Post # 1
So here it is….
I already have a very complicated setaing chart/place card project ahead of me next week with having a sit down dinner. Well the MOG is trying to schedule time with me to make the seating chart. I politely told her that I would be doing this part. She then told me about guests requests of where they wanted to sit…. i dont know who is rude enough to do that but whatever. I caved a bit and told her if she sends me an email I will try to accomodate, however I am not making this more complicated than it already is.
Luckily my FI stood up for me in her presence….good man!
Well I have told her multiple times that I am doing round tables of 8. Now she wants to have some 9 and 10…. and 10 is crowded and i really like to have things even. I want to tell her that she can have less than 8 but no more than 8.
I feel like this is just uneccessary drama that i dont need right now. I am meeting with my event coordinator today and I guess i will ask her advice as well.
your thoughts? I understand that some requests are legit like elderly people, or if people only know one person etc, but she is putting the emphasis like well i dont think this person likes this person or this person requested to sit with this person…. i mean really this is a formal affair not a middle school lunch room.
Post # 3
Hi Date Twin!
Here’s what I’ve discovered in these last few weeks–I am so tired, and so overwhelmed that when something like this comes up, I sit on it for a few minutes at first, and try to decide how much it matters to me. And if it matters at all, why.
I’m facing the same thing with my tables. If 10 is legitimately too crowded for you, I personally wouldn’t want my guests to feel squished. However, if 9 is feasible, and the only thing stopping you is a distate for odd numbers (which I totally share!) in my case, I let it go. People won’t even think about it, and I doubt I will even notice (or care) on that day.
There are absolutely issues worth going to the mat for, I just don’t think this is one of them. And you already said it nicely yourself you can “try to accomodate”, but you make no guarantees. It works out how it works out.
Post # 4
i think it is more of the fact that i feel like i need to stand my ground or she will take over. Like if i tell her send me a list and I will do what i can but i am sticking to 8 things will be fine.
I think if i say okay to uneven tables, then it will just be another email like oh cant we get together to work on this or i made the chart, here it is… or soemthing.
I feel like she should back down and realize that all of these decisions are up to me.
Post # 5
I understand the need to only have 8 people (we’re facing the same problem, but it’s FI that wants 10), but I think you need to take into consideration where people might want to sit, especially if you don’t know the people. You never know what ‘secrets’ might be hidden as to why they don’t want to sit with Great Uncle Jim.
Post # 6
@blingqueen: I think that what you told her was fine…to e-mail you the requests and that you will take them into consideration when YOU do the seating chart. I also dislike odd numbers so I wouldn’t budge on having 8 guests per table if it were me =) I wouldn’t even explain it to her…just give it to her as a cold, hard fact. Weddings are stressful but one of the things I have learned through planning both my younger siblings’ weddings is that people will only stress you out as much as you let them. State your intentions, be firm, and refuse to address the issue anymore. You will be surprised at how well it works.
Post # 7
thanks so much! I guess my hang up is that i just think it is rude.
Post # 8
It is good to stand your ground and do it the way you want it. Personally I’m not crazy about arranged seating though, I wanna have fun and sit with whom I please rather than being told where to sit, but thats just me
Post # 9
I just got done with our seating chart. Basically, i put together my tables (friends, etc), my mother did hers, and FMIL did hers. FMIL requested that I let her arrange her tables which I was fine with – I don’t know her friends that well and didn’t know who they would want sitting with who. Same with my mother – she knew who she wanted everyone to sit with and preferred to do it herself.
Most of the round tables have 8 but we have several with 9. I don’t think having uneven tables is a big deal. I have several single friends coming w/o dates so it just happened to work out that way!
Good luck 🙂
Post # 10
i have to do assigned seating beaust of the sit down dinner.