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Sparkles, I did one table with both our parents and grandparents and my brother (the only one of our siblings who wasn't in the wedding party). Neither side really complained, although I didn't tell my in-laws ahead of time. My mom actually suggested seating the parents together because it worked better with our numbers and then set them aside at a special table right in the front.
Why are they giving you crap about seating them together? They're the PARENTS that's how it's supposed to be, right? That's how I"ve seen it done at most other weddings. YOu guys are family, now they're family and that's it, lol
I'm seating my mom, dad, aunt, her bf, bm's mom (basically my second mom), FMIL, and his grandparents at one table. That's 8 for a 10 man table so my Fi and I can come sit with them. Basically, my aunt and bm's mom are my only family coming.
At another table goes FI's dad, his wife (i'm not going to call her my FI's stepmom) and his immediately family. There's some awkward dynamic going on that makes it terribly inappropriate to seat his wife with our "family"
However, it is acceptable to put your family at one table and his family at another depeneding on how many gparents you have and whatnot. I do think it's a nice "get to know each other" gesture to shove your parents and in-laws together.
We sat the parents together at their own table. There were complaints, but we pretty much ignored them!
I think some of it depends on how many family members you have. And how well the parents get along. We sat parents at different tables, but equally close to the head table. We just had other family members we thought we should sit them with. And put the pastor at my parents' table. (Dh parents aren't Catholic.)
Why are they giving you a hard time? Do they not like each other? If there is griping about sitting the parents together, it might be best for everyone if they are not sitting together. You don't want to foster negative feelings toward each other, or awkwardness/fighting for your reception.
Hmmm...I don't necessarily see anything wrong with it, but I am not doing this. But then again, my parents are divorced and my dad is getting remarried this summer. I think all of them sitting together would be really awkward 
I am sitting his parents with their parents (grandparents) and my dad with his sibling (aunts and uncles) and same for my mom.
But ultimately, if this is not where they want to sit, then I think you shouldn't push the issue. You want your parents and FI's parents to be comfortable at your wedding.
this was a pretty contentious issue at my brother and SIL's wedding, but they found a really good way to deal with it--my SIL's parents got divorced pretty recently and it's really awkward for them (and my SIL) to be together. so, each of them got a table and got to chose who would sit with them, and my parents got to put their table together too. my parents sat with all my aunts and uncles, my bf and i, and my dad's oldest friend, and it was really nice. i think each of my SIL's parents sat with a group of their friends. my parents had been really upset and felt slighted, having assumed that all the parents would be sitting together with the bride and groom, but ended up being really happy that they got to share some quality time with their siblings.
I've always heard that the parents of the bride host one table and the parents of the groom host their own table. Does either set of parents have siblings? They would be sat at that table as well. Same goes for still-living grandparents. For my situation, my parents were never married so my mom will host one table, my dad will host another, and FI's parents will host their own.
I think it's kinda rude that you've been getting some complaints about this... unless there are some other issues? Like any bad blood between the sets of parents or divorces? If there aren't any valid reasons for them to be complaining other than they just want to sit with their friends during your reception, I say ignore it.
If you decide you want to just avoid the drama, though, could you have each set of parents host a table instead? This is what we did, and it ended up working best because otherwise we wouldn't have been able to seat all our parents, grandparents, and "special guests" at the same table.
we are sitting with my parents, his dad, and the maid of honor (and date) and a single groomsman. We then have his step-dad who he is not close with seated at another table with his mom's side of the family (his mom has health problems and won't be in attendance). I haven't heard any complaints yet...however I'm sure I will the day of and afterwards ;)
Sorry you have to deal with this. Why are seating arrangements so hard??!!
Personally, I think you should just split them up. No need to cause drama if its not necessary (although they are the ones causing it, not you). Give each set of parents their own table and let them sit with their friends/family. I know it'd be really nice to have them all together at one table having a smashing time during dinner and getting to know each other, but it doesn't always work that way. Best to split them up and let them hang with their friends too. They're going to have a lifetime to get to know each other better.
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Hmm, most of the weddings I've been to have separated the parents. Not because they don't get along (quite the opposite), but because there was enough family on both sides to seat everyone at their own table. Although our parents get along quite well, my parents will want to sit with my mom's family (she has 4 siblings); and his parents will want to sit with his mother's family (3 siblings)! We want them to be comfortable. Our parents will have spent enough quality time with each other at the rehearsals and the morning of, that they'll want to spend time with their closest family (their best friends) for a few hours at the reception.
I actually have thought about this, but only in my mind so far. I haven't actually touched on this subject yet.
My fiances mom said to me, when she handed me her guest list, please let me decide the seating for my people ... I'm like ok! Lol. Please, I don't know. She's so pushy though, so I will let her HELP me with seating.
My fiances best man is his brother who's married and my maid of honor is my little sister, and that's our wedding party! Apart from our ring boy. I think that fiance wants to sit at a table with me alone, and have kings chairs, lol.
His brother will want to sit with his wife, I assume, and my sister, who I'm allowing to invite a couple friends - will want to hang out with them.
I will just let the parents decide who they would like to sit with.
This is the issue. I didn't want to post too much of an opening drama post about it. Because in every family there is always weird dynamics.
My dad wants to sit with his mom and step-dad. His mother is just, this very inconsistent person who can make rude obnoxious (sometimes racist) & passive agressive remarks. They are Puerto Rican/Italian.
My mother doesn't want to sit with her mother-in-law. She wants her mom and her brother to sit with her. My mother & my dads mom have never been on good terms. Mainly because my grandmother is just rude (she knows I don't speak spanish- and always talks to me in spanish, although with my cousins she speaks english to them, she refuses to eat her daughter-in-laws mother food because it 'isn't good enough'... She is stuck up & irrational).
My FH parents are Taiwanese. They are very kind people. They don't really understand english that much, but they make a genuine effort. I was going to sit them with my parents. I thought that would be a nice gesture to have my parents and my FH parents seated together. There isn't bad blood between the two, but I thought it would be weird if I DIDN'T seat the two familys together. (I didn't want people to say... "why aren't the two parents sitting together?")
My dad has a half brother who is married with two young kids (one is the fower girl, the other the ring bearer). Usualy my grandparents are attached to the hip with them. (so I thought it would be a nice break if I separated the two.) My FH has a brother with two kids who are similar in age. So I thought I would sit my uncle and my FBIL together with all the kids. And that would complete a table of 8.
But my FH and my dad want me to separate my dad's parents from my FIL. They are worried my grandmother and her unpredicatbleness might cause strife. So I explained to my dad- 'well either I put fiance's parents on one table with their other son and the grandkids, and I do the same with your parents- put them with your half brother and his kids'... but my dad wants to sit with his parents- although my mother does not! But this probably the way it will wind up being i I keep meeting resistance...
It's dinner for pete's sake. They have to make nice for an hour and a half. That is all I am asking. I don't feel like I should put the prospective grandparents with the grandkids. I think that is ridiculous. It's basically me versus my dad and Fiance. My mom is like 'if I have to sit with my mother-in-law I will for my husbands sake, but I am not going to like it'. At least my mom is tryig to suck it up.
This is why I was curious how other people did it. And if you had drama as result. I mean seriously- my grandmother has been known to throw food at people to exhibit her displeasure. She isn't old or senile. She is just ghetto.
But the numbers work beautifully if I seat the in-laws, parents, grandparents, my mom bro and mother together on one table together. And seat the uncle with his fam, and BIL and his family on a separate table. The grandparents don't need to be with the grandkids 24/7! The kids should be seated together so they can play, be closest to the most convenient area of the dining hall with the maximum amount of space to run and access to the restroom.
But you're right, I should not push the issue if it is causing grief. But I don't see how they can't just deal for a dinner! Bride vs. father-of-the-bride and FH... FOB/FH will probably win. I just needed to see how others did it.
Lol, is it rude to say that I am still laughing from your last line? Classic. I think your dad and your Fi have a very good point in that you wouldn't want something you have no control over whatsoever (i.e. your gandma's bad behavior) to hurt your FIL's feelings. However, I think a compromise might be necessary (i.e. you're dad doesn't get to sit with his mom).
Are you having a head table? How big is your bridal party? And do you have anyone else "special" in the wedding that is also coming to the reception (like readers, an officant, etc...)? All I can say is what I would do, and that would be to keep your grandma away from your FIL's. Sit your grandma and step-grandfather with your uncle and his family and one other "special" couple (like a good friend of the family or someone that knows and can deal with your grandma). Another table of your FBIL's family along with two other "special" couples or a family of four that he can tolerate (cousins from your side or your FH's side or maybe even two bridal party members and their dates if you are not having a head table). Finally, another table for your parents, your Fi's parents and each of them gets to choose one couple (NOT your grandma and step-grandfather!) to sit with them. If you are not having a head table, you could seat you, your Fi, your best man, and maid of honor at the table with your parents instead.
Obviously this is a really complicated situation, especially if you're feeling a little ganged up on by your Fi and your dad. But from reading your story it does seem like your grandma has the potenetial to really offend/hurt your FIL's, and I think that would be such a terrible thing at your marriage celebration.
Alternatively, have your parents each host a table. Your parents, your grandparents, and your uncle's family at one; your FIL's, your FBIL's family, and another family friend or close couple at the other. Having parents each host a table is just as normal as having parents sit together and not weird at all. :)
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Oh no, there is a story. So sorry. So let's see if I have all the players correct.
FOB and MOB
FOG and MOG
Grandparents (OB)
FBIL (+ wife and two kids)
Uncle (OB) (+ wife and two kids)
Is there and officiant or any other extras?
---
It sounds like your choice is to have :
Table 1 - FOB/MOB, Grandparents (OB), Uncle (OB) and family =8
Table 2 -FBIL and family, and FOG/MOG =6
OR
Table 1 -FOG/MOG, FOB/MOB, FBIL and family =8
Table 2- Grandparents (OB), Uncle (OB) and family =6
I would talk with your FI and your mom. But I'm feeling option 2, is what I would do. Your dad wants to sit with his parents. I know it sounds rational. But sorry, unfortunately, it sounds like his mom can't be trusted around certain folks. The only person that can be held responsible for that is her. I don't think your mom or FILs you should be in an awkward position at their own children's wedding. I also think that it's nice to encourage a bond with your parents and Fi's parents. That's good. And then your grandparents get the adorable flower girl and ring bearer. Besides if you put four kids at a table together, it's a crap shoot. They might do well together, or get each other all hyped up and be obnoxious.
Good luck. Keep us posted.
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Wow you guys are good... Well I am just starting this whole seating arrangement thing. So I have been scouring the boards trying to figure out how to seat the most important people.
We are going to have a sweet heart table. We need a break from hosting everyone that week! The dining area is in the shape of a "T". It's a wine cave. And instead of having a big king table. We are staggering circular tables within the cave. so there isn't a 'head table' so to speak.
I think it is an interesting idea to have the parents-of-bride & parents-of-groom host their own tables. That is a good idea...
This is relatively small wedding (65ish people) so everyone is like our closest friends. So I can certainly try to do it as you all said... figure out who can "fill" the remainder two seats. But the numbers worked so lovely the other way! Ugh!
Mrs. Spring.. no it wasn't rude to laugh. I know this is like the most ridiculous thing ever! Haha. I was just so surprised my family wasn't saying "well this will be an adventure! But the numbers work so let's not have an uphill battle about it!". But no. 
there is.
Hey, Sparkles, we have similar situations. :) While I get along fine with my FIL, he can say some really offensive things sometimes in the name of telling a joke. I didn't want my parents (and my super conservative grandma) to have to deal with it, so I decided they should each host their own table. We also had a very small wedding (57) so it was hard to decide who should be seated where, but in the end it all worked out. Here's what ours looked like:
Table 1: FOB, MOB, Grandma OB, Cousin OB #1 & 2, Great Aunt OB, MOB's friends #1 & 2
Table 2: FOG, MOG, Aunt OG, Uncle OG, Sister OG, Groom's childhood friend #1 & date (this left one seat empty at their table)
Table 3: Sister OB #1 & date, SOB #2 & date, SOB #3, Ceremony Reader, Aunt OB, Uncle OB
Good luck! And remeber that everything will turn out in the end!
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Ladies,
How did you seat your parents and your in-laws at the reception? Separate or together on the same table?
We have circular tables that will fit 8 people. I was thinking of seating my parents with my FH parents. But I am getting so much crap about it you wouldn't believe.
Please share. Did you get a headache making the table assignments, like I am finding myself in?