- 2 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
I wanted to get a sense from the other bees out there about the ettiquete for my situation.
In 2012, I got engaged to the man I had been seeing for eight years. He proposed with the most gorgeous 2.25 ct cushion, the exact ring I’d been hoping for. We got to planning, and I had bought my dress, booked the venue, sent out save the dates…but then I found out he was cheating on me. I called off the wedding and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I was single for the first time since I was 18, and I got the chance to really discover myself.
Now, two years later, I’m happily in love with the man of my dreams. We met and both of us immediately fell head over heels. We started planning for the future, and while I have no doubt in my mind that I want to marry him, I found myself thinking about certain things.
1. My old engagement ring is long gone, but I find myself wanting the same style ring, and I wondered if anyone who has been proposed to multiple times had similar rings, or did they go in a completely different direction? I’m torn. He could propose with a lugnut and I’d say yes. Part of me thinks that I’ll love anything he takes the time to pick, and gives to me because it’s a symbol of his love. The other part of me knows that this is something I’m going to be incredibly picky over, and that it won’t be what I want in a ring, because I already had the ring I wanted and nothing else will compare.
2. I haven’t been married yet, but since my first engagement ended, I feel very awkward about the whole thought of a celebration. I originally wanted my moment in the spotlight, to feel like a princess in my big ivory ballgown, in the beautiful ballroom, with everyone around, and all the pomp and circumstance of a formal traditional wedding. I still want that, but now, part of me feels like it would be inappropriate to do that, and I should resolve to do something very small, casual, and simple, without all the frills most people have for their first wedding. Has anyone else been engaged or married multiple times? Did you feel like you had to tone down your wedding because of that?