Weddingbee boards

Sorry in advance for how whiny this is going to sound but I really needed to get this out:

I have my last two exams tomorrow and for one of my classes, I think I am going to just have to do as much studying as I can until 9 a.m., and then BEG my professor for a C-, which I don't even deserve considering the complete lack of interest and motivation I have for this class, and the amount of work I have put into it (nothing.)

I am so worried becasue I really just need to get out of here and should have been able to get an A in this class if I could find it in myself to put the effort in, but I just can't. There are so many more exciting things coming up in the new future (like getting engaged!) and it is so unbelievably difficult to focus. I am notorious for procrastination (like right now!), and every time I come back to school I fall into the worst depressions and develop anxiety issues that disappear once I am back home near SO and my family.

I just wish I could find it in myself to be the same person that got into this school in the first place, before it stomped all over me and drained me to the point that if I don't pass this class (the last one I need to graduate) I don't know if I could even bring myself to come back.

Of course, none of my family understands because they just tell me I should be lucky to have the opportunity to go to a prestigious university and to stop complaining. If only they knew what it felt like to be here. The only real friend I have here has such bad anxiety issues and strange belief structures that she stresses me out, and everyone else I just really can't stand or fit in with for one reason or another. I'm a social person! I need human interaction! And I just honestly don't care about learning material for a class for a degree I'm not even going to use, and mad that my parents made me stay here instead of transferring to a school closer to home where I could have guaranteed gotten full scholarship instead of blowing close to $200,000 to come out miserable and broken with no idea what I want to do with my life career-wise.

/end rant

Thanks! Just being away from everything good in life and having to live every day in an apartment building infested with roaches and mice, surrounded by miserable people sucks! Luckily it's over tomorrow no matter what.

Hang in there.  I know how you feel to be unmotivated.  I had a terrible case of senior-itis my last, oh, 3 years of my first degree.

Are your parents paying?  If they are not then maybe it's time to make your own executive decision.  Why should you be saddled with a ton of debt for someone else's dream for you? 

If you feel like you can't talk to your parents and can't transfer schools then at least look into counceling services on campus.  I can't tell you how many times they helped me out.  They are most likely already built into your tuition cost, so utilize them. 

ETA:  I just re-read your post and it seems this is your last semester.  Hang in there.  I'm sure everything will be okay.  However, my advice stands to anyone who might find themselves in your position.

Thanks for all the support, guys! yes, my parents are paying, for which I am very grateful. I finished all my exams (two within 4 hours this morning on 0 sleep! #TIH) so now it's just a waiting game...