Weddingbee boards

I thought we had it figured out, and everything was looking great, then we hit a huge snag -- our Venue's Wedding Coordinator quit!  :( So we've had to start from scratch with the new one, and have run into a few surprises and changes. This one is for scheduling the day-of.

Background:

We are hosting a local-destination wedding less than 2 hours from home. This made the most sense for us, since 1/2 our guest list lives very far away and will need lodging, and local hotels/venues are super expensive (city), so we booked a rural place with everything on site.

Since guests are paying for lodging, we wanted to make sure we could keep them fed, for the most part, so we arranged the day-of schedule around what we thought was a 9-11am breakfast:

9-11am breakfast

2:30 ceremony

3:00 tea time & lawn games (non-alcoholic drinks, finger foods, snacks, and lots of time for lounging outside with activities)

6:00 dinner & dancing ("normal" reception, indoors in ballroom)

We also figured no one would want to eat a giant wedding meal midday in the summer (late June), especially if the weather is nice, with a lake and acres of property to play with. We could host the reception meal outdoors, but rain is a huge risk in June. So we planned the dinner & dancing for the ballroom for later at night -- in case of rain, but also certainly for mosquitoes -- so as to spend more time outside.  (It is easy to move the ceremony indoors if it rains, but more complicated to move all of catering inside for a sudden downpour.)

BUT -- the new WC has informed us that the chef will not serve breakfast later than 9:30am, to make room for lunch prep in the kitchen at 11am. She told us "guests can buy their own lunch", which we've insisted we don't feel comfortable with, given the high lodging costs. So our only option is to move the entire schedule up by an hour or two, so that no one is starving (myself included! I get dizzy and cranky when hungry).

The new schedule could look like this:

7:30-9:30am breakfast

1:00 ceremony

1:30 tea time & lawn games

5:00 dinner & dancing

This IS better for the local guests, who might not afford or do not have time to stay all weekend, and now have more time to drive home earlier at night.  But I still have some concerns:

• Is 1:30 too early for "tea"?
• Are finger foods enough to tide people over mid-day?
• Should we do the cake earlier -- during "tea time" -- like some southern/mid-west traditions?
• Is there too much dead time now between the ceremony and the dinner?
• Or do we need to re-think our whole game plan, and re-write the schedule altogether?
• Are people going to be hungry again by 10pm, when the reception officially ends, and what do we do then?
• Or do we stick to our original schedule, and leave weekend guests to do their own thing from 9:30-2:30, including feeding themselves if hungry? (We're providing canoes, hula hoops, bocce, etc. and there are hiking, biking, and mountain climbing trails nearby, as well as swimming in the lake.)

I know that technically, we are only responsible for scheduled event meals, like the rehearsal dinner and reception food. And we cannot afford to keep people fed all weekend, all the time.  I also feel like things are starting to get way too complicated.

Our goal is a laid-back, chilled out weekend, and I want the schedule to help with that, not hinder it.

Advice, bees?

@kitzy:

I had it written down as 9-11 in my notes, but couldn't find the email for where that info came from. (And let's just say, the previous WC did not take great notes or clear answers all the time, so even with solid email evidence, we lost a battle on a different topic with the new GM/WC.)

What I didn't get was, why would the chef need to serve lunch at all, if the whole Inn is booked for the wedding? If the whole Inn is wedding guests, then the schedule should be able to do whatever...but it is a big property, and I think they still want a real weekend lunch crowd from the general public in their restaraunt (away from our wedding stuff).

@julies1949:

e the original schedule:

If the chef won't do breakfast after 9:30 am, would the venue consider leaving the cold things-nuffins, fruit, cheese etc out on a covered buffet for those who would rather sleep in a bit or arrive that morning?

I believe we asked them about this, as got a semi-positive response, but we'll have to verify it in writing.

Re the proposed earlier schedule:

Some people may find the breakfast availablity to be a  little early. Would they be able to purchase their own breakfast later , or is it completely unavailable after 9:30?

Completely unavailable, aside from maybe muffins etc stated above.

I find 7:30-9:30 way too early, considering our 8pm welcome reception the night before (when most guests will arrive), which will go to at least midnight (barn dance!).  I had planned to be at breakfast at 9ish, regardless of scheduling.

Does the venue have coffeemakers in the rooms? If so, would the venue be able to deliver breakfast baskets to the rooms of those who indicate ahead of time that they would prefer to sleep in? These baskets could contain the usual continental breakfast items- muffins, fruit, juice etc and FRESH CREAMERS( so they don't have to use that yucky fake creamer) and extra coffee.

Not sure -- I know the cabins by the lake have no coffee makers, but the Main Inn rooms might. But I highly doubt they would do a room delivery of breakfast for late-sleepers without a huge fee to us!

We are giving overnight guests a welcome bag with a bottle of homebrew, cookies, flashlight, maps, and possibly homemade jam. I figured they would have that for whenever they are hungry over the 48 hours. (Maybe add cheese & crackers for the jam?) Those WILL be delivered to the rooms, for free, before guests arrive on Friday.

After all is said, if the guests know the schedule ahead of time they can make do with whatever is available, and both schedules will work.

I'm less concerened with who eats breakfast when, as I am with who will want to eat a full meal between 12pm and 5pm, or be too hungry, or be mad they have to buy their own lunch.  Which is why I considered making cake part of the tea time, or moving the whole schedule up. 

@The Unsuspecting Bride:

Good advice! 

I considered letting the schedule stay at 2:30, for those guests who may want to mountain climb (get up at 7:30 to eat then hit Monadnock), or for anyone else who wants to just wander around, explore, etc.

I'm just not sure how antsy me & the groom will be either, from 9:30-2:30, waiting to get the ceremony over with! I know I'll need time to chill, get ready, etc., but that seems like HOURS...and he'll be restless too. I know neither of us will be able to relax until after the ceremony is over.

Trying to accomodate or anticipate everyone's needs has made the planning far more complicated than if I had just been a bridezilla ("MY WAY!"). LOL.

But yes -- we'll be posting the full schedule on the website. It was already posted there, but I had to take it down when the breakfast thing threw off the entire day! I need to decide soon, so I can start on invites.

Follow-up -- For simplicity, we've decided to set up Saturday's schedule so far as:

7:30-9:30am Breakfast

2pm Ceremony

Immediately following ceremony: Tea Time & Lawn Games

Early evening: Dinner & dancing

This is roughly how it will appear on our wedding website & invites.

We're currently thinking dinner around 6pm, though I'm still second-guessing that time frame. Either we will all be starving by then (hoping lunch/tea time snacks help tide us over), or bored with aimless wandering outdoors, or we may have rain to deal with (lag time is easier to deal with outside than indoors).

By keeping the timeline in "rough sketch" form for the reception activities, it lets us be a bit more flexible. At some point the venue's chef might want to nail us down on exacts, but I'm going to ask us how flexible they can be the day of, in case of rain (ie: bumping dinner earlier).