Post # 1
We’ve been together for 9 years, recently engaged, and planning small details for our wedding in 09/2012. He’s been hit with MAJOR baby fever.
I wont lie, I look at baby clothes, get excited at the thought of having a child, and cant wait for the day we become parents. BUT, I’ve always dreamed of my BIG wedding.
He still more than anything wants to get married, he just has brought up in conversation the idea of a smaller wedding, he knows we can do a smaller wedding sooner, then start trying for a baby.
I’m getting frustuarted but can semi see his point of view. We can save money by having a smaller wedding, but even if we were to get pregnant right away, BABIES ARE EXPENSIVE! Not only that, but if we were to have a smaller wedding, I feel I might be disappointed in the future :/
Post # 3
You have to decide what is more important to you, A really big party or starting your family sooner. That’s what it boils down to. Only you know where you are at with this.
Post # 4
How old are you? You don’t want to hold of having children forever, and the longer you wait, the harder it;ll be to conveive.
Post # 5
Oh boy,,, FI is currently doing the same thing. I told him to put his baby fever on hold since most of the wedding deposits have been paid. I don’t want to have a newborn (or be pregnant at our wedding), but he sees it as a non-issue. Although, if I were in your situation and only little details were planned, I think I’d probably be more open to your FI’s plans! Is there any way you can move the wedding up and still have your big wedding (maybe scaled down a bit), which would allow you to baby-make sooner?
Post # 6
ya, how old are you? i think that is what matters.
we had a really huge ginormous wedding, but now i am regretting it. we spent so much money on it, but it was only one day. we spent thousands for a couple hours!
now, we are going to have to start our family much later than i would like because we have to save up money after the huge wedding.
Post # 7
How recent is this baby fever he’s having? It seems odd that if you’ve been together for 9 years, he all of a sudden needs to have a baby right away. If it’s been 9 years, is another year gonna kill him? Or has he been talking about a baby for years now?
Post # 8
You need to sit him down and both lay out what is important to you. It’s not that you don’t want a baby, but that you don’t want one NOW. You want to celebrate you as a couple first before expanding your family and, in some ways, handing your life over to your children. You want to be a bit selfish first – I completely understand this!
If you “have time” and are young then you don’t have to jump into kids right away.
Post # 9
Yeah, how old are you and how old is he? My husband kinda freaked out when he realized that he doesn’t want to be 40 when our kid is 10 years old. Which was a good thing for me because I’m ready for a baby at any point.
I do have to say that my wedding budget was only $10k and having a kid may be more but I don’t think I could put a price tag on a kid. Now, with a one day party like my wedding, I personally did not want to spend more than $15k on my wedding. Not to diminish what a great day my wedding was, but it was still just one day. I wanted to make sure that our wedding wasn’t too big or expensive that it kept us from having a family, buying a home and going on vacation in the future. etc. I think having a kid is expensive in different way then a wedding.
Now when I had my wedding, we both didn’t want kids at that moment. We were okay with waiting 2 years after the wedding to have them. We were both okay with waiting, since I’m 27 and my husband is 28.
I think you guys need to talk this out and figure out a compromise.
Personally, I would want a smaller wedding rather than a larger wedding. So if I had baby fever while planning I would probably give up the larger wedding so that I could have kids sooner. That’s just me but yeah… think you guys need to figure something out.
Post # 10
W are 26, and he has talked about wanting a baby for a little over a year now.
He’s around kids all the time. He coaches and we both have big familys with lots of little ones 🙂
I’ve heard 50/50 on all of it. Some people say they had a big wedding but ended up regretting the $ spent, and some people say they had a very small wedding and regret not having a “grand” affair.
Post # 11
How many people do you want to invite to your wedding? I had 130 guests at my wedding and for us, it was a perfect size. Not too small but not too big. If I had to, I could have reduce our guest size to 100.
There are always ways to cut down on wedding costs. You don’t have to have a very small wedding. How much is your wedding budget?
Post # 13
You still have plenty of time to have a kid. I think you should have the special wedding you want, just don’t go overboard and spend too much! You can have both! I mean, you’ve waited 9 years to get married! You should have that special day for yourselves before the next 18+ years are taken up with kids.
Post # 14
I had the big wedding and spent a lot of money, but I do not regret one single thing. I watched the wedding video last night and was in aww at how perfect everything really was, but that’s what I wanted and I knew I always wanted that. We are going to be TTC soon so hopefully by our 2yr anniversary we are at least expecting. But it really all boils down to what you want. I knew I would regret not having the wedding and by waiting a couple of yrs I got to have both.