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I can't wait to see the results from this! I'm really not sure what I want to do, either!
We didn't have a seating chart. We also had a very small number of people that came though (about 40).
We're doing it to avoid the middle school "omg where do I sit" thing. There'll be some cliquey groups attending and then a lot of couples who don't know each other, so I really don't want to have one quiet end of a table and then a completely loud one. So to make everyone comfortable, we're using a chart.
As much of a pain in the butt as it's going to be, I think we are going to end up doing it. I've only been to one wedding without table assignments and it was totally a mad dash to the tables so people could sit with certain people and not others - it was kind of awkward. Plus we have groups of family members that need to sit together, etc. I know on the day of it's not my problem and I won't care about where people are sitting, who doesn't like their table, etc., but I think we're just gonna suck it up and do it. Our venue is kind of a weirdly layed out space, too - there will be different rooms and stuff and, terrible as this sounds, certain people rank higher than others and will be seated in the room with us and other people are gonna have to get shoved in the other room.
we're doing one. my fi wanted to, i didn't, and it was one of those "pick your battle" kind of things so i let him win. also, he promised to help A LOT with the seating chart. my brother didn't have a seating chart at his wedding, and it was a little over 200. they reserved seats for important family members (even though people stole those seats), it still turned out fine.
If we have long tables or banquet style seating, I don't see the need. If we have smaller tables that can only seat eight or so, maybe. It's one of those things about weddings that makes me go "Really? Seriously, you can't seat yourself without it being a problem?" Seating charts, floral centerpieces, and bridal party clothes are on my list of "Make somebody else deal with it." :P
I am in the same situation as artbee my fiancé wants it and I don't. He thinks that things would be too crazy otherwise. He also promised to do all of the charting with minimal help from me which is great! We'll see!
im more into open seating. my family is more laid back and it would cause too much fuss to assign people.
I do think it can be awkward without a seating chart for guests who don't know many other guests or for large groups, or unusual table setups. Even for a traditional setup, it is so awkward sometimes trying to get seats with people you want to sit with. I just came from a couple of holiday parties at work where we all picked our seats for the dinner, and it was like a mad rush to sit with people you like and avoid those you don't.
For our wedding, we are having a dinner for 75 guests in one room and will assign people to tables but not to specific seats at that table.
We're having a strolling type of reception with only a few large round tables, several pub tables, 4 tops, 2 tops, etc. We're not doing a seating chart. These people are adults and should be able to figure it out.
We are assigning tables, but not actual seats. We don't want to do open seating because we have around 200 people coming, and I wouldn't want to end up having couples or families have to split up or want to leave because they got there last and there was only one chair at a few different tables open.
I agree with Minutiae that this falls into the someone else can worry about it. I will have a smaller wedding and I think we can all play nice and seat ourselves. Hope I am not kidding myself :)
I personally feel like it is another responsibility of the couple for your guest's experience. I personally know that I would not want to be scrapping for seats at a formal event. I think that guests need direction, plain and simple. The same way you prepare them for cocktail style reception, or outdoor reception, suggest accomodations, OOT bags, etc, all things that would be easier to avoid, but is nice to do.
Besides, what about the single people that come and take a seat, leaving one empty seat at a table that is set for an even number. Then you have a bunch of tables with single empty seats and couples that will be split, b/c their table is one short. Should they ask the single person to get up so they can sit together? Or, you realize their is no specific tables, so you rush to leave your coat/purse to ensure you have a seat.
I don't see it as guests aren't "adult" enough to find a seat. It's just a courtesy. People have different conversational needs. Putting all the loudmouths together is a disaster. The idea is to spread the conversation starters out so that everyone enjoys themselves.
Oh gosh oh gosh, please have a seating chart! I have been to weddings without one and it is a mess! Even if it's under 50 people. Trust me - word gets out to close family and friends that there is no chart and there's a mad rush to the tables and people have to awkwardly leave things in a seat to reserve it. It makes the event less classy. And I don't get the argument when people say "Oh, we're more laid back" because it makes things very stressful for your guests! And keep in mind, these are two families that don't really know each other so double awkward claiming the 'good' tables!
My point is, you don't want to put people in a position where they're rushing to reserve a seat or figuring out how to fit another chair in an already crowded table instead of casually enjoying cocktail hour and having conversations.
I've never been to a wedding that didn't have assigned seating in some form. For me, it seemed like a headache to make people worry about having enough seats at a table or leaving some tables crowded while others were empty. We assigned tables, but let people select their individual seats at the tables. This worked out really well.
We assigned tables. It worked out well. A couple of people moved from a sparse table to one with more people at it and it was fine. Assigned tables also keep Grandma away with the speakers and the dancers near the dance floor.
We're not doing a seating chart, we're doing assigned tables. I.E. the Jones family and the Smith couple are sitting at table 8. That way, I didn't have to worry over who was sitting where, but also, my college buddies didn't get stuck next to my cousin and her newborn. I also thought it would be a good idea to keep families together, so my newly-divorced cousin with 3 kids under 4 can sit with her parents and they can help out with the 1.5 year old twins. I think it may be a pain, but table assignments are the way to go. We're having 10 person rounds, so I just know to assign 10 people to each table.
So I'm really doing an escort card system. And since I'm not doing place cards, then I only have to do one card per family, not per person, so I am saving costs.
I agree with OTB, I think assigned tables are better, so as long as they have the table they are assigned to, they can sit wherever they want at the table. Great idea!
We did it and I'm glad we did. I've been to wedding with no assigned tables and it never works out right!
For us it was a major PITA b/c our favors were doubling as escort cards. I couldn't finish the favors until we had the seating chart done and I couldn't finish the seating chart until we had all RSVPs finalized. So many people made last minute changes to their RSVPs and my Husband ended up running around like a crazy person trying to change the seating chart and print the labels for the favors the day before the wedding! My cousins put the labels on the favors while we were at the rehearsal dinner (thank God for wonderful cousins!).
So my adivce is to not link your placecards to ANYTHING b/c they will be a last minute project!
We're definately doing a seating plan, I've never been to a wedding that didn't have one, it's just the norm here. We're having a sit down meal and I know when people move around it is a nightmare for the catering staff.
I voted "other" because we're not doing a seating chart even though I do see the need for it. I agree with others that having at least assigned tables is a big relief for the guests who don't have to worry about rushing to sit with people they know, or getting pushed out of tables they wanted to sit at, or combining in awkward solos or couples. But I just don't know that I want the headache of putting together a seating chart when I know there will be people who won't RSVP. People who don't show up who said they will, people who do show up who never said they would, I just don't want to be playing wedding-guest-tetris the day before my wedding. Maybe we'll change our minds and at minimum go with assigned tables, we'll see. We've only got about 50 people expected to come, and about 8-person tables, so one would hope it wouldn't be that much work to slip people into the tables.
If we do a meal, yes, we'll have one. But we're leaning towards a cocktail reception, and don't see a need for one there.
We didn't do one. Then again, a) we had a cocktail reception, and b) pretty much everyone at the reception knew each other, so we weren't dealing with trying to make sure that people could be seated with people they knew.
I really want long tressle tables cos I want for our reception to be very casual and I really wanted for everyone to be on the same level and for people to be able to mingle and not be stuck at a round table the whole night. So we're going for two long rows of tables that'll be joined by one across the top making an angular U shape if that makes any sense at all!
I've flat out refused to do a seating chart (much to my mother's horror!) but I figure we're all adults and people will be talking and stuff as they enter the reception and they can choose their own seat and continue with their conversation. I'll reserve seats for family and there will be a nice framed sign that invites people to seat themselves. I just don't have the time or the inclination to make a seating chart and cos we're not having round tables I think it's entirely unneccessary!
I really fought doing a seating chart and originally planned on just doing "Reserved" tables for the family, bridal party, and us. That didn't work out well numbers wise tho bc we ended up with too many family members on one side, too few on the other, and a bridal party that was divided due to internal bickering.
In the end I am very glad I did assign tables. It helped avoid some family drama issues that we were worried about and it got some of the bride and groom family members talking that might not have happened otherwise.
I ended up using this template from Bee Cindy0519 and it was really a quick and easy project and we got a lot of compliments on it.
We'll probably assign tables just to avoid having what happened to us at a friend's wedding happen to our guests. We didn't know anybody at the wedding that wasn't in the bridal party and there was no seating assignment, so we ended up sitting by ourselves at an 8 person table. In the end, they stuck the photographers at our table and they didn't say a word to us. (Which made it easy to cross them off our list of potential photographers for our own wedding!) We were miserable and didn't stay too long after cake was served.
I voted "other". We are assigning the guests to a certain tables but not to exact seats. I don't want the hassle of trying to seat people the proper way (ie, no couples sitting together, male/female, etc etc) We are having long tables that seat 8 so I don't think it'll be a problem to tell people which table to sit at and then they can arrange themselves how they see fit.
I think assigning tables is a must. I was at family wedding recently where this was not done and it honestly ruined the mood of the reception. My extended family was asked to stay at the church for pictures, so the other guests went straight to the reception. By the time we got there, all tables were 3/4 of the way filled, so we had to divide up and sit pretty far away from everyone. To make matters worse, most of our family was in the back of the room - not necessarily where you want them to sit.
Good luck with the decision!
This may be a regional thing, but I have only ever been to 2 weddings that actually had a seating chart. I personally wasn't a fan. I always end up seated next to people I don't know, when people I actually know and like are seated across the room.
Most of the weddings in my area are HUGE (lots of big Italian families, lol), so they avoid the whole high-school-cafeteria feeling by addings LOTS of extra tables. My FH and I are pretty far from actual hardcore planning, but we've agreed that we will NOT be doing a seating chart; it's just not done in either of our families, and we don't see the need for added stress. We'll have about 350 people in attendance with at least 400 chairs, and we'll be sure to reserve a few tables for our parents and other people who will be off taking pictures with us. It's worked for everyone else in our families, and we're sticking to it!
We're doing one, even tho we're having only 80-85 people there. I like the idea of assigning numbers and having the guests sit wherever they'd like to at the table.
Definitely a seating-plan. Things can be very awkward otherwise when people avoid certain tables. People can feel left-out and tables can get over-crowded.
I will probably have to do one, for reasons mentioned above, to cut down on the family draaaammmmaaaa. That and I will have to force people to sit with my dad's annoying g/f. I'm bad... the thought of sticking it to my brothers by making them sit with her just gave me a HUGE smile.
if you don't want to do one, make sure that you have some tables reserved for your families.
We're doing one, but I wanted to mention that my tent rental person STRONGLY suggested that we have open seating. He explained that there are often a lot of no-shows and you save a lot on costs when you don't have a seating chart.
I think his reason only holds true (saving money) depending on whether you are paying for the linens, chairs, tables ala carte (like I am) or whether it is all included in your venue.
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I cannot decide if we should do a seating chart or not for our reception. I've heard horror stories of receptions where 2 people are sitting at one table, and 15 chairs are shoved around another table meant for 8.
What are you ladies doing? And why?