Second guessing the dress….

posted 3 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
3371 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@MsGinkgo:  I don’t know how you normally make decsions, but I don’t like bringing people into help in making my life’s decisions.

So I would counceil you to NOT take a group of people with you. Go in yourself, try on both dresses. Pick a favorite that day.

Do not buy it, take a week to think it over. IF you need validation take someone trusted, one person, to giv eyou opinion. Then, buy a dress.

Don’t post photos of it here if it is a known style that will cause negative comments.

Once you buy the dress do three things:

1) forget about the “decision.” It’s over. There is no need to stress because the decision is behind you.

2) realize that this is Just. A. Dress.

It’s an important dress, but there is no such thing as ONE DRESS for the big white wedding. There are multiple dresses that would make you happy. You chose one of them, good for you!

3) STOP LOOKING AT OTHER DRESSES. Do not grab bridal magazines at the store and flip through them. Do not Google any dresses. When you see a web link to dresses, do NOT follow it.

You’ll be calm and happy when you set your mind to not second guessing yourself and do not build this decsiion up to the level of invading Syria. It’s not that, really it’s not.

Post # 4
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@MsGinkgo:  You have to just do your best and keep reminding yourself that your first thought or choice is usually the right one. I have second guessed myself everyday. People teel you to quit looking but how can you when dresses appear everywhere even when you are not consiously looking. Buy the first dresss and just keep thinking of the positive aspects of it. Good Luck and I will be honest it wont be easy. I bought two dresses and I know other bees who have bought four or more dresses.

Post # 5
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

i did almost all of my shopping alone. because i didn’t want anyone else telling me what to try on, or what looked good. i wanted to make my own decision.

try it on. take a picture. then make your choice.

Post # 6
Member
370 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@colorofmyheart:  I couldn’t agree more!  The first time, I took a friend who kept pushing me to buy a gown that — though very beautiful — was way too “princessy” for me.  The second time, I went alone to a different salon and chose two gowns that I loved.  That night, only one dress kept popping into my head when I envisoined myself walking toward my groom. I went back the next day — again alone — and bought it without even trying on the other dress. 

@MsGinkgo:  I recently found a thread here in which a bride offered up a poll on the same dress I bought.  There were some nice comments from fellow Bees, but also some mildly insulting ones.   I felt bad — for about 10 minutes! — then realized that everyone has different taste and its REALLY HARD to judge a dress from a photo!!  In your first post, you said how much you loved the tiered dress.  I wouldn’t even try on the other one…you love your original choice, love it on YOU and it fits your vision then just stick with it.  Your first choice is beautiful!!

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