Seating of divorced parents

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Toronto2014:  wow….you could be my sister, just change the 20 to 10.  Other than that, our situation is almost exactly the same.

I have no advice, I don’t know what to do either honestly.  What makes my situation hard too is that my dad’s family HATES my step mom (she’s not a nice person, I do my best to get a long with her, she’s just one of those people) and they adore my mom.

How big is your wedding?  Are there close family friends invited?  Can you seat her with friends?

Post # 5
Hostess
9919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Toronto2014:  we’re at McMichael – also with a guest list of about 120 – so weird.

 

Post # 6
Member
518 posts
Busy bee

I’m divorced, at my first wedding I had 4 “family tables” because both sets of our parents were divorced. My mom also has very little family so I also sat her friends,  my aunt, a couple of my bridal party and my boss with her, she knew everyone and had a great time and appreciated the “separation”. I had the “moms” on one side (my mom and his mom’s tables) and the dads on the other. We only had 100 guests.

Post # 7
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

Table of good friends? Do you have siblings she could sit with? I’m sorry :/

Post # 8
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Is there anyone else you could seat with you mother?  Any of her friends, or maybe even some of your friends who she knows well?  I agree that the best arrangement would be with the grooms parents, but if that is a no-go, go with the people at the wedding she is closest with.

Post # 9
Member
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Toronto2014:  Are you inviting any of your mother’s friends to the wedding? Maybe you can seat her with them. Do you have any close cosuins she would not mind sitting with?

Your FI needs to be reasonable and help try to make this day comfy for his future mother in law and grandmother to his children.

Post # 10
Member
499 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think that you should ask your FI if you can discuss it with his mother.  Perhaps she is looking forward to sitting with XYZ in his family.  If not, problem solved.

Post # 11
Member
1302 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t understand why your fiance wouldn’t want your moms to sit together. I would talk to your mom AND his mom and make sure it it okay with both of them to sit together. If your moms have really hit it off as wellas you say they have, I don’t see any issues with this seating arrangement. As long as everyone is happy and comfortable, that is great!

Post # 12
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If I seat my divorced parents together, I bet my mother would seat herself on my father’s deaf side so she can make fun of him all night and he can roll his eyes (we just don’t know if he can hear her!)

But in your case I’d just ask FMIL directly. No offense to your fiance, but he is being inconsiderate towards your mother. I can’t imagine that your FMIL’s “people” will fill up JUST one table, so people will have to sit elsewhere anyway.

Post # 13
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

This must be a common subject. My mom is also still with the guy that she cheated on with my dad. I plan on keeping my parents FAR apart haha. I would sit your mom with brother and maybe close friends of yours or your FI.

I don’t see why it’s wrong to let your mom sit with your FI’s mother I mean you are becoming one family.  I would talk with you FI or even his mom. It’s not like your asking for 5 people to sit with your FI’s mom. GOOD LUCK! This alone is stressful

Post # 15
Member
2132 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Personally, I think that is kind of crappy of your fiance.  A wedding is about combining 2 families and what better way than to sit the families together.  I understand that his mom might want to do some catch up with her out of town relative, but she has the whole wedding to do so.  As a parent of the couple, she will probably be up the whole time talking with guests.

I might ask your mom where she wants to sit, and maybe ask your FMIL directly if it is ok if they sit together.  If not, do you have any cousins, or maybe childhood friends that could sit with her?  Or perhaps some close friendly friends?  Maybe you could sit the bridal party with their dates at a table with her, and then just have a sweetheart table instead of a headtable.  

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