Post # 1
Would love to hear thoughts, pros/cons to Mom’s who had their 2nd soon after their first.
I had my visit with my gyno last week to finally discuss BC options, and he asked when we were going to try again. Caught me off guard! Darling Husband and I then started chatting about it, what works, what doesn’t work, what our current situations are. We had always wanted to have children close in age. I said I wouldn’t mind trying again when DS is around9/10 months old, but I worry that it will take away from my DS.
So for those mommy’s that had babies close in age, did you feel that it took away from your first? Would love to hear some thoughts on this.
Post # 3
The thought of paying for daycare for two kids that close in age gives me hives, personally. But daycare is exceptionally expensive where we live. Taking multiple years off of work isn’t really an option in my science career, so we would not have a choice but to pay for it.
Post # 4
I have a sad story, I was young 21 and had my first child, then I got pregnant right away, within 4 months. My doctor said, becasue I had a ceasarian, I should have an abortion, I would rip my belly if I had the baby full term! So I had to listen, he scared me with the details of what “may” have happened. I am now 47 and still grieve for that baby.
I think children close in age get along better than those who aren’t. They get to be playmates and keep each other company. Then you won’t have one “babysitting” the other and cursing you for ruining their date night when they are teens!
Post # 5
@happyface: That is just horrible he told you that! You could have been induced a few weeks early. I cannot believe he told you that. 🙁 I have to have a c-section for my pregnancy and my doctor said it is fine to get pregnant again right away, but I’ll have to be induced at 38-39 weeks to prevent (hopefully) going into labor.
I have to have IVF for any future children (3 mos. pregnant), so if we want to have a 2nd child, we have to act very, very fast. I have diminished reserve and a fibroid problem, so my RE said if we do want a 2nd child after this one, we can’t wait more than a few months.
I prefer children in age a few years apart, but for me that just isn’t an option.
Post # 6
My cousin accidently had her second child close to her first and was seriously stressed to high heaven and about to rip her hair out when they were both little. It isn’t so bad now that they are a bit older (4 and 5 now) but she’s explicitly told me she would never recommend having them that close together to anyone.
Post # 7
I know LOTS of Mommies with babies close in age. While the first 3-4 years are ROUGH the children seem to really enjoy having each other as playmates and Mom enjoys their sibling playtime. However, we are waiting about 5 years before even thinking about another because of my schooling and FIs work. I think that if you are a) financially ready, b) emotionally ready, and c) have lots of patience that a 2nd child this close is totally worth it!
Post # 8
I am pregnant with my first and have been thinking of how long we should wait to have our second. Darling Husband wants to wait until the LO is a few years old…I would like to start trying when they are about 15 months, so that way our LO will be at least 2 if not older when the second baby is born. I think thats a good age gap 🙂
Post # 9
We are planning on trying to get pregnant right away again due to my age, I’m 33.
Post # 10
With me turning 38 this month and Fiance already 40, and not planning on TTC till next summer, if we are successful we will be trying right away for #2. I’ll go back to work right away and basically I’ll get in however many hours I need to qualify for the 2nd mat leave by the due date for when/if baby 2 comes along.
Sucks, would like some space, but if they want us to be parents to them they have to come close together!!
Post # 11
I think this is a “to each there own” type thing. Personally, I think it would be really great in later years to have a sibling that close in age. For me, I would like to get diaper duty over with, I can’t imagine having a potty trained kid and then going for another.
Post # 12
I think people like whatever they grew up with. My brother and I are 6 years apart and that worked really great for us. We were each treated like only children and never felt like we were in any way in competition with each other, (which I know a lot of siblings close in age feel).
Darling Husband is only two years younger than his sister and he loves the small age difference because they were best friends growing up.
Either one works.
Well probably compromise on a 4 year difference. I don’t want to have ot be paying two college tuitions at once!
Post # 13
@happyface: I can’t believe your doctor would tell you that, I am so sorry. My mom had me via C-section and got pregnant with my brother 3 months later, and her pregnancy went fine. She always said that it was overwhelming but fun!
Post # 14
I’m not a mom but my Future Brother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law are parents and their children are only 14 months apart. They purposely wanted to have baby #2 fairly quickly after baby #1. They thought it would be great to have babies so close in age. Well, they ended up having twins. Now they have 3 babies under 20 months old and they’re miserable.
Post # 15
Our first and second children were seperated by a little under 3 years and I think that was a good spacing. I was able to concentrate on the baby without neglecting the older one because she wasn’t as dependant as a baby. But I got preggo with our third when the second was only 9 months old. It is absolute craziness now with a 10 month old and a 29 month old. I would suggest to at least wait until the first is out of diapers. I am up to my elbows in poop and pee and messes, and both of them waned to be held ALL>THE>TIME. I’ve also read that you should give your body 18 months to fully heal internally after giving birth before having another one. I noticed that in my third pregnancy, I had a few more issues than I did with my first two, and I think it was because I wasn’t fully recoperated from having our middle son.
Post # 16
@crayfish: Ugh…agreed. The daycare around here is insane…you’d have to be making pretty decent money for it to be worth working with two kids in daycare…yikes!