Weddingbee boards

So I am a young mother (20) and have a 1 year old son. Me and my FI just moved two hours away from our home for my FI job. I am getting ready to start up my new school that I have transfered too and I will be gone all day. Its for cosmetology and I am already half way done but have about 6 more months to go. Cosmetology has an all day long schooling schedule (8-4pm) and its looking like my only option for my son is Daycare. Hes never had a babysitter he didnt know. Let alone I have only spent a total of 10 nights away from him. (8 of those included his NICU stay when he was born). The other 2 was when he was an infant and my mother kept him. Needless to say im sooo very scared to send him to a daycare. The horror stories Ive heard I just cant take the risk. He screams at the site of my FI leaving the room (hes def. a daddys boy) and hes just so sweet I cant even think of someone not treating him right. I cant stand the thought of how he would feel if he was treated bad and the guilt I would feel.

Another thing thats been bugging me is we are in the middle of potty training and I dont want to go pick him up and some woman tells me how great my son did on the potty today and I didnt see it. Or I would hate it if he sees this other woman all day and accidently calls her mommy. Theres just too much to risk and I hate it, but its looking like our only option. Any other daycare mommys out there? Any moms with advice?????

Thanks guys. I dont know......I just hear so many bad things that have happened to children at daycares I just cant imagine! I hate to hear tragady stories and I dont want my son to just be a daycares "accident". Ya know that story that they say to other parents "well we've only had 1 mishap". Well your one MISHAP ruined my sons life. When I was little I lived across the street from a lady to ran a daycare and I played often with the other kids. The daycare provider was a wonderful trustworthy lady who had the biggest heart, but since there was many kids there were many many accidents. I remember one time being about 6 years old and watching one of the toddlers setting their hand on the stove burner and burning themselves. I know when you get alot of kids together things happen. I just hate hearing about big things happening......Grrr I hate being so over the top about this!

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Its so reassuring to hear all the words of encouragement! Yes girls, It wouldnt be forever. Only about 6 months for all day. Then I'm only planning on working part time. We are very lucky enough to have my FI work a good job with benifits. So once my schooling is done I want to work part time. I wasnt planning on being a young mom but life happened and even being so young I cant imagine anything happening to my little guy. Nor would I trade him for the world. I just really need and cant wait to get my schooling transfered and done.

P.S. You might also see me on the wedding boards too! ALOT is going on right now. Emotional rollercoaster! So bear with me girls!!! Thanks again......Oh I love this site!

I want to offer a different perspective for a second...I personally grew up with parents that both worked and I was always in daycare. I never went to a daycare "center" we were always in home daycares. Someone above mentioned something about daycare centers being able to do fieldtrips, projects, etc but I had every one of those opportunities in a home daycare setting. We went on a fieldtrip weekly, went to the library constantly, went swimming, etc. It was nice because I was able to be with my big sister (which I understand is not the case for your child) but had we been in a daycare center we would have most likely been separated into different age groups. Some of our best friends today are ones we met at daycare. My sister's MOH was on of our daycare ladies daughters. I think daycare was also great for us socially. I learned so mcuh about sharing and how to communicate and it really helped with my separation anxiety. As a child I was very shy and didn't like to be away from my mom. However, I have nothing but positive memories from daycare. I'm sure "accidents" happen, I'm sure I scrapped my knee and cried at times but that's part of being a kid. I know you're nervous and scared (it's understandable, it's your son we're talking about here) but he will be fine and so will you! I wish you the best of luck with your new career.

Yeah, I did do part time when I was pregnant but I was diagnosed with pre eclampsia in my 7th month and was off of school for around 6 months, due to hospital stays and my son being premie. Thennn A few weeks after I went back to school I was in a car accidnet, sooo a few months later I went back again and me and my FI moved for his job so I'm tranfering. Cosmetology usually only takes about 10 months to complete. Im going on 2 1/2 years now. It sooo time to get done! Or else I would very much so do part time!!!!

I'm a teacher and have taught preschool for years, along with caring for young children in daycare centers. I think the best advice is what other's have said: research! Be aggressive with it; pop in to check out the place unexpectedly, ask a lot of questions, and look into all types of care (home or center-based).

I worked in centers that were wonderful and one other that wasn't a place I'd want my child to go. Ask about their turn-over rate (the center that was bad had caregivers coming and going like crazy), the education of the caregivers (most of the women working there were doing it for the free care for their own child and weren't particularly interested in giving other children the best care), the ratios (ideally, they should be lower than the state mandates), and ask how many children are actually enrolled in the room your son would be in (if they have many more children enrolled than the ratio allows, parents could drop off at unexpected times leading to crowding).

Then make sure to check up on their answers by coming in for an unscheduled visit. It's easy to say one thing in an office, but you need the proof of seeing how a "normal" day goes.

I think it's a good thing you're doing for your son and try not to feel too guilty about it. He's going to learn great social skills and you'll be in a better position to provide for your family. As a warning, he'll definitely cry when you drop him off, but most children stop very quickly after the parent leaves (I only met one child in 8 years who cried non-stop. He was 5 and had never spent even one day away from his mother, which didn't turn out to serve him very well).

As a side note, I have been routinely called "Mommy" or "Momma". It could be my name (Molly) is similar. I look at it as knowing the students are so comfortable at school that they'll slip like that. Believe me, he'll know your his mother :)