Post # 1
- Wedding: January 2014 - Monte Carlo inn
I’m a first time mom and I’m expecting my son on July 2nd 2014. I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant and scared to death about labour! I can’t stop thinking about the pain and how it will turn out. I’m afraid of surgery (c-section) and I’m afraid my woman parts will never be the same after natural labour. what to do? 🙁
Post # 2
I am currently 36 1/2 weeks pregnant with my first, so I have no personal labor story to share.
However, I am admittedly a VERY anxious person about a lot of aspects of my life, and my pregnancy has been no exception. I think all of the thoughts and feelings you’re having are absolutely normal. I started having nightmares about going into labor around 28 weeks. I think it’s all about keeping things in perspective. As long as you’re doing what you can to keep yourself healthy, it’s out of your hands. There’s not much to do expect for have a little faith that everything is going to turn out well. I hate surgery and anything medical, but my wants for the baby to enter the world the healthiest she or he can be supercede those fears. I would talk about your fears to someone in your life you feel comfortable doing so. For me that’s my husband and my mother. Just saying things out loud sometimes helps. I hope you’re able to come to terms with your feelings. We’re always going to fear the unknown. Hang in there! 🙂
Hope this helps even a little bit.
Post # 3
Mrs_BunInTheOven: Not a mom, but I have heard from many many close ‘mom’ friends. Their theory…there is a reason women are preggo for 40 weeks, because where you are now (probably feeling pretty good, etc) at 28 weeks – labor would be or could be any women’s fear!! However, when they reached around 36-37 weeks, they were willing to DO ANYTHING to get their babies OUT, and I mean ANYTHING. The discomfort, lack of sleep, swelling…you name it…kinda pushed that fear out of the way, and replaced it with the option of being comfortable once more!!! I think you may hit that point too!
Post # 4
Mrs_BunInTheOven: I know women who aren’t anywhere near pregnant and they’re scared of labor! Lol! I think it’s normal and natural to be scared of the unknown – and how labor goes is definitely unknown because it’s unique to each woman and each pregnancy.
You should consider speaking with your mom or your Doctor – they may be able to put your mind at ease regarding the pain and help you figure out a birth plan that works best for you (just be aware that birth plans aren’t set in stone and can change).
Post # 5
I’m not pregnant yet, and I already think about labor. My friends tell me it is definitely hard, and there is some pain…but there is an end in sight at that point, even my friend who was in labor for 30+ hours said, she knew it would all be over soon and that kept her going.
I googled “positive birth stories”, and found a long book/article with uplifting positive stories, and that helped. I can send to you if you PM me.
And what everyone says is “your body was made for this”, makes sense. I keep telling myself that!
You can do it!
Post # 6
OUgal0004: This was very true for me!
Honestly, I had an epidural, so labor wasn’t that painful. It was mostly just exhausting! Recovery was worse in my opinion.
Post # 7
Mrs_BunInTheOven: I had never felt scared of labor. I mean, it’s natural and millions of women do it every year and sure it hurts, but it doesn’t last forever and you get a beautiful baby at the end! Then I got pregnant….now I vacillate between nervous/excited/scared/confident/uncertain, etc. It’s totally normal! I’m due July 24 and I plan on reading some books my friend (she’s had two kids and she’s a nurse) recommended- Dr. Sears and Ina May Gaskin. I also plan on doing a “Birthing from Within” Class and also a basic class on labor and birth class. I think imagining different outcomes in a neutral way is important. That way, no matter what happens, you’ll have imagined it, be a bit more mentally prepared, and know that it’s ok. And you get your baby at the end! Best of luck to you!
Post # 8
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I definitely agree with PP that says wait a few more weeks and you will be ready to get the baby out. The last few weeks of pregnancy can be painful and exhausting and the only way to end it is to give birth.
Have you taken any labor classes? I am big believer in Bradley and Hypnobirthing classes even if you plan to get an epi because the more you know, the lessed stressed you will be and the less stressed you are, the more you can deal with the pain.
Post # 9
Mrs_BunInTheOven: I think most women in their first pregnancy are frightened of labour, whether they will admit it or not. Everything new is a bit scary, including pregnancy, labour and motherhood.
Modern labour management offers mom so many options for pain management so rest assured you wil not be in agony. Aso keep in mind that many women do this more than once, so it can’t be all that bad. Mother nature does give us some amnesia regarding labour , so that helps too.
Take a course, read some of the recommended books. Keep a list of questions you want to ask your doctor so you don’t forget to ask them at your routine appointments.
I’ve had two babies with no epidurals and I’ve had kidney stones twice. I would do labour and delivery any day over kidney stones.
Post # 10
Mrs_BunInTheOven: I think you have to tell yourself: “Whatever happens, even if it’s very painful and even if it ends in a c-section, at some point it WILL be over. It doesn’t last forever.”
Post # 11
i’m not pregnant, and i’m terrified of labor. absolutely terrified. the idea of pushing a human out of a hole that is normally the size of a quarter doesn’t sound like fun to me. at all.
however, Jijitattoo is right. you have to think of the positive outcome- there’s gonna be a happy perfect baby at the end of everything. will it hurt? probably. will it be hard? mhm. but it’ll be worth it.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park
For me, I think of labor as being at the top of a mountain and having to get down even thought I might be exhausted and in pain — that’s the only way to get home, and I have to get there one way or another, so I try to make the best of it. I’m saying in my head to baby, “the only way out is down!”
Post # 13
Mrs_BunInTheOven: whatever you are expecting it to be like is so much worse then it actually is (assuming you plan on getting an epidural!) I was scared to death if the pain but didn’t feel a thing once I got the epidural (5 minutes after I gave birth I said that wasn’t so bad I will totally do it again!) it’s an amazing experience and I can’t wait to do it again. I got my epi at 5cm and the contractions before then hurt but not as bad as I thought. I definitely wouldn’t want to go natural though.
Your lady parts go back – trust me! They are auowe swollen after but mine looked normal after 2 or 3 days and 6 weeks later everything is healed up and back to normal.
You will be just fine! Try not to think about it and just let it happen. What goes in must come out so there’s no good to come from worrying!
Post # 14
I have a five week old. I am terrified of most things medical, and I was especially worried about winding up with an unnecessary c-section. I had very high anxiety about this during my pregnancy.
My husband and I took an 8-week Bradley class, and we also did a lot of research about hospitals and OBs/midwives as well as the standard medical interventions during labor. I wound up changing doctors and hospitals at the end of my second trimester, and I hired a doula. Based on my research, I put together a team that I thought would give me the best chance at following my birth plan.
I wound up with a 23-hour labor. I was trying for a natural birth but wound up getting an epidural after 17 hours because I felt stalled out. This turned out to be a good move because I needed some pitocin to remove the last lip on my cervix in order to start pushing out my son.
Labor was certainly not fun, but I am so glad that I did the groundwork to build a supportive team. My husband and I had a very positive experience, and I pretty much got exactly the birth I wanted.
I guess my point is that for me, lots of research and education helped a lot. And PPs are right… After a certain point you just want your pregnancy over with, and the only way for that to happen is to deliver your baby! Your mindset will shift as a result and you will want to get labor over with even more than you dread experiencing it.
Hang in there, and congrats on your pregnancy!
Post # 15
You poor thing, I think your anxiety is totally natural considered how our society views labor and childbirth. Check out this awesome website. Hopefully it can help you to feel a bit more confident.