(Closed) Second cousins/kids problem…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should we handle this situation?
    Invite the two we want there and hope his cousins understand that we're closer to those kids. : (6 votes)
    33 %
    Find a job for the two we want there... maybe hand out programs or something. : (7 votes)
    39 %
    Invite none of the kids. : (2 votes)
    11 %
    Other... explained below. : (0 votes)
    Set an age limit. : (3 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Such a tricky situation. I would just invite the two you want to be there and hope for the best. Either way you do it, someone is going to get hurt, so just do what you want!

    Post # 4
    Member
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I have a very large family as well and I’m not going to have second cousins/kids at my wedding this goes for friends with kids too. Only my neice and nephew ( RB and FG)and my FI neices and nephews (ages 21-12).

     I think the rest of the cousins have to know that you are much closer to these 2 then any of them. Invite them, its your wedding and invite the people you want there. I would give them some thing to do as well if you wanted to (reading at the ceromony/passing out programs) but you don’t have to, You could even call them up and tell them that you are not inviting the 2nd cousins but you are inviting them just so maybe they won’t say anything to the rest of the cousins (if they even see them)  Good luck!

    Post # 5
    Member
    46 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    i say set an age limit that the two cousins fall into if you’re concerned about hurt feelings, otherwise people who don’t go out of their way to see you on OTHER special occassions REALLY shouldn’t be upset they don’t get to come to this event.

    Post # 6
    Member
    46154 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    You really can’t prevent hurt feelings entirely. People will choose how they respond.

    It doesn’t seem unreasonable to me to have these 2 second cousins and not others, as you do say you see them on a regular basis.

    I would however give them a task- ? guest book attendant.

    Frankly I am sick of people’s behavior these days when it comes to invitations to any sort of event. It is totally rude to question the decison of the host or hostess if you have not been invited. Having been through their own weddings, these people should understand that every couple has to make hard decisions. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you, they just can’t have everyone at their wedding.

    Post # 7
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I’d say invite who you want and be done with it. I realize my family is a little ridiculous in size, but your family is tiny compared to ours, so i completely understand. Budget is a concern for us, so I simply made the executive decision on who I’m simply not close enough to to invite. Some decisions were easy, like no second cousins/no “and guests” that I’ve never met, things like that, but some were harder like I want this first cousin’s kids but that one’s. In the end, if they really get upset enough to stop talking to me, it was a) someone I didn’t talk to in the first place or b)someone who apparantly isn’t as close as I thought to understand the situation. I’d say you’d be safe with the “no kids under 11” as your official policy.

    The topic ‘Second cousins/kids problem…’ is closed to new replies.

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