- 8 years ago
- Wedding: April 2010
I have 6 bridesmaids, my younger sister, 2 who are friends since elementary school, 1 a friend since college, my brother’s girlfriend (they’ve been dating for years, live together – she’s practicallly a sister) and the 6th is a friend I lived with for 4 yrs up until 1 month before getting engaged.
My dilemma is with the last one, we’ll call her C. We were super close all 4 yrs living together, went on weekend trips together, double dated, helped each other through relationship woes (I moved in with her 2 yrs before even meeting FI) and was to be a bridesmaid in her wedding (whcih has been postponed twice and will now just be a quickie elopement IF they end up even getting married which she’s no longer sure they want to do.) Since she moved in May, I’ve seen her twice, both times for quick dinners. We’ve made plans plenty of times and she inevitably cancels on the day of (I think once she may have given me 24hrs notice). As my only Bridesmaid or Best Man in the same state, I’ve asked her twice if she’d mind going dress shopping with me, fully catering to her schedule. Both times she’s hedged then finally cancelled all together (yes, I’m that poor sad girl who goes dress shopping completely alone)
I have another friend, we’ll call her J, I’ve known since we were 15 and visit at least once a year despite living in different states for our entire friendship. Over the last few weeks, I’ve regretted not asking her to be a maid, and I’ve notived a definite chill in our friendship. I had dinner with her the night before we got engaged, and she was the first person to congratulate me.
I had plans to see C for dinner tonight and woke up, of course, to an emailing bailing and asking to raincheck for next week (when she knows I’ll be leaving town for the holidays). I’m not-so-quietly fuming and at this point want to UNinvite her to be a bridesmaid.
Petty as it sounds, I desperately wanted short chiffon-y Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses for my farm-setting wedding but opted instead for full-length after C said she refuses to wear anything that shows her “Cankles”. I can attest that in 4 yrs of lviing together I never once saw even a glimpse of her legs, even post-shower or when we spent weekends in the Hamptons. I was afraid if I chose the short dresses I wanted she’d back out, and it meant more to me to have her there. Now, as our friendship has clearly nosedived, I 1.) feel like she’s probably going to backout of the wedding just before 2.) don’t really feel like she fits in the “lifelong friend” category the rest of the girls do 3.) I want my short Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses!!!
I want to pull the ol switcharoo and have J take C’s place. I realize I probably can’t do that…but is there maybe possibly some way I could? Since I think she’ll drop out at the last minute anyway, would it be wrong of me to politely offer her an opp to rescind her acceptance?
Does this make me a brideszilla?