each when they got me out of bed to pee. I was semi walking with help, but it was a weird sensation! It wore off though, by the next day I was sore but walking around, going down the hall to the nursery, chatting with other moms.
Maybe I didn't have a typical experience, but when all was said and done, I totally didn't regret having it. 2 days of pitocin induced pain was plenty. I'll be interested to see how this time compares to the last time.
ETA: And no matter what, preparing yourself for any and all experiences can only help you. I'm shooting for an unmedicated birth this time with no pain relief, so I'm preparing like I would prepare for a final exam or something. I've researched c-sections, and of course I've already had a birth experience with an epidural as well. If you're prepared for any outcome it makes it easier to get your game face on rather than panicking about the unknown. The way your body sort of guides you through the process is amazing!
I'm going to do it natural style, however I don't have any negative feelings towards those who chose to have one. For me, as amnystik said, I don't want to get stuck lying in a bed for hours, I want to move around and do what works for me. Plus I'm more than likely going to have a water birth anyways.
I watched my sister go through some crazy things with just trying to get her epi in. First only one half of her body went numb. Then they took it out placed it differently and then she couldn't hear anything. Then the placed it again. I don't want someone messing with my spine like that. Seems scary.
I have had a delivery with pitocin and no pain medication and one with an epi/spinal block. The one without pain med I also had an episiotomy and I didn't really notice at the time. I tore beyond the episiotomy and felt most of my stitches (the numbing medicaiton wore off because I needed so many)Honestly getting the epi was scary to me, but the relief was amazing. I didn't need a catheter because I was already at 10 when I got it. I was up moving pretty quickly afterwards and that first pee was much more comfortable then with out the epi.
My husband's co-worker is one of those rare people that was paralyzed and had problems with nerve pain and walking for months. For that and other reasons I plan to go natural again with #3.
the epidural was amazing and honestly the pain was not bad at all putting it in. i must be honest though and say that my first epidural didn't work. i didn't know this was possible, but apparently its pretty common (15% of the time). they kept pumping more meds in and nothing was changing and contractions were getting worse. when i was faced with the IDEA of going without one i flipped out. they ended up doing it again and it worked perfectly. it wasn't in the right place apparently. doing it the second time when i was in the middle of super painful contractions was more difficult that the first time when i was merely uncomfortable.
honestly it was such a relief not to have to get out of bed to pee and whatnot. after my water broke every time i'd get up, fluid just drained out. it was so gross. i basically had to walk around with a towel between my legs.
the catheter is no big deal. once the epi is in, you can't feel them put in the catheter. after 10 hours of no progress i ended up with a c-section anyway so they just turned up the epidural at that point, which made things easier. i hadn't had any lingering back pain or anything like that.
I've had 2 babies with epidurals. Yes, I had to be catheterized and could not get out of bed. But let me tell you, after hours of strong contractions I was SUPER happy to get the Epi. It was like heaven. Seriously.
@eeniebeans: Were you able to sleep? Sleep saved me. After 24 hours of non stop one right after the other strong contractions, my eyes were bloodshot and I felt like I was having a mental breakdown. I woke up and felt like a Disney princess, bluebirds were going to fly through the window and start braiding my hair haha!
From all the people I have talked to, I have to say I agree with @amnystik: Most people say the contractions are the hardest part and the "ring of fire" doesnt last too long, whereas the contractions can go on for hours.
@heathaah: I am also terrified of the same things you listed about epi as well as what my doctor told me that it can (sometimes) slow labor down a little bit. I am praying I can avoid it if possible. If for some reason I do have to have an epi I would really want to have the regular "shot" rather than the iv that stays in your back. But if you want to have an epi you should definitely go for it. Just do what you are comfortable and happy with. Thats what my doctor always tells me.
KatyElle Actually, I was very lucky in that both of my labors happened fast enough (9 hours and 6.5 hours) so that I didn't need/get a chance to sleep. So when I say "hours" of contractions I mean like between 4-5 hours of contractions. I know, I know- I shouldn't complain at all! :) Your Disney Princess description is PRICELESS!
I had a natural delivery because I was afraid of an epidural. The "ring of fire" never entered my mind. Yes, I tore a little, but it really didn't bother me much after the fact and the stitches hurt more than the actual tearing. Also, I didn't even think about anything else when they told me that they could see hair. For what it's worth, I loved my birth and wouldn't have a medicated birth as long as everything was healthy with the baby.
@TheFutureMcBride: How bad do the stitches hurt would you say? I'm not so much scared about the pushing because I feel I can overcome it with focus, but I am scared about the tearing if there is no pain relief.
I'm not exactly scared of the epidural...I'm scared that for one reason or another I won't be able to get it. I can't bear the thought of child birth without an epidural.
@KatyElle: I didn't think the stitches are too bad. They use a novcaine/lidocaine type medicine that feels like a pinch and a bee sting and then you are numb. Once that wears off, it they are still stitching you up it is like hard pinches I would say.
@MrsMeNow: That doesn't sound too horrible... what I was imagining was a lot worse. That's my #1 hangup about no epidural.
Hard pinches don't sound bad....until you think about where you are being pinched!
Hearing everyone's experiences is so helpful!!!!!
@KatyElle: I was numbed for the stiches with novicane, but that was uncomfortable. I actually ahve some pictures of me holding Wombat while I get the shot. In them, I'm making all kinds of funny faces. The good thing is it doesn't last that long and there's this super cute baby right there.
I am more afraid of having an epidural. I had to sign up for one or risk not being able to have one. I chose to take that risk because my husband and I don't feel comfortable. I may take some other pain medicines, but not the epidural. Besides, my mama didn't have one. She had natural births. She didn't have a natural birth because she wanted to, she just did it. So I am going to try to just do it too.
I had an epidural with my last and it was amazing. I never felt the needle go in since my contractions were intense so I couldn't think of anything else. I was 9cm dilated by the time I got it (I started crying when they told me I progressed to 9 because I did NOT want it to be too late!). I could sort of feel my legs by the time I was pushing but I couldn't feel the actual birth...it did make pushing difficult because the nurse told me to, "push like I'm taking a dump" her language, not mine, but I had to assume that's what I was doing and I didn't know for sure.
I had an episiotomy so I'm happy I had the epidural. I got up about an hour after giving birth when the nurse asked me to try to urinate but I pushed for so long that I really couldn't do any other action than push or "bear down" (a little TMI, sorry). So I did end up having a catheter but I'm sure that many women can pee afterwards since they try to get you to go. Oh, but I didn't have anything to drink during my entire labor so I really didn't feel like I had to go.
I had a med-free birth and the contractions were WAY MORE INTENSE then the ring of fire was. And when I was pushing I was actually focusing on the ring of fire. Not sure why. I guess i just knew that was the next step and would know I was pushing hard enough when I felt it. I only pushed for 15 minutes and he came out all in one fell swoop landing on the bed since no one was really ready for him. So I guess I pushed hard enough :)
They gave me local for the stiches and I'd maybe describe it as 'uncomfortable' but not painful. And like I said - after those contractions everything else was a breeze!! Plus at that point your snuggling your sweet babe and you really don't care what else is happening!
Definitely ask at your next appt what other pain options are available besides an EPI. I know some friends have had something to 'take the edge off' but it was not an EPI. There are other options - you may just have to ask lots of questions because they are so quick to go the EPI route.
You'll all do great!!!
@winniewolf: My thoughts EXACTLY. I can't bear the thought of delivering a baby without an epidural, but what really scares me is that the antenatal clinic at my hospital told me that they don't like to give epidurals unless it has been a very prolonged labour and it's absolutely necessary. That thought petrifies me - I'd like to have an active labour for a little while (trying the birthing ball, squatting, etc) but I want to know that when I want an epi, I'll be able to get one.
DH and I recently moved to this new town for his job and I'm secretly hoping his project finishes up early so we can head back to our old city before the baby arrives. Here, we have one option and one option only for places to have the baby - in our old city, there are a plethora of hospitals and epidurals are not frowned upon.
To answer the OP's question, I'm not scared of the epidural - needles don't worry me but prolonged pain does. The thought of delivery scares mee far more than the thought of the epidural.
I'm not pregnant right now but I'm scared of delivering without an epidural which I will have to do. I have a curve in my spine like my mom did and she couldn't get an epidural because of it.
^ Ah yes, I agree with @jilian about there being other options. If you do decided to get a "drip" of something, ask what hospital protocol is on how long they let you use it.
I know for me, they cut me off at 8 cm and the contractions I had between then and them prepping me for a cesarean were TERRIBLE! I had gone from very dull contractions to very intense contractions with NO WARNING and was NOT prepared for them. The way I like to think about it is... labor is a progression & in that progression we're more able to prepare for the next more intense leg of it. If we make it easy until the very end, very intense, hard part, then we're really working against ourselves. Case in point... I would NEVER just wake up one day and try and go run a marathon. I would TRAIN through smaller, less intense runs first. Same thing.
So.. if you opt for something else, be sure and know if they're going to cut you off at a certain point. Because if they are, I know for myself, I would've MUCH rather had the progression than be at 25 miles into my run without the conditioning needed. lol
i may not qualify since the one i gave birth to is now 18 and a pain in the ass in so many other ways, but don't be scared. it's really not that bad. i had him with a bit of demerol and no epidural. impacted wisdom teeth hurt much worse than that. don't be scared, and get the epidrual if you need it. but you might not.
I'm scared too! Of both the epi (for many of the same reasons you mentioned) and going without it. I really can't imagine going without though, so it seems to be the lesser of two evils to me, personally. I wish I had some wisdom, but instead, just chiming in to say you're not alone.
I also want to mention maybe it was because my epidural had a few hours to settle, but I could feel every contraction and I knew right when to push. I had my daughter out in 20 minutes. The contractions weren't painful, I just felt a lot of pressure and tightening, and then I'd push through and relax until another came. It's weird to describe when people ask what it felt like, but it felt like pushing out a baby, there was just mostly pressure rather than the pain from the hours before I had the epidural.
I'm glad this thread was started. It's nice to hear things from all different sides.
tagging this (horrifying) thread for later....You mamas are so so brave and wonderful!
Not TTC just yet but i'm more scared of the delivery by far. The thought of some prolonged 16+ hour process terrifies me.
@jilian: Agreed. However, I will say that I had the meds which "take the edge off" with Moose and that stuff did nothing. When I was pushing with Wombat, I wanted meds, but my husband kept reminding me how they did nothing. Having done both, I'd never take the meds again. They were pointless.
I'm pretty terrified about the pain of delivery when I think about it, but I feel like that's pretty normal. I know I don't want an epi unless there is a really good reason for it -- like being exhausted after 24+ hours of laboring. So I'm trying to mentally prepare for the pain, and also I'm planning on surrounding myself with some excellent coaches to help me through the process -- DH and a doula. The part that I'm most scared for actually is being stitched up afterwards. Do doctor's always give you a local before the stitches? ...and how quickly does the local wear off afterwards? I can't imaging getting stitched up without being numbed up first!
My sister had an epi with all 4 of her boys. The only complications she had with 1 of them was that it only took on 1 side but by the time they went to fix it she was completely dialiated. With her 1st delivery she tore real bad and had to have stitches. She was ever so greatful for having the epi and not having to feel that pain. I want to have 1 as I do not tolerate pain what so ever but DH is pushing not to have 1. He's not the 1 dealing with the pain! lol He's just afraid of the side effects it has on the baby. I guess we'll decide when the time comes. Good luck!
@skibobrown: That's one of my fears as well - everyone seems to talk about how the stitches hurt more than the actually delivery and it makes me wonder if they actually numb you up or just go for the stitches as is. The thought of stitches without anesthetic, especially in that area, makes me squirm and cringe. The other thing is, I've had stitches several times before, obviously numbed up before they did them, and I never felt a thing. So if people are numbed up, why do the stitches still hurt so much? Can anyone shed some light on this topic that now has me completely freaking out?!
I was scared of both but I gotta say - the epi might not be for everyone but it saved me! It allowed me to be focused and present. I had back labor because my son was sunny side up and stuck under my pubic bone. The OB was thinking I'd need a csection but I was determined to push him out. I had a crazy huge episiotomy with more stitches than they could count. I never felt them give me the epidural. I couldn't feel any pain but I could feel the push and the pressure.
This will be my first, but I am so close now that I honestly am not scared about any of it anymore - I am just ready for her to be here and be out of me! Women have been doing this for thousands of years. Why can't I do it?? That's the way I look at it. Granted, my petite little baby is only 4% for size, which will make delivery a lot easier.
When I had my son (first and only so far) I did it all natural, no drugs, vaginal birth in 2.5 hours. The only reason it was that long is because the nurse didn't want to deliver, I had to wait on the doctor. Everyones body is different. You will know if you "need" one or not. Personally I believe that epis are a cop-out. They are not needed. Your body naturally deals with pain and let me tell you, labor is not as painful as a lot of people make it seem. You will do just fine. Good luck doll!
I've said this before and people think I'm crazy! I'm not having a hospital birth but I've always said the epidural sounds super scary to me. They stick a needle in your spine then you can't feel anything, walk around, pee on your own. It sounds like an absolute nightmare to me! Personally, the idea of an epidural sounds scarier to me than labor pains.
I'd also be way too scared to get the epi then have it wear off and be surprised by bunch of really strong contractions that I didn't get to work up to. And from what I've heard other pain medications tend to ease the beginning and end of each contraction but don't help with the most painful part in the middle.
Good luck with whatever you choose, but it sounds to me like you're pretty confident you could go without the epi...
@KatyElle: what you said
Count your blessings it was only 3 hours, you got lucky
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| MissBoPeep | 81 |
| hisgoosiegirl | 45 |
| beargoose | 44 |
| Mrs.KMM | 41 |
| akp0702 | 41 |
| ndreighton | 38 |
| stardustintheeyes | 36 |
| MrsPom | 35 |
| BetterSherm | 35 |
| Beckster329 | 33 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| roxy821 | 9 |
| 2PeasinaPod | 7 |
| Running Elley | 7 |
| Jenn23 | 4 |
| Mrs Sarah McK | 4 |
| IslandLove07 | 4 |
| hopefulmama | 4 |
| abbyful | 3 |
| Lindsay05 | 3 |
| shimmerofheaven | 3 |
