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I went to a wedding last year for a close friend. She did not have a seating chart. By the time FI and I got there (mind you, we were not late) all our acquaintances had sat together (all my close friends at the wedding were in the bridal party or were unable to attend) and we were stuck sitting at a table alone with some friends of the groom's father. It was kind of awkward. Also, people are more likely to get up and mingle if they know their seat won't be taken when they come back.
I think the best way to do it is to assign tables, not seats, because that way people can sit next to the people they choose, but there's a home base of sorts for them to go back to.
I saw charts made by these guys on a blog a while ago: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6294416
I especially like this tree one as it could be made into placemats which I think would be cute (although it's too bad they only come in sets of 500!) : http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=17027912
I went to a wedding a couple years ago where tables were assigned and I did not enjoy it. I ended up sitting with some very nice (but quiet) elderly ladies instead of my friends, who were seated across the room. Luckily my date was there to keep me company and talk to me during the evening. I am planning on letting people sit wherever they want because I want everyone to be happy. My suggestion is if you decide to have assigned tables, be sure to keep friends close together. Good luck!
My fiance and I are doing escort cards -- basically we're assigning tables but not specific seats. The main reason we wanted semi-assigned seating is that we have several friends who likely won't know anyone else at the wedding. I wanted to make sure they're not looking around the room wondering where it would be "OK" for them to sit -- personally, I'm not a big fan of that awkward middle-school-lunchroom feeling of looking for a table! I also wanted to avoid situations like the one Johnsbride09 described and put people who are likely to have something to talk about at the same tables.
But if most of your guests know each other and you think they'll naturally cluster into tables, I wouldn't stress assigning seats. And really, I think most people will enjoy themselves either way!
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I totally feel your pain, my FI and I originally decided to forego the seating chart. However, after much debate between us and my parents we have decided to have a seating chart. I agree that most people will feel comfortable having a "home base" of their assigned table. I think assigning a table rather than a specific seat is the easiest option as you don't have to worry about who will sit next to who. For us, we decided it would be better to have assigned seats for some of our older guests' sake so they don't have to worry about not getting a seat.
In regards to happy_bunny's comment, we were at a wedding this past summer where there were 9 of us close friends and one single person who didn't know anyone seated at our table. While we are a very social bunch we enjoyed talking to her and I think she appreciated not feeling left out, but I agree that you don't want people to be stranded without a seat. If you chose to do the unassigned seating, just keep in mind that some folks might end up in a situation such as hunny_bunny and her date. Try reserving a few tables for family or older guests so they are guarenteed a seat or you could also use long tables like Mrs. Espresso which might eliminate some sticky situations.
My sister did not do a seating chart or assigned tables and it was a bit confusing. The worst part is that friends of the family, and even our relatives were seated in the back. The photographer didn't end up with a fair amount of important people because they were seated all the way in the back. I think my parents even went to sit in the back with them because there wasn't really room in the front. Which meant that they didn't really get see the dancefloor or the head table etc. I def reccomend at least assigned tables
I agree on the assigned tables as every wedding I've attended did this. Also, when you don't assign tables, you will need to consider extra place settings as there may be some empty single chairs at tables and it would be tereible if a couple had to sit apart.
I agree. We are doing assigned tables as well. We went to a wedding this summer of my FI cousin- he was an usher and didn't have an assigned spot to sit. His entire family ended up sitting at separate tables and searching for a spot for most of the night. It's helpful to let people know where they're supposed to go!
We had buffet dinner and no seating chart. As a guest, I don't like being assigned to a certain spot because I'd rather be free to visit with a variety of people. As a bride, it was wonderful to not have one because (1) it was one less thing to do and (2) NOT having one made it so easy to have changes in the guest list. There were last minute added and losses (as there are with any wedding), but there was nothing to change on our part. It would have been stressful to try to rearrange one or two days before the wedding because someone got sick or someone was able to change their work shift after all.
If there are going to be places set at the table (ie silverware, glasses, etc) then definitely have assigned tables.
If it's buffet and people are picking up their plates and silverware, then I don't think you need assigned seating.
I'm a fan of assigning tables (I don't think assigning actual seats is necessary) because otherwise you risk having to sit with people you don't know because it's the only seat left.
Also- without assigned seats, you may wind up with people moving chairs and place settings to other tables so they can sit with friends. That results in some tables being picked over and nearly empty (which makes the people that are sitting there feel like lepers) and other tables crammed with people.
I definitely vote for assigned tables. Otherwise, people rush to tables to "claim" a spot. This is awkward for people who know very few others at the wedding and have to go table to table looking for a group that will welcome them rather than saying, "Sorry, these seats are all taken."
Unless it's a very causal, buffet picnic style reception, I tend to view it as a little lazy/thoughtless on the part of the bride and groom to not take the time to figure out what tables would make their guests feel most comfortable. These is always plenty of time before and after the meal for people to mingle.
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I didn't have assigned seating/tables at my wedding, and have never been to one that had them. Many people didn't send in their rsvp's so we didn't really know which people were coming, so it would have been impossible for us to have assigned tables. Nobody complained at all about not having assigned seating. Ours was also buffet style dinner. I think it makes more sense because then people can sit with whoever they are most comfortable with, and at my wedding people got up and mingled around alot of the night talking to people and family they haven't seen for a long time. I don't know if it's just the region where I live, but if I had assigned seats/tables I don't think they would have known what they were, and most likely not sat where it said.
I like the idea of assigning tables but not seats, that's how we did it. Our choice to do this was based on:
I vote for a seating chart. I have always enjoyed receptions more when there is assigned seating, and I have been seated with people I know, rather than scrambling around trying to find a spot and sitting with random people while my friends are across the room. Less stressful!
We did assigned seating at our wedding and I think it worked out well. We had a list for people to look up their names and find which table they were at. All the tables were named for places that were special to us, and the guests enjoyed getting up and looking at the other table names and reading about those places. Great way to get people to mingle!
I think this can go either way...if the bride and groom don't put much thought into the table assignments, then it can result in a horrible experience for guests if they are assigned to tables with people they don't know and have nothing in common with. On the flip side...if brides and grooms put a lot of thought into the assignments, then it can make the wedding reception a lot more fun and stress free for guests. For example...
One wedding I went to last year had table assignments. I didn't know anybody at the reception except for my date and a few childhood friends who I hadn't seen/talked to in many years. The bride ensured we were all seated at the same table, and we had a GREAT time catching up. If there hadn't been a seating chart, I highly doubt we all would have ended up at the same table and the reception wouldn't have been as fun.
I have been to weddings with the heavy hors d'oeuvres/ buffet option where tables were not assigned and it was chaos. People rushed to "claim" chairs before going for food only to come back and find their handbags on the floor underneath a chair someone was sitting in. Families were forced to split up among tables because there would be only one open seat at each table after the aforementioned rush. I know the wedding is the bride and groom's day, but you probably want to take care of your guests too.
At every wedding I have been to with assigned tables or even seat, people still moved about and mingled, but everyone knew who had a "right" to a chair at a given table and if people were returning with plates of food, the guest to the table knew to vacate the chair.
It takes a bit more work on the part of the bride and groom, but as a guest, I always appreciate having an assigned table.
While I don't recommend having nothing assigned, you could at least reserve a couple tables closest to you for immediate family so that they don't end up at the back of the room.
However, I think that assigned tables (not seats) is a good idea for many of the reasons others have said above. I wouldn't want people to see all their friends at a table with no room for them and have that school lunchroom flashback and having to sit with no one they know.
We are assigning both tables and seats. I've been to weddings both ways, and having assigned makes it soo muche asier. We are doign assigned seats because we have menu options, and the wait staff needs to know who gets what, or else we would be just assigning tables.
This is one of those times when you need to know your guests. If it were just our friends, I'd say no seating chart. But, we got a mixed group of our friends and parents friends and family from all over the country who dont know each other and i've been to weddings with a similar mix that didnt have any seating and it was incredibly awkward! Fortunately, the most recent one I had been a bride in planing and recognized the lack of designations of the tables and quickly grabbed a few people we knew and a table. A little while later, more friends walked by looking for two open seats and we tried to nab a chair from other tables to no avail. I dont actually even know where they ended up sitting, but they also left rather early saying later that it was awkward. Know your guests and whether or not it will be awkward for them.
If you're not really having a designated "eating" time, then not having a seating chart is fine, but I definitely have been to a wedding with no seating chart/buffet where I felt kind of "pressured" to "claim" a seat with friends immediately as we walked into the venue, and then realized that we were sitting really close to the Bride and Groom, (seating we felt that should have been for their families)... but we didn't know at the time where the bride and groom were sitting because their table wasn't defined. As a guest, I'd appreciate table assignments. You dont have to assign exact seating, just tables.
I actually prefer assigned tables, but not seats. It's more work for you, but it keeps your guests from feeling like they have to rush to claim a table and leaves them without the worry of sitting with all complete strangers.
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I think my experience has been different than a lot of others. I have never in my entire life been to a wedding with assigned seats, so I guess I can't say that I wouldn't like it, but I've never had a bad experience at weddings w/o assigned seating. I've never had a problem getting a spot, sitting w/ friends, losing a spot to someone who threw my purse somewhere, etc. I think your decision to have assigned tables/seats should depend on your crowd - would your family/friends expect it? Is it common among weddings your crowd attends? Have you experienced problems like the ones others have described that would indicate something similar might happen at your wedding? Assigned tables would be fun, but since my crowd has never done this, it would definitely not be well received at my own wedding. Good luck w/ whichever way you decide to go.
i've gone back and forth on this myself. most of the weddings i've been to were open seating except for three and all worked beautifully except for the last one which made me rethink the whole seating arrangements thing. i think what happened were more people showed up than rsvp'd and we got there in waves as well [i hid out in the back of the church to wait for the ginourmous receiving line to dwindle so i got to the reception venue late] so seating was at a premium by the time i rolled in.
but since the bf and i ran in different circles, it seems like it'd be better to assign tables than just let everyone go at it. this way we can make sure people who know each other can sit with each other while still mixing up the groups of friends. i say this now though...who knows if it'll stick by the time it's for real. just gauge your situtation and go with what you feel will work best.
We're not doing a seating chart. I do like the idea of escort cards, but since we are having so few guests (probably under 50) it's kind of a waste of time. We're also having an afternoon lunch reception, so it seems a bit too formal for me.
Almost every wedding I've ever been to has had assigned tables, with guests free to choose their own seats at their table, and I think that as long as you put some thought into who will enjoy sitting with whom, that's the best way to go. I've only been to one wedding without assigned tables, and I found that it was really chaotic... everyone spent the first 15-20 mins of the reception wandering around, trying to figure out where they were supposed to sit, and some people ended up not getting to sit with their friends/family because they didn't snag a seat quickly enough.
Of course, I guess it also depends on what the norm is in your area and in your family/group of friends. At the wedding I mentioned above, most of the guests were like me and had never been to a wedding with open seating before, hence all the confusion when it was time to sit down for dinner. If your guests are used to it, they may not mind it at all.
As a former event planner, I should advise you that if you do decide not to assign tables, you will need to provide extra seating.
Think about ANY time you hhave ever sat in a theater. People tend to not sit next to each other and leave just one seat in between. If you apply that same theory to your seating at your wedding, you can see how frustrating it will be for latecomers to have to split up in order to get a seat.
This goes for sit down and buffet.
From my personal experience of not having a seating chart I am glad I did not have one. This lets people sit where and with who they want to. And they cannont complain later when they said they sat with people they did not know or like. It made it alot easier for me because I was inviting some people from my work who could all fit at one table but, two of the girls don't get along so it was easier to let her decide whether or not she sat with them. I think if you are doing 2 different meals it is easier if you do a seating chart and not worry about everyone getting the correct meal. Good luck
Yes yes yes do assigned seating!!! Not specific seats, necessarily, but at least specific tables. We've been to two weddings in the past few years with no assigned seats/tables and both times there ended up being awkward matches of people at tables and random empty seats. I say assign tables, and do it with care - seat people together who know each other or have a common interest.
We won't have assigned seating. Since we're not having a full dinner, no one needs to sit for long. Also, the vast majority of our guests all know each other through our church so encouraging mingling isn't too much of a worry. We will have a few "Reserved" tables for the bridal party and our families near the dance floor so they'll have a good view come time for the first dance and the toasts.
I would say do assign tables but not seats. This way, you KNOW everyone has a seat! I went to a wedding this past summer, and my FI and I were made to split up because there were not two seats left together. Now i know the chances of that happening are slim, but it was at a friends wedding, and it wasn't very fun for my FI because he really didn't know anyone there. Another thing is that you will for sure know that everyone has a seat and gets seated atleast with someone that they know. Yes, people can deal with sitting with people they don't know, but they do have something in common-THE BRIDE AND GROOM!
I've never been to a wedding where seats were assigned. I like the idea of letting people mix and mingle with each other, whether it be with new people or with old friends, but of their choosing.
No matter what you do, people will do what they want to. I assigned tables, but not seats and I still had people sitting where they decided that they wanted to... Including moving place settings. I also had 4 people who were all seated at the same table simply not show up...frustrations abound. I must say though that I went to my husbands christmas party where no seats or tables were assigned. We ended up with a much older couple at our table who didn't talk and no one really talked to because no one really knew them. Seems like a good idea to assign tables.
Yes, assign tables! If you spend the time to make sure your guests sit with the people they know (and often want to catch up with), then your guests don't have to rush to grab tables or end up findings seats with people they don't know. I found it quite easy and I personally believe its the considerate thing to do!
Wow, I think there are three people who said they always go to weddings without seating. That is a surprise. I've only been to one wedding that didn't have assigned seating. That wasn't fun because my parents and Fh had to "make" a table in the corner.
The only way I'd suggest to not have assigned tables/seating is:
1. if it's very common for your family.
2. If you reception really has no organized dinner (sit down or buffet).
Otherwise, the other posts about school lunchroom are so true. The wedding Imentioned that didn't have assigned seating...exactly how I felt, all through the ceremony even. And it happened, we ended up being the last ones in and got a cruddy spot.
While people might move their seats anyway, I think if your tables are appropriately filled, it would be difficult for this to happen too much. And if people are going to complain about seating them with people they don't know, if you don't assign seats those same people will compalin when they don't get a seat because they are all taken.
For the most part not assigning tables is a disaster, IMO. I would definitely hate to attend another wedding without it.
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I'm struggling with whether or not to create a seating chart or to just let people sit where they want at the reception. None of the weddings I've been to in recent years (or maybe ever really) had planned seating at the reception. We are having more of a heavy hor dourve/buffet type of reception. Does this amke a difference in which way to do it? Do guests really care or prefer one way or another? I don't mind putting together a seating chart (I say that now not having attempted it yet) and seems like a way to add more DIY projects (which I LOVE) but is it more hassle than it's worth? Does anyone regret doing it one way or the other? My wedding is still 9 months away so I have time to make a decision (and change my mind 3 times) but I've been really focused on this issue lately for some reason. Any input is welcome. Thank you!