Post # 1
So my fiancé and I recently got engaged. I wrote an entry before regarding our friends not being happy with us getting engaged because they were getting engaged too. Well now those people are out of our lives and to be honest it is has been a lot better and less dramatic. The problem is that I work with one of their close friend. Our office is very small and us along with 3 other girls hang out and talk during lunch every day. It seems like every time I talk to this girl ( Jenny) and our other co-worker about my wedding planning they brush me off. I know that jenny does this because she stays 100% loyal to my exfriends but I find it so sad because I have honestly never done anything to her. We get along pretty well at work. But I hesitate to share with them every time something good happens to me because I have the feeling that they just don’t want to hear it. Although all day every day I have to hear about their lives… Lately a lot of nice things have been happening for me fiancé and I which I’m a little freaked out by because I haven’t always had the best of luck…
My bday is next week and my fiancé has surprised me with trading in my old car for a brand new Audi. He has a pretty good credit and when realizing how much I was wasting in my current car payments for my really old car he decided it was best for us to trade it in while we still could get some good money out of it. So now my payments will be much lower and I will actually have something that works and doesn’t break down. Now what I am a little afraid of is that these girls are going to think I’m a show off for having such a luxurious car like an Audi. My fiancé wants us to get something that will include a long warranty and other perks and luxury cars come with them. I know this might be silly but I don’t know how to break it to my co-workers. We carpool every day during lunch so eventually they are going to see my new car. I don’t want to come off snobby. I work really hard for what I have and so do they but my fiancé does have a very good job and works really hard to give us a nice life, so our apartment, trips wedding etc. might make others think we try too hard. How do I tell them he got me a new car without them thinking I’m ridiculous for getting such a nice car? I know it might be stupid, but they make me feel really uncomfortable about my wedding spending and other good things that have been happening to us…
Post # 3
What YOU do with YOUR money is nobody else’s business. It’s rude of them to be presumptuous anyway. Enjoy your new car 🙂
Post # 4
It sounds to me that they might be a bit jealous of your upcoming wedding and I am sure they will about the car as well. Obviously that is something that they need to get over and you can’t hide the new car. I would just try not to rub it in their faces. If they do not want to talk to you about your upcoming wedding, do not bring it up around them. You should share all of this exciting news with people who are happy for you! And if it feels like no one is, you always have the bee =)
Post # 5
It sucks they are making you feel uncomfortable and it is an awful situation to be in. You have no one to answer to but yourself (ok, maybe FI, hehe). Do not be embarassed of your pretty new car. If they say something, just explain how chosing the Audi made sense for you and your FI. That’s it.
It does not sound like these girls are not true friends. Keep your relationship friendly at work to avoid drama and just focus on doing a good job at work and coming home to your FI.
Post # 6
i don’t think you need to warn them ahead of time you got a new car – THAT will come off as kind of snobby. Just get it and they will see it when you carpool. It’s not their business how you spend your money.
I think you should reevaluate your friendship with these people though.
Post # 7
I don’t really discuss my personal life with many people from work. I have 2-3 friends I talk with and the rest are just acquaintences. I also don’t care what people think.
Try not to be so insecure around these girls. It will serve you well. 🙂
Congrats on the engagement and new car!
Post # 8
I wouldn’t say anything. I would just wait until they see the car and then tell them the reason behind your new car. It doesn’t matter if they are loyal friends to your exfriend. If you never did anything to them, then they shouldn’t choose sides. I’m sorry to say but that is not a true friend to you. And knowing that they are being shady with you, why would you want to tell her anything knowing she is probably just telling your exfriend everything you are saying. You shouldn’t care what people think. Especially if you are doing good, they should be happy for you no matter what. Not criticizing, real friends don’t do that. I dropped my friends because they were always too negative, instead of being happy for me. In your case, they are coworkers, I just wouldn’t be so personable with them anymore.
Post # 9
I dont know why you need to give them any details? If they comment about the new car just say “yup, it was time to invest in a new car”. And drop it.
Post # 10
If these people hold you discussing your personal life events or getting a new, nice car against you — why are you including them in your life on a daily basis? What kind of person actually AGREES that someone is in the right for being mad at another couple for getting engaged around the same time as them!?!? Life is stressful enough without being weighed down by what coworkers may or may not think about details of YOUR life. Don’t they have enough going on in their own?
I drive a beautiful luxury car that cost more than my current annual salary (and it’s a decent salary!) — gifted out right to me by my dad, free and clear. I don’t give a crap if anyone thinks I am a snob, or spoiled, or what — I don’t act like one, I know I am not one, and I surround myself with amazing friends that are not only there for the fun times, but would be there for me any time I needed ANYthing regardless what I drive or what life events I am currently excited about. My friends love me and choose to include me in their lives because I am a relentlessly loyal, supportive, positive presence to them. Most have never even commented on my car and the ones that have say it’s gorgeous and “fits me.” Among my friend group, if anyone said anything negative about someone having nice things I think THEY would look like the one with the problem.
You have a great life and great things going on — definitely reevaluate who you choose to surround yourself with. This is a ton of extra worry and stress on you that should not be and does not have to be there at all. I too also choose to keep my personal and work life separate, as another poster suggested — I have found this to minimize drama in my life. You can’t choose coworkers, but you can choose your friends. Choose supportive, positive, non-dramatic and non-jealous types, and life will be much, much happier.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t bother expecting them to be excited for you, but I wouldn’t hide the things in your life that you are excited about. If they ask about it, be honest about it. They may talk crap about it behind your back, but that just shows how immature they are and jealous. There are always going to be people who are like that and it’s frustrating because you want to just smack them and get them to grow up. I’m sorry you have to deal with them, but don’t feel insecure because of them.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t tell them, they will eventually see you in the new car.
Post # 15
They don’t need to know anything about how you got the new car. When they see it, if they ask you about it, you can just say “we traded it in”.