Post # 1
Okay, so my FI would love it if we could seat members of both of our families at the same table. There are some members of both families that would seem like they would have a lot in common. I am American, and he is Puerto Rican, though his family does speak English very well. I think it is a great idea, since we are combining the families and these people will be seeing each other on occasion and it would be nice if they could get to know each other on their own, instead of us introducing them all the time. My mother balked a little, saying it may not be a good idea, especially with a certain set of pairings. I think it would be great! I know his family loves being together and talking in their native language, but I figured for at least dinner it would be okay. Then everyone could mingle. Thoughts?
Post # 2
brendaray2009: In theory it sounds nice but some people might be uncomfortable with strangers (just because you and your new husband will be technically sharing a family doesn’t mean your great aunt and his 3rd cousin are likely to see each other ever again.) You risk the chance of people switching tables altogether to be with more people they know.
Post # 3
I am rather shy and would much rather spend dinner with people I know over the B&G trying to “set us up” with other couples. It sounds nice in theory but I personally wouldn’t enjoy it. Most of your family members will likely not see each other very much after the wedding.
Post # 4
I agree with what the previous two posters have said. I considered this for my wedding, but generally got negative feedback. I even thought that it would be nice to put the kids at one table, but the message came back loud and clear that even the kids wanted to be with their family. In the end, I did not do it.
Post # 5
If there are enough people on each side so that no one feels stranded, then I think it could work. For example, 5 from each where the 5 on each side know eachother well.
You’d just have to spend more time thinking about the seating and about who will get along with who and who might be upset to be separated from certain people.
Post # 6
I’d rather sit with people I know. We’ll be sitting there for 4 hours and there will be long periods, of awkward silence, if we don’t know our tablemates.
That happened to us, at a family wedding years ago. We were assigned to at a rectangular table of 12, which is awkward in itself, and we only knew 2 people. Unfortunately, it was a distant cousin of my mom’s and we couldn’t wait to leave. (Obnoxious, foul language, alcoholic – weren’t we lucky?).
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2015 - Calamigos Ranch
brendaray2009: I actually think that mixing family (and friends) is perfectly fine. I am planning to do it for my wedding as well. Of course there are some cases where all family tables make sense, I also think there are cases where a mixed table makes sense. For example, my fiance and I have older cousins who have children and younger cousins who are single. Why would we seat the young single cousins with the married couples and kids? I’m planning to seat them with our single friends and opposite family single cousing of the same age near the dance floor where they can have fun! I think that when you go to someone’s wedding you also owe it to them to be a good guest (after all they are shelling out a lot of money to feed and entertain you for the night). The least they can do is make pleasant conversation during dinner (what, a whole hour?) and then go mingle with their preferred people once dancing starts.
PS: I’m Puerto Rican and we’re typically super friendly and outgoing folks who love to dance. My fiance’s family is Jewish–a little more reserved but outgoing as well.
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
brendaray2009: I think as long as they know a couple other people at the table it should be fine. We are mixing our families together. Siblings at one table, parents at another. Then again we have small families so it worked out well.
Post # 9
I love the idea behind it but ive been a guest at weddings where people did this and honestly I just felt uncomfortable. At one we were on a table of 8, 4 of us knew each other (under 35), the other 4 knew each other (50-70) and the only time we spoke together was when one of the other couples asked my boyfriend and I why we lived together but werent engaged (at the time). I think if you do pair families up, make sure that you know they will have things in common with the other people on the table and keep ages similar if possible.
Post # 10
brendaray2009: We’re mixing our families up. We want them to get to know each other and feel relaxed with each other for the dancing etc. If there’s a few pairings that won’t work just make sure to avoid those but other than that I think it’s a lovely idea and reflects the idea of a wedding being a joining of two families.
ETA: obviously we’re keeping couples together and children with their parents etc. We have four tables so one will be just friends. The other three, he will have one of his three siblings on each with their partners/children and my 5 siblings will be two on two of the tables and the one that has a partner on the third table with her partner. Grandparents/aunts/unlces will be spread across the three tables (still keeping couples together), but obviously as there is a sibling from each side on every table they will all know someone.
Post # 11
The negative responses are so strange to me. At almost every wedding I go to I end up with strangers. That’s how you make new friends! You learn about each other, pour each other wine. Egg each other into doing shots. Egg each other into doing MORE shots. But then again I’m super outgoing and tend to get put at the outgoing cool kids table lol.
Post # 12
I’d rather sit with people I know, but obviously I’d deal with it. At the very least I think immediate families should be kept together. My dad gets so pissed when he has to go sit at a different table with my mom away from us, lol.
Post # 13
I hate this idea so much. My brother and I once got seated at a table full of strangers at a family wedding and it was so uncomfortable. That’s all it accomplished, making us all uncomfortable. As soon as supper was over we squeezed in at a table with family and it was much better. I don’t understand the logic of trying to force your two families to get to know each other either. They will get to know each other naturally over time, I don’t think making them sit together will help as much as you think it will. People who like to mingle will mingle regardless of your seating chart, and people who don’t like it won’t. I’ve danced and chatted with plenty of strangers at weddings and other functions, but I’m much more comfortable when I’m seated with family or friends that I know.
Post # 14
We are mixing our families so that they can get to know each other. We are also having a kids’ section with two sitters, kids’ activities and toys.