- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2013 - UK
This is based on another thread someone else posted, in which I didn’t agree with any of the so called solutions. So I thought I’d give it a try and see if I could do better!
1. Brides worry obsessively about what could go wrong at their wedding. However, if you look at posts on here in which guests complain about terrible weddings they went to, they never complain that the floral arch wasn’t big enough, or that the dress should have had a longer train. They complain about being hot, cold, hungry, rained on, about inaccessible venues and a lack of loos. Moral: as long as your guests are comfortable, don’t sweat the small stuff.
2. When people make lots of suggestions about how things should be, stand your ground and politely tell them that it is your wedding, not theirs. You may choose to make a few small changes to keep people happy, but that doesn’t mean that your entire wedding should be done to please others (except for keeping your guests comfortable…).
3. Stay organised. Use spreadsheets to cut things up into measurable chunks. Have timelines. If you will need the help of others (which you will) then ask them nicely, far in advance, and give them a printed sheet detailing everything you want them to do. Make sure you get someone reliable to co-ordinate everything on the day as well, so you don’t have to.
4. Remember that no matter what happens, at the end of the day then you will be married and will be spending your whole lives together. A marriage is a beginning, not an ending, and even if your wedding is terrible then that doesn’t mean your marriage will be!
5. Keep communicating. So many brides and grooms forget to do this. But before you pick your fights, consider what your deal breakers really are. If you are a reeasonable person then there shouldn’t be many of them! If you have too many deal breakers, reconsider. And if you and FI disagree about an issue on which there can really be no compromise, find a way to give on other issues to make it fair. Don’t issue and ultimatums, either. You’ll regret them later.
…. what do you think, guys? Any more to add?