Seating Chart And No Responses

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

This happened to us- we basically just assumed that if they couldn’t be bothered to let us know if they were coming we would mark them as a ‘no’.  We did have someone show up anyway, and they sat at the extra table in the back.  I told them I was very glad they were able to make it after all but since they didn’t reply and select a meal I couldn’t guarantee that they would get one.  We had a few no-shows as well, so I asked that one of those meals be given to that guest.


Post # 4
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Luckily we were able to get in touch with the stragglers so we didn’t have this issue. Grrrr why do people have to be so last minute?  Sorry you are going through this … I know it can be very annoying.


Post # 5
9859 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@bellaboo79:  where you have a table of people, I would put them together at 1 table, if none of them show you can probably have it removed discretely.  If they do, they have a place to sit.  I know my caterer says that they will be prepared for a few extra of each meal choice in case people show up unexpectedly or change their mind about what they want to eat.

Post # 6
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you are calling and leaving messages for people and they are failing to respond…it’s safe to assume they aren’t coming. IMO, there is no reason to go out of your way to set a table for people who can’t be bothered to take one minute to say yes or no. 

If you want to be more gracious than me…I agree with other posters. If you can’t track them down, have an extra table set. If they don’t show up, have the extra table discreetly removed during the tail-end of the cocktail hour (if you are having one). 

Post # 7
8503 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I have around 6 missing people right now.  I assume they aren’t coming and I did not assign them tables. 

I have a lot of lounge furniture in the bar area so if one of them shows up they can just sit in there!  That’s how I feel about people who don’t RSVP and then ignore your messages!

Post # 8
2047 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@bellaboo79:  On saturday I would phone them if you have their number and leave them a voicemail saying

“hey hows it going, so excited for next weekend. I actually need to give in our final numbers to the caterer/for seating arrangements and we havent heard officially from you guys so I need to know by tomorrow if your a yes, otherwise we may not have space if we hear after that time. Hope to see you guys, cant wait!”

if you dont hear from them by the end of the weekend then mark them as no…and if they show up you can say you tried social media and calling… they didnt respond. Chances are if it happens your venue will be able to sqweeze them in a table but they will have some “egg on their face”, and probably will think twice about doing that again to someone else!!

Post # 9
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

This happened to us too. We assumed they weren’t coming. They didn’t. If they had come, the DOCs were ready to put them at the few tables that had empty spots. Since we were doing a buffet, we weren’t too worried about food.

Post # 10
6171 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

no response = not coming.  i wouldn’t waste anymore time.


Post # 11
2319 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would assume they’re not coming.

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