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I'm planning on my parents, his parents, his gram, my gram, and my aunt at one table. It's sort of a weird situation because FI only has one grandparent, and my grandma and aunt are kinda like a package deal (they live together, they're both good friends with FI's grandmother, etc.)
But this was all depending on my assumption that my dad's parents (my other grandparents) wouldn't be coming. My grandmother is weak and too sick to travel (they live in North Carolina) But apparently (!) they might be moving up here in the spring. If that happens, I'll put my aunt with her brothers and put my grandparents at the table with the other parents and grandparents.
We are not having assigned seating for the reception. One set of family will be in one corner, another across the room in another corner and 2 other sets of family in the other corners...haha! I have step grandparents and I'm treating them like grandparents (they will be getting coarsages, etc.) to avoid any hard feelings even though they aren't involved in my life. Better put, if you do it for one you need to do it across the board is what I have been told by florists.
What if you reserved a few tables for family and they chose where to sit?
Have you asked the parents what they prefer? In our case we (POB) wanted to be seated with my Dad and siblings,and never considered combined seating arrangements with the groom's family. FOG & SM were seated with their parents (the Grands on that side) as well as the FOG's sister and brother. B & G were at a sweetheart table alone,and bridal party & dates were seated with either their family or cousins.
I think we'll have each set of parents host their own table. So my parents will have a table that will probably include my grandparents and 4 more people of their choice, (probably aunts/uncles). FH's parents are divorced and remarried so each set will have their on table. He won't have grandparents at the wedding so the tables will include close aunts/uncles.
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I'm curious about how most people seated their parents at their reception. We could put our parents and our grandparents together and it'd total 8, and fit a table perfectly. All siblings are in the wedding party.
Or... his mom remarried a couple years ago (FI's dad passed a decade ago) so technically, my FI has a whole "step" family come into his life. They're all really great, we're just not that close to them, and it's weird for him to consider people his "grandparents" at this point, as an adult. But I'm wondering if they technically should be included at a parent/grandparent table, or if it doesn't matter. Or if we should just not even combine the family tables at all.
I'm just a little stumped, and nobody seems to have strong opinions on how we do it. Luckily we've got absolutely no family drama here to navigate - so no risk offending anyone. But I'm just wondering what the norm for parent / grandparent seating is.